1. Yes, if you scroll down, the fuggity picture is there in all of its poinsettial velveteen glory.
We are VERY close to the $1,000 mark, which will unveil the entire picture of me in that hideous green sweater and what can only be described as an afro.
Glasses and mustache are a guarantee at this point.
Also, I think Poinsettial Velveteen Glory would make a great church band name.
2. The Penguins have apparently ignored my idea of MomDorks on Ice and instead are going with SUPER HOT SKINNY GIRLS WHO CAN’T SKATE ON ICE.
Go over to Pensblog to check out what they’re billing as, “The GIF Heard ‘Round the World” to see one of those hotties in action.
Pretty sure she swallowed her chin.
3. A little joke you may have heard already, but it was new to me:
I met a fairy today who said she would grant me one wish.
“I want to live forever,” I said.
“Sorry,” said the fairy, “I can’t grant wishes like that.”
I said, “Okay, I want to die when the Pirates have a winning season.”
Love it. Also, whenever I read the phrase “live forever,” I immediately get that song from Fame! stuck in my head.
“I’m gonna learn how to fly …”
And there’s the jazz hands. Damn it.
4. A woman got high, went batshit crazy at her friend’s house in Canonsburg, got naked, and well:
Pihiou told police that Varner called him and asked him to pick her up in Washington. He took her to his home. She then started “acting funny” and took off all her clothes, Pihiou reported to police.
Tenny asked Varner to put on some clothes. Varner got up and walked to the kitchen. Pihiou told police, “I bet she throws herself down the steps.”
Police said Varner then threw herself down the basement steps, head-first. Pihiou told police that she had done that in the past at the home of another friend.
You know what this is? This is a public service commercial in the making.
Kids, this is your brain.
This is your brain on drugs after you’ve thrown your naked self head-first down a flight of stairs.
5. A seriously hot and chic Burgher Terra, who writes Stylish White Female, is in the running for a bit part in Mad Men via a contest that literally takes one second to vote. I mean, you just have to click the vote button. That’s it.
Here she is as herself:
6. Pittsburgh English has a Wiki page! I wasn’t aware.
Check this out:
Also, I like the word “nebshit.” I’m going to start using that.
7. I swear it wasn’t me. It was clearly another nebshit.
Did I use that right?
(h/t Gary Jama)