That’s one way to deal with rude people.

My eyeballs read these paragraphs on the Trib’s site and immediately turned around in my head all, “Are you seeing this? I mean, we’re seeing this, but, brain, are you comprehending this?!”

This is what made my eyeballs lose their figurative shit this morning:

Carla Ferrell of Clarksburg, W.Va., was visiting a friend who is a patient at Allegheny General Hospital in the North Side. Like Copley and Black, Ferrell sat in traffic on the detour route for about an hour.

“It’s unbelievable. Drivers here are very rude, too. Very rude,” said Ferrell, who added that during the detour, she brandished a pistol at other drivers who attempted to cut in front of her.

From 44,000 to 55,000 vehicles a day use the tunnel on weekends.

What the WHAT?

And no, I didn’t cut a paragraph out. The Trib actually went from informing us some woman from West Virginia was brandishing a gun at people who “attempted to cut in front of her,” to, “From 44,000 to 55,000 vehicles …”

Where’s the paragraph that explains that it was a fake gun, maybe? Or that brandishing a pistol just because you don’t want anyone entering traffic in front of your car is absolutely bonkers? And that the police were called?

Lady. Carla Ferrell from West Vir-freaking-ginia (my nickname, by the way. “VIR-FREAKING-GINIA!”). I got some things to say to you.

1. I don’t know the traffic rules and laws in West Vir-freaking-ginia where people might keep gun racks in their cars, but here in Pennsylvania, what you did was wrong.

2. Learn to merge without getting pissy about it and if someone did try to get in front of your car and you felt they were in the wrong about it, do what I do … say, “Serenity now.” Wave them in, hope they feel guilty (they probably don’t), and rest assured the kindness will eventually return to you riding on the back of a Karma Boomerang all, “Yeeeeee-haw!” I don’t know what kind of karma you’re going to get for what you did, but I don’t want to be near you when it finds and smokes your ass.

3. I would suggest that responding to “rude” drivers by showing them a pistol, trumps their rudeness. It trumps it so hard it erases it, because they may be rude, but you are a dangerous batshit crazy lunatic loco nutjob. Yes, the redundancy was necessary. And yes, it might be rude of me to call you those names, but once again, your pistol-waving nuttiness trumps my rudeness. Bravo.

4. Go home and don’t ever come back here again. I drive these roads with my kids and one time David Conrad (holla!), and the last thing I need in this life is to have me or one of my family members or friends be the victim of your errant gunfire when your gun accidentally goes off or when you get just pissed enough to do something about it. Seriously. I mean this.

I hope your friend gets well, but as for you, Carla Ferrell, you’re not welcome anymore.

(h/t PK)





30 Comments

  1. Rachel
    August 2, 2010 8:51 am

    Speaking as someone who learned to drive in Southern West Virginia, a pistol is NOT considered required equipment in your vehicle.

    I bet she’s originally from Kentucky.



  2. pghsciencenerd
    August 2, 2010 8:57 am

    I wonder if this is the same West Virginia Crazy Cellphone Lady that disrupted the flow of traffic on the detour yesterday. All was flowing very nicely at a merge area, with everyone following the “each one let one” merging during very slow, long traffic backups (special thanks to everyone who was super polite during this nasty nasty mess). With everyone moving at 5 mph, I had just enough room to slowly proceed, However, WV Crazy Cellphone Lady decided that she was too special for being nice and gunned it straight at my car as I was merging. I had to slam on the brakes to stop in time. Surprise, surprise, she was ON THE PHONE AND TOO BUSY TO LET SOMEONE MERGE. TRAFFIC BE DAMNED.

    And, Carla Crazyface, I hope that the PA State Police now have all of your personal information ready to go and will be looking for you on the Parkway. Sure hope that gun’s registered and you have a carry permit. Also, I just noticed that you informed ALL CRIMINALS LOOKING TO STEAL A GUN that YOU, CARLA FERRELL of West Virginia has a very nice gun just waiting for them to take in your car.



  3. Magnus Patris
    August 2, 2010 9:04 am

    Wow, I thought I left that stuff behind when I moved back from the D.C. area! At least we don’t have to worry about cars with diplomatic plates here. You never mess with a car with diplomatic plates in D.C. because they’ll just freakin’ ram you or kill you, and they’re all “diplomatic immunity, you can’t do shit to me!”

    Carla needs to chill out and have a piece of pie.



  4. LaReina
    August 2, 2010 9:11 am

    Here in West Virginia, a driver who waves a pistol or any other firearm at another driver may be charged with a crime. Ms. Ferrell’s behavior is not looked upon with favor in West Virginia. This isn’t East L.A., after all.



  5. Magnus Patris
    August 2, 2010 9:12 am

    From witness descriptions, a composite photo of what Ms. Ferrell might look like has been released by police: http://bit.ly/d3BXaF
    Citizens beware!



  6. Burgher Jon
    August 2, 2010 9:21 am

    Given the Trib’s opinion on hand guns (http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/dailycourier/editorial/s_688329.html), maybe they’re making a statement about how legal it is to carry a weapon in your car. You know, for self-defense against a tyrannical state and deer and jerks.



  7. DG
    August 2, 2010 9:29 am

    “Batshit crazy” may be my favorite descriptive of all time.



  8. spoon
    August 2, 2010 9:29 am

    If you’re going to do something this stupid AND give the paper your name/city you might wanna make sure that Google doesn’t have all of your contact information online. Just sayin…



  9. Cassie
    August 2, 2010 9:48 am

    OK, so this is a tad off subject, but does it not freak anyone out that she was carrying a gun and probably brought it with her into the hospital? (I mean, if someone stole MY gun from MY car, I’d be a tad pissed. Being as I carry so many hand guns around…) There are no metal detectors there. People can come and go as they please carrying whatever weapon they choose. So say she truly is as batshit crazy as we are assuming, imagine if a doctor or nurse or housekeeper pissed her off. Could you imagine then? We’d have a dramatic episode of ER going on here.

    This chick is certifiably insane!

    Oh and props to Magnus. That was flipping hillarious!



  10. Al Lambrini
    August 2, 2010 9:53 am

    Holy Schnikes! At major merge points in this city have evolved over the years to a pretty decent each one let one flow c (see ft duqeusne blv on ramp to the ft pitt bride at rush hour) The only time I ever see it screwed up is when some clown from WVa or Ohio refuses to play along



  11. Monty
    August 2, 2010 9:58 am

    Perhaps there was a miscommunication with the Trib and she was actually brandishing a pistil. I, for one, would pretty much let anyone cut in front of me if they showed me their ovaries, even ones from a flower.



  12. amy
    August 2, 2010 10:03 am

    Ok, this lady is clearly looney. I just HATE that she is from WV, though. It’s people like this that give WV natives living in Pgh a bad name. I drive the parkway every day, commuting back and forth from WVU, only to wait in the heinus traffic that is the Parkway West Tunnel Slowdown Nightmare. I have a WV license plate and know how to merge. I’m also not afraid of the dark, scary tunnel and would love to be able to drive through it at over 25 miles/hr every once in awhile. No pistols in my car and even in WV, we would consider that to be batshit crazy. I may scream at the top of my lungs at other drivers, but the only thing I’ve ever waived is the “thumbs up” sign. Sarcastically, of course. So please, don’t lump the entire population of your neighbors to the south into one big pistol-packin’ state o’ crazy.



  13. Sherri
    August 2, 2010 10:11 am

    Yeah – speechless. It’s one of those things that you read and think – is that a joke? a mistake? So … we are rude drivers here in Pitt…. which means…. brandishing a pistol is fine…. Wait… or we should go get pistols – show them to drivers as a warning but remain polite… Um… right?



  14. SpudMom
    August 2, 2010 10:16 am

    This lady is certifiable. If she thinks Pittsburgh drivers are rude she should go visit MI sometime. I grew up north of Detroit – where driving is a martial art. The first time I visited the ‘Burgh, I couldn’t believe how nice and courteous the drivers were. It was a breath of fresh air!



  15. Anna~
    August 2, 2010 10:27 am

    OK, so none of the recipients of the pistol-brandishing had the common sense to use their cellphones to call 911? THAT is insane; I find it hard to believe that no one reported her. And where did this reporter happen to catch up with her, was he walking car-to-car interviewing people?



  16. Al
    August 2, 2010 10:52 am

    Leave it to the Trib to perpetuate stereotypes. The lone motorist quoted from West Virginia (I highly doubt she was the only person sitting in traffic with WV plates) doesn’t just have a pistol, she is “brandishing” it. Hyperbole, much?



  17. Gina
    August 2, 2010 10:53 am

    Why is this not in the police blotter?

    This makes me stabity.



  18. Marcy
    August 2, 2010 11:04 am

    @Cassie – believe it or not, AGH has metal detectors. Not at every entrance, but they are there…



  19. Cassie
    August 2, 2010 11:38 am

    @Marcy, I wish all did.



  20. Jackson11
    August 2, 2010 11:44 am

    Another piece of quality journalism.



  21. Pa-pop
    August 2, 2010 11:49 am

    Apparently in the Trib’s view, a cranky motorist brandishing a hand gun is a non-story simply because the publisher and editorial board think that’s the way life oughtta be…



  22. BeauJacques
    August 2, 2010 11:51 am

    Granny cuts me off, I’ll choke a bitch! :-)



  23. Sooska
    August 2, 2010 12:00 pm

    nah. she’s from Philadelphia, not West-BY-GOD-Virgina.
    Guns for everyone! WOOOOOO!!!



  24. LaReina
    August 2, 2010 4:35 pm

    I have a concealed carry permit. It doesn’t mean I wave a gun around – even if I happen to have it with me in the car or when I’m visiting a hospital. Guns are the not the enemy, folks. Stupid people are.



  25. BradyQuinnsTeeth
    August 2, 2010 9:47 pm

    Nuttier than squirrel shit



  26. VAgirl
    August 2, 2010 10:32 pm

    What a nut, if she thinks people here are rude, never ever drive the DC beltway or Hampton Roads. Lived at both and Pittsburghers are no way near as rude as them. Chill out Carla and put the gun away. If you cannot be a responsible gun owner then somebody please take it away from her. Brandishing firearms so as to threaten people to not merge/cut, sounds like good ol road rage.



  27. bucdaddy
    August 2, 2010 10:52 pm

    A pistol? Meh. That’s what our wimmenfolk carry, .45s and lame shit like at ere. Our menfolk brandish double-barrel shotguns, honey, so: DO. NOT. CUT. THEM. OFF.

    Sheesh, what’s so hard about that?



  28. bucdaddy
    August 2, 2010 10:55 pm

    Also, how, exactly, does one interview motorists sitting in traffic? Walk along the side of a MAJOR F-ING HIGHWAY (which I believe is illegal) and knock on windows and hope you find one driver waving a pistol around? 3,000-4,000 vehicles in line, spewing enough exhaust fumes to kill a bull elephant? and the reporter just HAPPENS to find this one?

    I smell shenanigans.



  29. unsatisfied
    August 3, 2010 9:37 am

    she should hope that the person to whom she is flashing her gat doesn’t have a gat of their own.

    ooooh, that sounds dirrrty!



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    August 25, 2011 12:25 pm

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