Gerbil vs. Puma vs. Cheetah

So, can we talk about Daniel Sepulveda (STEP OFF!) for a minute?

First, I’d like to pause for a moment so we can all think about how hot Daniel Sepulveda is.

[sigh]

Let’s give it another minute.

[smolder]

And another.

[swoon]

Remember this post from last year when Skippy Skeeve displayed how a gerbil PRETENDS to want to catch a puma when in fact the gerbil is AVOIDING the puma?

Here are the pictures of Jeff Reed (the gerbil) “tackling” the puma:

In that post, I said this:

So, reader carpetbagger has an idea and that is this, why doesn’t Daniel Sepulvedanomnom kick off?

Can you guys answer that for me?  Is a punter incapable/not allowed to handle kickoffs?

Anything would be better than this sexed-up gerbil, considering how dismal our special teams are at not letting the runner get as far as the kicker.

Well, wish granted, Burghers, because in case you haven’t noticed, Coach Tomlin has given Daniel Sepulveda a crack at being a kickoff kicker and not just a punter.

And here we have a cheetah taking down a puma.

Mmmrowr.

Did you guys see that tackle live? Did you see Daniel shake off that Giant like it was a fly on his shoulder? Did you lick your television screen?!

Dear Coach Tomlin, please put the sex-crazed gerbil in its little spinny wheel and unleash the cheetah.

Did I say “mmrowr” yet? Mmmrowr.





23 Comments

  1. Noelle
    August 26, 2010 9:42 am

    I has GOT to be painful to have your junk grabbed like that.



  2. Di
    August 26, 2010 10:38 am

    @Noelle: Exactly what I was thinking!
    RE: Sepulveda, double mmrowr!



  3. big chuck
    August 26, 2010 10:40 am

    sepulvada is a huge upgrade on kickoffs, its like having another tackler out there



  4. Lauren
    August 26, 2010 10:43 am

    And again. MMMMWROWR.



  5. L-A
    August 26, 2010 10:44 am

    yeah, if there were any question as to whether skippy or nomnom should kick off, that brush-off of the blocker and tackle of the runner sealed the deal. badass.



  6. Butcher's Dog
    August 26, 2010 10:49 am

    Can any of us imagine what watching a game live with Ginny would be like? Ice down a case of Zima, ship the kids out to the grandparents, turn on the big screen, and break out the gas mask/oxygen tent, ’cause the estrogen cloud would make breathing impossible.

    @big chuck: it’s not having another tackler out there. It’s actually having 11 football players out there. For a change. Let’s hope it stays that way through the entire season.



  7. Monty
    August 26, 2010 12:24 pm

    You could tackle Schlongtonio using that technique from six yards away.



  8. DanW
    August 26, 2010 1:53 pm

    Not only did he shake off the blocker to make the crotch tackle, but he was being held so badly by said blocker (no flag) that his shoulder pad came out of his jersey on one side. Too bad for Ginny that the era of tear-away jerseys is over.



  9. bluzdude
    August 26, 2010 3:08 pm

    I saw the tackle and was also hollering for a holding penalty. Just practicing for the regular season and every time Harrison tries to go around end.

    Sepulveda’s kicking didn’t look any worse than Skippy’s, so why not have one more potential tackler?

    Who knew the Carpetbagger was wired into Coach Tomlin?



  10. John Tolley
    August 26, 2010 3:09 pm

    It is a no brainer ! The guy was a linebacker/punter in college.



  11. Legallypgh(Kathy)
    August 26, 2010 3:21 pm

    But then we might have to hear Skippy whine about how “unfair” life is…..



  12. No One On Here Knows Football
    August 26, 2010 3:23 pm

    Having a better tackling kicker out there is pointless. If you fix the coverage units you wouldn’t need to worry about how well your kicker can tackle.

    Sepulveda didn’t make that impressive of a move shedding that Giants blocker, the dude barely had a hand on him.

    I’m all for Sepulveda kicking off, but not because he’s a “better tackler” that’s retarded.



  13. empirechick
    August 26, 2010 3:54 pm

    Let’s say we don’t fix the coverage units – wouldn’t it be better to have the ‘last line of defense’ be someone who won’t run in the opposite direction?

    And also, Skippy’s kickoffs stink. An extra 15 or 20 yds of distance will make a huge difference to the coverage teams.



  14. Jagoff
    August 26, 2010 4:11 pm

    God I hope we trade Sepulveda.



  15. Jesus...
    August 26, 2010 4:28 pm

    …why don’t you just put a DTF sticker on, head to the nearest South Side porta potty, and wait for Daniel to ‘punt’ you?



  16. Noelle
    August 26, 2010 8:19 pm

    Wait one cotton picking minute here, there is such a thing as “tear-away jerseys”? BRING IT.



  17. Beth
    August 26, 2010 9:31 pm

    Off topic, but I was reading through the comments on that previous post you linked above, and I just wanted to say God bless you for blocking Scott R. Priester.



  18. No One On Here Knows Football
    August 26, 2010 9:46 pm

    @empirechick

    Sepulveda’s kickoffs weren’t much better. He has the same problem as Reed, he doesn’t kick the ball high enough.

    There isn’t enough time for the coverage units to get downfield. The returner catches it and has 5-10 yards to work with before anyone is there.

    Sepulveda demonstrated the same thing kicking off in New York. His punts were outstanding, but his kick offs were not much better than Reed’s.



  19. empirechick
    August 26, 2010 11:40 pm

    @No One…

    I’m still willing to give Sepulveda a chance. It’s not like we’re wasting a roster spot on him – he’s on the team regardless. And I’d think chances are good that he will improve; his kicks aren’t high enough right now, but I’d venture to guess that he never really worked on them.

    And even if his kicks end up to be about the same as Reed’s, I’d rather have someone in there who will at least try to make a tackle.

    Aside from Pouncey starting at center, this is my favorite thing about preseason so far.



  20. No One On Here Knows Football
    August 27, 2010 11:18 am

    I’m all for giving Sepulveda the chance.

    It’s just stupid to hear so many people clamoring for him because OMGHEMADEATACKLE!

    Sepulveda is a former linebacker, but he’s still a punter. He doesn’t tackle all that well, better than Reed sure. But if you’re relying on your kicker to make tackles your whole coverage unit has already fail.

    Let’s fix that part and not worry about whether or not our kicker can tackle.



  21. empirechick
    August 27, 2010 12:33 pm

    You did notice that this isn’t a football blog, right? It’s not even a sports blog. It’s about whatever Ginny wants to talk about.

    Sometimes that does involve sports, but I’ve never heard her claim to be an expert on them. Nor have any of the commenters, so far as I can tell. (Here’s a hint: when the comment contains ‘nomnom’ or ‘MMMMWROWR’, you can be fairly certain something other than pure football knowledge is in play.)

    And if it’s football knowledge you’re looking for, there are lots of other blogs to find it.



  22. T. Bone
    August 28, 2010 5:22 pm

    Check out this hit when he was at Baylor!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FhCgLeuO0I