Call 911

Internet, I have to post on a Sunday because my facebook, twitter and email accounts are going BLLLLLLLLLLLLL with links to this story and if I don’t write about it today, my little hat tip list at the end of this post is going to be longer than the actual post.

First, I love it that when people read pigeon stories, they think of me. As they should.

The story!

Pooping pigeons forced the Kings of Leon to abandon their St. Louis, Missouri, concert after just three songs Friday night, the rock band’s management said Saturday.An infestation of the birds in the rafters of the Verizon Amphitheatre bombarded the musicians as soon as they took the stage, according to Andy Mendelsohn of Vector Management.

Ah, yes. The pesky pigeons in the rafters problem.They do so love rafters. That’s how they brought that bridge in Minnesota down.

The aerial attack began during the opening song — “Closer” — when he was bombed in the face. His bass tech wiped most of it off with a sanitary wipe, he said.

Excrement struck each of his arms over the next two numbers, he said.

“I was hit by pigeons on each of the first three songs,” he said. “We had 20 songs on the set list. By the end of the show, I would have been covered from head to toe.”

People, do you know how many pigeons have to have been up in those rafters to generate that amount of poop?

Pigeons are evil demon knowing bastards, but an individual pigeon can only produce so much shit at one time. A shock and awe aerial assault like this would take planning, strategy, secret meetings with Satan, dry runs, and at least five dozen ninja pigeons with bloodlust and a willingness to die for the cause.

On the third song, when he was hit in the cheek and some of it landed near his mouth, they couldn’t deal any longer.

The cheek. Poop. Pigeon poop. Near the mouth. By the mouth. Next to the mouth. Within an inch of the mouth. Taste buds. Pigeon poop. Mouth.

I think I’m having a seizure.

(h/t Rocky, StateoMain, @squirrelfactor, @MacGirlie, @jeffkupko, @chrislovett, @lifeliberty, @kellydiane, @webchyk, @alizimm, Denise, Just a Simple Man, Jen, Tiffany, Annietiques, CrashJK, Yvette, Jennifer, Melissa B, Michael, and Melissa P)





17 Comments

  1. Cindy T.
    July 25, 2010 12:03 pm

    Totally disgusting thought being bombarded by pigeon poop — and yes I did think of you when I saw the photo in the Post Gazette yesterday (page A-5) of the woman feeding the pigeons from the Florida Journal. They were landing all over her.



  2. Gina
    July 25, 2010 12:33 pm

    That is so disgusting!



  3. Still A Fan
    July 25, 2010 2:13 pm

    flame thrower.

    a big honking flame thrower.

    then, invite the homeless over for a bbq.



  4. Matt
    July 25, 2010 3:00 pm

    Hearing that it was the Kings of Leon, I’m starting to believe that pigeons really may be as smart as you claim they are. Pigeons must have good taste in music to be able to get that band off the stage.



  5. SpudMom
    July 25, 2010 4:46 pm

    This is funny because I was coming here to email this story to you and BAM! Here’s a post on it.

    So, rather than send you the story again, I give you the link to coverage about it on DListed.com – in which he used the same all-knowing-bastard pigeon picture that you did a few posts ago.

    http://dlisted.com/node/38166



  6. annietiques
    July 25, 2010 10:27 pm

    Totally disgusting!!!! Pigeon poop!!!!!!!!!!

    Death to pigeons!!!!!! Varmin!!!



  7. bluzdude
    July 25, 2010 11:18 pm

    They used to have a problem like that at Camden Yards in Baltimore, with pigeons sitting on the scoreboard struts, over the bleachers. They ended up putting these big aluminum pointy spikes on all the horizontal bars. Now if any pigeons dare alight there, they become instant Pigeon Kabobs and get thrown on Boog’s Barbeque.



  8. Trish
    July 26, 2010 6:43 am

    I too must commend the pigeons on their choice of target. Kings of Leon = Jonas Brothers after a couple of light beers.



  9. CrashJK
    July 26, 2010 8:50 am

    here’s hoping the pigeons target Kenny Chesney and Taylor Swift next !!!

    U da best Ginny,

    CrashJK

    LET’S GO PENS



  10. Me
    July 26, 2010 8:54 am

    Other people beat me to it, but I was also going to comment that these pigeons are obviously music critics.



  11. Pensgirl
    July 26, 2010 9:00 am

    I don’t like KoL either but the only people who “deserve” that treatment are terrorists.

    I remember my uncle, whose business is construction-related, telling me how his company was involved in cleaning off the city hall in Philly because the weight of pigeon uh, souvenirs, had gotten so bad that the building would sink into the ground if they did nothing. The workers had to wear Hazmat suits, of course.



  12. LaReina
    July 26, 2010 9:39 am

    Ugh, pigeon poop in the mouth. I’m going to have nightmares.



  13. Carpetbagger
    July 26, 2010 11:25 am

    It couldn’t have been Justin Bieber??



  14. Lizzy
    July 26, 2010 1:22 pm

    Maybe there should have been a warning: PLEASE REFRAIN FROM EATTING WHILE READING THIS – Too late…I was well into my steak hoagie that was dripping with mayo (need I say more) – ugh (barf).

    P.S.
    I have found a secret location of ZIMA!



  15. Julie
    July 26, 2010 2:25 pm

    As soon as I heard about that story, I IMMEDIATELY clicked over here to make sure you’d heard about it!



  16. Michelle m.
    August 7, 2010 10:01 pm

    I JUST discovered your blog and have laughed so hard I could pee myself! Thank you for you….and thank the Lord for pigeons….or I wouldn’t get to read about pigeon hate!