Good news.

You guys. It’s going to be okay.

Ben found Jesus.

I know I’m being flippant, and I probably shouldn’t, but Benny brings out the flippancy in me. Gosh. Is flippancy the right word there or would that be better in a sentence about dolphins?

Either way, Benny has found the Lord and he opened up to the Trib about it.

As Ben Roethlisberger’s charmed life appeared to be crashing down around him, following a second accusation of sexual assault, he turned to his Bible.

“The first thing I read, the very first thing, was about the shepherd who loses one sheep. He goes out, finds it and leaves his whole flock and goes to find it,” the Steelers’ quarterback said Tuesday. “And that’s so true.”

The portion of the Bible Benny refers to says this:

I tell you that even so there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents, than over ninety-nine righteous people who need no repentance.

So, touche to Benny for pulling that one out of his … man, I really want to use the word ass here, but it seems wrong while I’ve just quoted the Bible. But whatever.

Touche, Benny. Well played.

I’m not going to even venture to give an opinion on this interview, because it seems wrong to question whether someone’s new found religion is genuine or not, but I will say this, I have been informed over the last two months by four different people that Benny has been going to church regularly.

Later in the interview, the Trib asks:

You have the chance to write one of the greatest redemption stories of all time. Do you ever think about that?

OMG, Trib. Hyperbole much?!

Yes, the greatest redemption story of all time will be about the jerky NFL quarterback who partied too hard, and maybe sexually assaulted a girl or two but was never charged, and who went on to win some football fans back.

I bet that story will be in the Bible 2.0 as soon as God gets around to writing it.

The Parable of The Lost Quarterback, they’ll call it.

It will appear right after The Parable of the Golfer Who Learned to Keep it in his Pants, but before the Parable of the Quarterback Who Killed Dogs For Sport and two books after The Parable of the Well-Endowed Wide Receiver Who Tweeted Too Much.


  1. Church lady
    September 7, 2010 11:05 am

    Matthew 23:27-28 (New International Version)

    27″Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean. 28In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.

  2. NewBurgher
    September 7, 2010 1:25 pm

    Amen @Church lady — you’re so right and someone should read this to Ben. How much more would he appear sincere, if other people started reporting about him going to church again, and how he’s starting charities for the poor, and going on missions to Haiti or other impoverished places …. wouldn’t we be all like “wow how cool that Ben found Jesus again huh?” … but that’s not what he did. He treated it like another PR move. He’s lauding his Christianity all over the place “look at me …, um, where is the next reporter I had lined up?”

    Real faith shows itself in deeds – not words. Which is why just maybe, you might allow us all a bit of skepticism. He made it public, and so it shall be judged publicly.

  3. Church lady
    September 7, 2010 3:10 pm

    I meant that quote for the ones who are judging Ben.

  4. NewBurgher
    September 7, 2010 4:03 pm

    @Church lady — yah, I know. lol I’m sorry it went over your head.

    My point was (recap) Ben is acting more like the “whitewashed tomb” right now. “Look at me, I’m a Christian again.” So it’s more apt to be read to him, then to us. No one here ever said “we’re perfect, and he’s bad” … nope. We just question his sincerity. And for good reasons.

    But like I said before, I’d be happy if he proved me wrong. He doesn’t need church, he needs conversion. The real kind, where Christ reaches into your chest, and molds your heart into a new creation. And that kind of conversion will only be evident by his works from here on out, not some words he tells the press.

  5. Monty
    September 7, 2010 4:24 pm

    @ Church Lady:

    Don’t judge men’s wealth or godliness by their Sunday appearance.

    — Ben Franklin

  6. Church lady
    September 7, 2010 11:38 pm

    Matthew 7:1-5 (New International Version)

    Matthew 7

    Judging Others

    1″Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
    3″Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

  7. Church lady
    September 7, 2010 11:42 pm

    8If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

  8. BeauJacques
    September 8, 2010 5:26 am


    Hey Churchlady-

    How about pouring some bacon grease on, and then burning a few copies of the Koran, and posting it on YouTube???

    You know, something useful!!!!

  9. Monty
    September 8, 2010 9:16 am

    ChurchLady — This is like dueling banjos.

    The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be. — Socrates

    Here’s to hoping he can get there.

  10. Pa-pop
    September 8, 2010 10:00 am

    @Monty — At first I thought you said dueling bajingos.

  11. red pen mama
    September 8, 2010 12:09 pm

    I just had to throw this on the fire.

    Gospel of Matthew chapter 6, verses 5-6:

    “When thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

    “But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”

    I think I’m with Monty and NewBurgher on this one. It’s not what Ben says; it’s what he does. So I’ll sit back and wait to see.