What The Effie

Here’s a real winner in the effiest What The Effie that ever did effie.

Taxidermied Dog WANTED!! ASAP (pittsburgh)

i am looking for a professionally stuffed dog that has been tanned and moth proofed. i would like to have it by the end of august for a wedding present. preferably a big dog, not a purse dog, but beggars cant be choosers. please send pics and asking price. will pick up!
thanks!

Thoughts:

1. Four billion dollars says this request came out of Fayette County.

2. They want a big dog, but God, I hope someone tries to sell him/her a taxidermied chihuahua. What would that even look like? Oh, wait. I found one:

In the name of Jesus Christ, BE GONE!

3. I have wracked racked my brain, put the edge of my glasses in my mouth and gently chewed introspectively, tilted my head quizzically, contemplatively assumed The Thinking Man posture, rubbed my chin thoughtfully, and there was no light bulb. There was no AHA! moment. No eureka. I did not need Mr. Watson to come here. There is no reason I can come up with that a person would want to gift someone else’s taxidermied dog to a couple on their wedding day.

4. Oh, wait! [light bulb!] AHA! Eureka! Watson, come here. I need you!

I got it. [puts on sunglasses] Revenge.

YEAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

(h/t Trisha)





25 Comments

  1. Al Lambrini
    July 29, 2010 10:34 am

    It is prolly for a gag. Like the groom (husband to be) really wants a dog but the his wife to be is putting her foot down on pets (or the other way around) and they they thought it might be funny to show up with a “pet” dog as a present.



  2. displaced burgher
    July 29, 2010 10:37 am

    They’re probably fans of “Scrubs”. Some sort of Rowdy joke.



  3. bluzdude
    July 29, 2010 10:47 am

    Low maintenance home security?



  4. lisa
    July 29, 2010 10:57 am

    that picture gives me the cold shivers. Yeah, Fayette county for sure!



  5. Chris
    July 29, 2010 11:04 am

    I’m not convinced about Fayette County. It seems more like a request from someone in West Virginia.



  6. Burgh Baby
    July 29, 2010 11:07 am

    If ever there was someone who had mastered the art of using Google Image Search for evil, it’s you. URGH!



  7. Monty
    July 29, 2010 11:31 am

    That’s a dream gift. Who among us could honestly say they haven’t fantasized about replacing one of the lions in the Arab Courier exhibit at the Carnegie with Marmaduke?



  8. SpudMom
    July 29, 2010 11:39 am

    Fayette county? Aw hell no. CRAWFORD COUNTY. The two biggest industries up there are taxidermy and fish bread.



  9. Angry Mongo
    July 29, 2010 11:42 am

    Born and raised in Fayette Nam, thank you very much. I can’t believe this wasn’t included on the gift registry at Pechin’s.

    It will be all the buzz of New Haven Hose Fire Hall as people wander by with their second helping of halupkis and rigatonis, trying figure out what could be sitting there, on all fours, wrapped like the dog from Something About Mary. Maybe they can work it into the money dance. HEY HEY HEY! LALA LALA LA… LA… LA.

    If anything, this guy could probably win one at the County Fair or he can get them a 10″ x 10″ Trixter mirror by popping a balloon with a dart. That says classy wedding gift right there, I tell ya what.



  10. Scott
    July 29, 2010 11:46 am

    I would pay $100’s of dollars for that taxidermied chihuahua and place it front and center on all advertising for ScareHouse… for it is one of the most terrifying demons of hell I have ever witnessed. At night it comes to life and feats apon young souls with its sharp and pointy teeth. I cast you out unclean devil dog spirit!



  11. Linda
    July 29, 2010 12:02 pm

    I’m going with what #2 commenter said.



  12. BeauJacques
    July 29, 2010 12:26 pm

    Ya know I’m going to school online to be both an:

    A- Veterinarian

    and

    B- Taxidermist

    My motto is going to be: “Either way, you get your dog back!”



  13. Sooska
    July 29, 2010 1:13 pm

    I’d concur with Fayette, but Westmoreland can’t be left out.

    Roy Rogers the old Tv cowboy(any one ever heard of him?) had his dog Bullet stuffed (and his horse Trigger, too.) They were just up for auction, or will be soon. Bullet was a German Shepherd and was going for $10-15 K. Yeah, yeah…That’s the ticket.



  14. Al Lambrini
    July 29, 2010 1:36 pm

    @ angry mongo Peachins ha! Didn’t that place burn down ?



  15. Scott
    July 29, 2010 2:01 pm

    “I’d concur with Fayette, but Westmoreland can’t be left out.”

    Someone had to say it. Kudos Sooska.



  16. Dan (Not Onarato)
    July 29, 2010 2:08 pm

    I wonder if it was the people what Ginny talked about a few weeks earlier with the blow-up doll as the theft deterent….



  17. Shibori
    July 29, 2010 4:46 pm

    I’m from (and still live in) Fayette. It can’t be from here. Everyone here either already has a preserved pet or knows someone that does.



  18. unsatisfied
    July 29, 2010 5:55 pm

    I’m getting married next month.

    if one of my guests gets us this, I will flat out kick their sorry asses.



  19. Angry Mongo
    July 30, 2010 8:29 am

    @Al Lambrini You are correct, it did. However, they were already moved into the old Laurel Mall off of 119 before the village “burned” down. So, instead of going for a Bros. Pizza or hanging around the abandonned Montgomery Wards store, we now have Pechins in there.



  20. Craig
    July 30, 2010 8:34 am

    Whoever posted that must have a very dark side.



  21. Al Lambrini
    July 30, 2010 9:38 am

    @ Angry Mongo Wow so Dunbar has it going on. Do you ever see Joe Hardy cruising for wives there?



  22. Angry Mongo
    July 30, 2010 9:41 am

    @Al Lambrini hmmm, [holds out hands like scales] Nemacolin Spa or Pechin’s Food Court? I’m going to say… no.



  23. Toad
    July 30, 2010 10:28 am

    @ angry mongo: Pechin’s every time!!!!!