Psych!

If any journalist was going to dig through the pages and pages of legal documents that were released in the Orie sisters’ indictment and find some really amazing, jaw-dropping, and downright LOL-worthy revelations, it was going to be Dennis Roddy.

So what did he find? Hold on to your chins, Burghers.

State Sen. Jane Clare Orie and her sister state Supreme Court Justice Joan Orie Melvin turned to a clairvoyant to foretell the outcome of their effort to head off a grand jury investigation that ultimately snared the senator.

That’s right. They went to a psychic/seer/mojojujuvoodoo lady to find out if they were going to be charged with crimes.

It gets better!

According to sources close to the case, the sisters sought advice from Carolann Sano of Philadelphia, a self-described “clairaudient,” who says she can channel messages from spirit guides — she refers to them as angels. Ms. Sano says that when she receives a question from a client, she speaks it aloud and hears the answer whispered into her right ear.

How freaky would it be if one day she heard the answer in her left ear?! Shudder.

The first reference to a clairvoyant crops up in a text message obtained by prosecutors, sent by Jamie Pavlot, at that time the senator’s chief of staff, just hours after a University of Pittsburgh intern abruptly resigned to protest what she said was political work on state time at the senator’s office.

The resignation set off a flurry of activity. According to documents presented by prosecutors, at 12:16 p.m. Oct. 30, according to a search warrant affidavit, Ms. Pavlot sent a text message to Ms. Orie: “Can I call the angel ladies?”

Five minutes later, a text reply came from Sen. Orie’s telephone: “Yes … jamie just be smart and careful … you can never let your guard down.”

“You can never let your guard down.” Does that mean the staff member went to the Angel Lady all, “Yeah, would you ask the angels if the Ories are going to be charged with crimes? I’m, uh, asking for a friend.”

Regardless, the Ories are going to trial and I Googled their Angel Lady:

I refer to “them” or the energies that provide these messages as Angels. Some refer to “them” as spirit guides. In any case, it is a more highly evolved intellect than humans, serving God, the universe, mankind. but it is not God. “They” are not 100% correct all the time – cannot be – only God is. These energies exist where there is no time, thus, timing can be delayed.

Boo to that! If I’m asking an angel of God a question, the angel better know what he’s talking about.

I work with my angels and guides, not yours and I work within the White Light. Always ask for the White Light of love and highest good to surround you, eliminating the possibility of negative energies attempting to confuse or discourage either of us during a session.

I saw White Light capitalized and for some reason I thought of White Snake and then my brain went to the Tawny Kitaen straddling the hood of a car video, except Tawny Kitaen was Jane Orie and now I’m all confused, disturbed and want to weep in the shower.

Note: I don’t ask about the sex of an unborn child

Well, I call freaking shenanigans on this one. We can ask the Angel Lady if our crush will call. We can ask her if we’re going to get a new job. We can ask her anything. But we can’t ask her about the sex of our unborn child. I’m guessing because she’ll only be right 50% of the time.

Here’s her disclaimer:

DISCLAIMER: The information & advice given in & through messages you receive is to be treated for entertainment purposes only.

Well, if that’s all it is then the Ories should come to me and I’d go all Psych on them for the low low price of $100 a session.

[Puts finger to temple and closes eyes] If late-80s flight attendant is the look you’re going for, well done. Also, you’re going to be tried, you’re going to be found guilty, and you’re not going to be able to get manicures in jail. I’m no angel. Welcome to hell.

Do you have any idea how badly I want to call the Angel Lady and ask, “Will I ever find my horse?”

And then when she says, “No. But don’t worry, your horse is fine and happy where it is.”

I’ll be all, “BUSTED! I don’t have a horse.”

Also, you know what Zappala is thinking in that picture up there, don’t you?

“[pew pew!]”





35 Comments

  1. Rob Carr
    July 22, 2010 11:18 am

    I was going to say something about it being cruel to post a picture of Shelly Long from some screwball comedy having a really, really bad hair day…

    But…but that’s not a joke. That’s one of the Orie sisters, isn’t it?



  2. Amanda
    July 22, 2010 11:40 am

    My goodness…that whole outfit looks like it came straight from the set of The Sopranos! :-o



  3. Carpetbagger
    July 22, 2010 11:45 am

    This lady sounds like the Oracle in all those Matrix movies. She offers them a cookie and then she tells them whether or not they are The One… who will be indicted.

    I assume that superstition makes the Ories cover all their mirrors at home, so they don’t know what they look like when they go out.



  4. empirechick
    July 22, 2010 12:03 pm

    LOL to Carpetbagger!



  5. spoon
    July 22, 2010 12:03 pm

    she looks like a shih tzu right before the cement truck rolls over her.



  6. Pa-pop
    July 22, 2010 12:05 pm

    The top photo: I imagine that’s what Stevie Nicks would look like after a face-first plunge into a blender. Would that make the “clairaudient” Rhiannon?



  7. CrashJK
    July 22, 2010 12:08 pm

    Do the Orie sisters look like something from an SNL skit to y’all ?!…I can’t wait to see who gets cast to play this trio in the made for tv movie…you know this story is RIPE for the picking, especially knowing how Hollywood will love to tear up republicans.



  8. Margie
    July 22, 2010 12:11 pm

    look at the nails on that woman! I can picture her on Judge Judy defending her actions.



  9. Noelle
    July 22, 2010 12:19 pm

    One hundred American dollars says she wears nylons with open toed shoes.



  10. BeauJacques
    July 22, 2010 12:27 pm

    I’m sorry, but if we’re going to have an Orie sisters scandal why can’t we do it right??

    Like some 4-day Vegas debauchery involving large quantities of tequila, dwarves, a few Steelers, and a record run on the craps table with funds of questionable origin, and the whole thing was billed as an innocent “fact-finding” trip for a PA casino table games seminar?

    Is that asking too much?



  11. T
    July 22, 2010 12:41 pm

    UGH Margie I didn’t notice the nails until you pointed them out..



  12. Cindy T.
    July 22, 2010 1:15 pm

    Maybe the Orie’s should have checked with the Angel Lady about wearing those lovely trenchcoats. It’s freakin summer. It’s 73 at 4:30 in the morning. Lose the coats ladies.



  13. SpudMom
    July 22, 2010 1:24 pm

    Bojack – greased midgets, not dwarves. :P



  14. Bluetail
    July 22, 2010 1:35 pm

    Cindy T.–And they were MATCHING trenchcoats!!! With the belts tied the same way!



  15. bluzdude
    July 22, 2010 1:37 pm

    How bogus would it be to go to all the trouble of contacting the Angels, only to draw one that was still in training, or something?

    Like, “Oh, sorry… I guess he was The One after all. I’m sorry I told you to tell him to piss off.”

    Or, “I’m sorry I told you to answer that Craigslist ad. I was sure he was a solid guy, despite what you could see in the pictures with the farm animals.”



  16. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    July 22, 2010 2:14 pm

    @Noelle — she does.

    I’m actually friends with the poor legislative staffer in the background. When the picture was first used (I think in the PG last year), we had a lot of fun with him. His expression pretty much says it all.



  17. bucdaddy
    July 22, 2010 2:37 pm

    “And then Benny unzipped and took It. Out, and swear to God and all the psychic angels it was THIS BIG!”



  18. Noelle
    July 22, 2010 2:45 pm

    @Ex-Pat – I knew it!!!!! I never noticed that poor soul behind her until you pointed him out.



  19. PicaU
    July 22, 2010 3:38 pm

    But, Ginny, you left out the part that makes it even funnier. The Senator’s lawyer defended it, saying as much:

    “William C. Costopoulos, attorney for Jane Orie, said it is possible that the sisters, facing the stress of a crucial investigation, sought some sort of comfort through prayer or even a medium.”

    “‘They may have, and I don’t fault them for it,’ Mr. Costopoulos said. ‘Whenever the justice system is visited upon good people, it is a very frightening and disturbing life event. I can tell you it doesn’t dissuade me at all from defending them aggressively.'”

    Of course it doesn’t dissuade you from defending them aggressively…it’s a built in insanity defense or appeal.



  20. Sooska
    July 22, 2010 4:38 pm

    Ginny, can I be Gus?



  21. Boones Farm
    July 22, 2010 4:44 pm

    I hope the trial will be very drawn out so we can read Dennis Roddy’s articles for weeks.



  22. unsatisfied
    July 22, 2010 5:17 pm

    that’s hawt.



  23. Claira Udient
    July 22, 2010 7:18 pm

    SHEESH!!!! Didn’t see this coming!!!!!!!



  24. BeauJacques
    July 22, 2010 7:28 pm

    @SpudMom-

    hmmm…….intriguing…….

    care to elaborate on the “greased midgets” angle?

    A new side of you revealed Spuds! :-)

    I was going to toss in Li Lo for good measure, but she’s in jail.



  25. BeauJacques
    July 22, 2010 7:37 pm

    Jeff Reed and Ben doing body shots from Jane’s tummy anyone?



  26. spoon
    July 22, 2010 11:20 pm

    Anyone else notice that the whole Jane Orie and the Angel Reader person sounds like a bad equal to Angels in the Outfield.

    not the original but that Danny Glover abomination from the 90’s



  27. Kate
    July 23, 2010 9:39 am

    Excellent timing with the Psych reference…Shawn introduced Gus as his partner “Santonio Holmes” last night! :)



  28. Greg
    July 23, 2010 9:45 am

    Let’s just call this whole Orie thing what it is: Political retribution for Mike Veon. If the facts come out as reported in the news though, it’s apples and oranges. Both wrong. But Veon… almost 2 mil in bonus on the tax payers… Ories… using the copier and the state car/driver.



  29. Dan (Not Onarato)
    July 23, 2010 10:05 am

    Both of them are a mess…kind of turn my stomach to be honest with you



  30. bucdaddy
    July 23, 2010 10:15 am

    Mrs. Daddy just said she looks like the chick in “Legally Blonde.”



  31. WI Pitt Fan
    July 23, 2010 11:03 am

    Between that hair and those nails, that is one scary looking pic.



  32. Lavender Gooms
    July 23, 2010 11:44 am

    Detective Lassie could’ve had this whole thing over with in an hour. And she looks like a character on My Name is Earl- does she have a trashy southern/yinzer accent? That’s what it sounds like in my head.



  33. HappyBurghtroll
    July 23, 2010 1:28 pm

    Who voted for the Freak?????????

    I sure as hell di’innt!!!!!!!



  34. Eileen
    July 26, 2010 12:53 pm

    Sarah Palin’s future running mate???????? Big hair, empty head!!! Sounds like a match made in heaven.