It’s not every day I give you ladies the information you need to stalk one of my very own self-united husbands, but today, I’m feeling generous.
I already told you that you can stalk David Conrad for free at the Jazz Poetry event on Sampsonia Way, and today, I’m here to tell you where you can stalk my most recent acquisition, True Blood‘s Joe Manganiello.
First, an aside. I get comments from time to time from trolls who have a problem that I have imaginary self-united husbands, because I am married to a flesh and blood husband. One going so far as to say, “I feel sorry for your children.”
You see, apparently, a ring on your finger is supposed to stop you from admiring beauty in the opposite sex. Because, don’t you know, when men get married they also become blind to hotness in women other than their wives. It’s true. They can’t see it. They see Gisele Bundchen and they’re all, “What monstrosity is this?! What hideous beast hast thou set before my eyes?! Away with it! Away with this grotesqueness and bring me my WIFE!”
Regardless, just this week, this comment came in from a reader who has a history of leaving trollish remarks on my site under different names but one IP address, and therefore his ass is banned because this one went a bit too far:
I guess not, but does it also need to have someone that may have seen the error of his ways and look for forgiveness to be constantly ripped by a deaf blogger that has to have her own ‘husbands’ to give her satisfaction she can’t get from her fat assed real one?
Whoa. I asked my self-united husbands what they thought about this comment:
David: Forsooth, oh, no he di’int!
Matt: I’d like to ram a Diplodocus bone up his —
Daniel: Isn’t he the guy who called you Jory Rand with tits and who wrote the comment about me “punting” you?
Daniel: I’m going to pray for that guy. And then I’m going to punt him. God wants me to. It’s in Malachi.
Joe: If I show you my abs, can I rip his head off?
Me: Temp –. [blink] Perhaps.
Me: Off with the head.
Now, if you’d like to stalk Joe, you’ll need to get some tickets to the Steelers/Jets game in December!
“I’m going to the Jets game at home in December,” he told AccessHollywood.com of securing passes to cheer on his hometown team – The Steelers – in the highly anticipated match-up. “I’m gonna get a tour of Heinz Field as well. I’ve made it now!” he said with a laugh.
So if there’s one game I go to this year, this might be the one! I hope they let me take my Stalk-O-Meter into Heinz Field.
Also, my real life husband? Hot. Like hellfire.