Here she is. Miss Fugmerica.

So, where should we start?

Let’s start with the shoes:

These are sensible shoes. Virgin shoes. Never been kissed shoes.

I’m pretty sure these are Sophia Petrillo’s shoes and that if you click them three times and say, “There’s no place like home,” you wake up in Shady Pines.

Don’t get me started on the pantyhose.

Let’s look at my hands:

Why is there a wedding band on my hand? Why do I look pregnant? How can I look pregnant when I’m wearing my virgin shoes?

How about my hair? Would you like to see my hair?

That was the style back in the day that we dorks were rocking. You would take a curling iron, curl the very front part of your bangs back, then you would take a roll brush and then brush it back into a sexy roll that would frame the top half of your face. If this comes back in style, I would like to take credit for it because I make it look so damn attractive.

That’s virgin hair, for sure.

Would you like to see the whole picture?

WHY?

Fine.

Look how attractive my date looks, which by the way was a HUGE shock when he asked me to this dance, because he was quite popular in the school, and as you can see, I was … not.

I guess to the pale people of Denmark, I was somewhat of a dark, exotic, mysterious, virginal goddess.

Or he thought my mustache was sexy.

Who can know?

After you’re done laughing …

Okay, so we hit the $500 goal, and we march on to $1,000 which would be almost enough to purchase the gaming consoles and games for every child admitted to Children’s Hospital with a cancer diagnosis in one month’s time. That would be awesome. Here’s your sneak peak, which I will tell you that when I saw this picture as my mother and I rifled through a bunch of them tonight, I screamed, “IS THAT AN AFRO ON MY HEAD?! WHY DID YOU LET ME LOOK LIKE THIS?!? WHY DID YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?!?”

You wish you had that sweater in your closet.





27 Comments

  1. Woy
    August 2, 2010 10:09 pm

    Worth every cent!

    And, that’s a HELLUVA lot of poinsettias.



  2. Dan
    August 2, 2010 10:11 pm

    Some fraternities at PITT have ugly sweater parties….just sayin’



  3. SpudMom
    August 2, 2010 10:11 pm

    Don’t feel bad Ginny. From such humble beginnings, a hottie is born (and girl, you’re smokin’.) I have photographic evidence that I at once point could have gone undercover in a FLDS sect and no one would have blinked.



  4. Mikey
    August 2, 2010 10:13 pm

    What a lucky man Rick Astley is!



  5. spoon
    August 2, 2010 10:13 pm

    Now we know why there was a poinsettias shortage



  6. Hollee Temple
    August 2, 2010 10:14 pm

    First, every Burgh girl had that sweater in the 90s (at least in my supercool crowd). Second, you look awesome in your latest shots, so embrace it. Thanks for the memories:)



  7. Rob Cochran
    August 2, 2010 10:28 pm

    Ginny- I forgot about our wonderful date.
    -Love Rob C.

    http://www.sbdc.duq.edu/EGC2005/rob.htm



  8. Dana
    August 2, 2010 10:32 pm

    Sweet baby Jesus.



  9. bluzdude
    August 2, 2010 10:44 pm

    Was that an “X” drawn on the young squire’s cheek, or were those dimples gone awry?

    And you were still adorable, virginal or otherwise.



  10. bucdaddy
    August 2, 2010 10:46 pm

    HAWT!

    I mean, you had a date with DAVID BOWIE!



  11. Pa-pop
    August 2, 2010 10:54 pm

    @Mikey – Rick Astley … LMFAO! Ginny’s photo really rocks if you listen to “Never Gonna Give You Up” in your head.



  12. Brett C
    August 2, 2010 11:15 pm

    You could be Elaine’s stand in on Seinfeld. Sweet fancy moses.



  13. Monty
    August 2, 2010 11:51 pm

    I hate to do this to you again, but we all have one embarrassing doppelganer. Remember, it’s for the kids.

    http://www.lolviral.com/photos/1st-class-mullet/



  14. MM
    August 2, 2010 11:56 pm

    Ha! I totally had the same hair style. Loved VO5 because my hair wouldn’t move-even rode coasters at Kennywood and my hair still didn’t move:)



  15. empirechick
    August 3, 2010 1:16 am

    That’s the look we all were rockin: big hair and pantyhose – nothing could have been cooler. The late 80’s/early 90’s was like woodstock for dorks – it was our prime season!



  16. Brighton Heights Jim
    August 3, 2010 7:40 am

    I’m sooooo glad that the huge eyeglasses fad went away! Well, I guess it’s back “in” for sunglasses, but everyday eyeware should not leave marks in your cheeks!



  17. Matt
    August 3, 2010 8:28 am

    We are contemporaries, you and I. So I remember those hairstyles. Things like that come and go, no big deal. I have to say, the Dane could have done much much worse.



  18. Cassie
    August 3, 2010 9:12 am

    If you in that sexy sweater preview stood next to my mother in law who is fond of those types of sweaters….you both may implode.



  19. unsatisfied
    August 3, 2010 9:33 am

    with those coke bottles, you must have been able to see EVERYTHING.



  20. Biggest Fan
    August 3, 2010 9:34 am

    Given that I was a teenager in late 80s/early 90s, I’d bet almost anything the mohawk involves a banana clip.

    @Rob Cochran (#7). Funniest comment EVER.



  21. Sherri
    August 3, 2010 9:37 am

    I just did a post on my blog of my first day at a new high school – complete with memories of my hair in an ugly ballet bun, my braces with rubber bands, the plaid shirt my mom picked out for me with bows on the sleeves… ugh. Needless to say, I did not EVER even get asked to a school dance, so… you would have looked quite glam to me back in the day :-). Secretly …. don’t you kinda like looking back at these old photos – if only to say… wow – I actually look better in my 30s.



  22. Angry Mongo
    August 3, 2010 9:50 am

    I think Bill Cowher rocked that sweater once.



  23. Ug Lee
    August 3, 2010 12:02 pm

    Best part of this photo is that you can see the edge of the backdrop. Photographer fail.



  24. MattDC
    August 3, 2010 2:03 pm

    He’s smiling because he knows how lucky he is. At least the hair and glasses were cute passing fads. Those of us who went through this in the 70s can’t allow pictures of our sartorial fads (and hair styles) to ever see the light of day. Hell, we’ve even burned all the wedding photos!



  25. Kathy
    August 3, 2010 2:14 pm

    You have a wedding ring, because you were preggers and daddy made you get married. You’re actually quite cute in this pic… not sure about the sweater preview….

    Am I glad that I don’t do challenges for fundraising. I mean, I can mock you now, because I don’t have to show mine.



  26. BeauJacques
    August 3, 2010 2:56 pm

    I, and I think I speak for all straight guys here, :

    I’d hit it! :-)



  27. Dan (Not Onarato)
    August 4, 2010 2:15 pm

    Just read the post and saw the pic…cant believe you went out with Rob Cochran!!!!