Giving Blood 101: Bow chicka bow

So you’ve already heard the story, but we have got to talk about this, friends!

Norwin High School seniors who were expecting a presentation from a Central Blood Bank rep got a surprise Friday when they saw pornography instead. Channel 4 Action News’ Bob Mayo reported that the Norwin School District sent parents a letter. It said “a few pornographic pictures that were on the representative’s flash drive were briefly viewed” while preparations were being made to show the students a PowerPoint presentation.

Bob Mayo talked to a few students, who said the CBB rep was mortified by what happened, and that the images were mostly of male frontal nudity. You know. Penises.

Student Ethan Dobranski described the sexually explicit images as “frontal male nudity, and there was one with, like, two people in there, but it was, like, from the back.”

Heh.

Sorry. I shouldn’t laugh at this story. Going to serious it up here.

And how I’m going to serious it up is to tell you have some of the parents of these teens LAWYERED UP THE VERY AFTERNOON IT HAPPENED.

“It was hardcore male pornography that was put up on the screen when the flash drive was put in. They tell me it lasted about 30 seconds, which is a long time,” said attorney Peter J. Payne, who has been hired by parents of several students who attended the presentation. Payne said he will be pursuing some form of civil action against Central Blood Bank.

Thoughts!

1. So either it was as the students said and it was pictures of penises, or it was as the lawyer said, and it was HARDCORE MALE PORNOGRAPHY.

Now, I’m not going to lie. I assumed “hardcore” male pornography was, well, YOU KNOW.

I didn’t think it was just penis pictures. However, I could be wrong and there is NO WAY ON THIS EARTH that I am Googling it to find out because I will have to sift through approximately 5 million porn sites to find the answer and then I’ll click on one that I think is safe and it will chew my computer up and spit it out all virus-riddled. No thank you.

I’ll let you be my Google and you can tell me if I’m wrong.

2. When I was in high school, this exact high school by the way (I was a dork {you’ve seen the pictures} and I was recording secretary of SADD. Winner.), and if we had an assembly and this had happened, I can tell you I would have been shocked, because I was a pilgrim basically — three degrees from being Amish.

I would have laughed about it with my friends to stop myself from slipping even further down the cool register, while being internally shocked, then I would have gone home and told my mother and father, and my parents would have called the school to determine what had happened and then my mother would have sat me down to have a talk about what I had seen and I would have been all, “Um. Ew?” They wouldn’t have ever thought to sue unless I said, “And then, the man put on a giant penis costume and started singing a song about premature something or other and then made us all touch him while he moaned pleasurably.”

Insert screeching sound as we fast forward to 2010 and the age of Internet and sexting and condoms in the nurse’s office and statistics showing that half of high school seniors have had sex, well, I’m guessing there weren’t too many people in that room who were aghast. Not that that makes okay what happened, I’m just saying, let’s not fool ourselves into thinking that high school seniors these days are like the Amish seniors of the olden days.

GET OFF MY FARM; I GOT COWS TO MILK.

3. I’m most upset not at the fact that this happened, but that some parents apparently plan to sue the CENTRAL BLOOD BANK. Yeah, it happened. No, it shouldn’t have. Yes, the employee deserved to be suspended. Yes, the parents are owed an apology, one they have already received. But to go so far as to sue an organization whose role it is to acquire blood to save lives, because one of their employees made a mistake that didn’t even involve actual blood? Just, no. Not okay.

Seriously, parents. It sucks that it happened. Go talk to your kids. Make sure they aren’t scarred for life by what they saw. I’d venture to guess they aren’t. I can pretty much guarantee that many of these kids didn’t see anything they haven’t already seen. I can pretty much guarantee that if you said to them, “Have you ever seen Santonio Holmes’ penis?” they would say, even the Amish among them, “HAVE I EVER! YOU CAN SEE IT FROM THE MOON, MA!”

Gosh, it’s a great day when I can work a Giant Freshly Showered Penis joke into my blog.

God bless America, am I right?





61 Comments


  1. Sooska
    September 15, 2010 8:46 pm

    The one interview with a student that I saw was something like “I’m not gonna lie. It was funny. It was over in a few seconds. Everyone laughed.”



  2. MM
    September 15, 2010 9:09 pm

    I would imagine that there was already a policy in place re: technology for the rep, but if the CBB is behind the times and doesn’t they will soon:)

    I get VERY frustrated on a daily basis on the downfall of society. Everything is always “your” or “their” fault and not there own. My father worked 2 jobs so my Mom wouldn’t have to work while we were young so they wouldn’t need any “assistance” for the government now you have people having kids so they don’t have to work and get that “assistance”. FRUSTRATING!



  3. Lisa
    September 15, 2010 9:22 pm

    LOL@ #50
    Don’t forget the other partner, Dick Stiffey.



  4. bucdaddy
    September 15, 2010 10:07 pm

    Has ANYone seen Mike Hunt?



  5. PJ
    September 15, 2010 10:09 pm

    Norwin is just trying to catch up to Penn Trafford`s Post Prom Porn of 2003.



  6. PK
    September 15, 2010 10:27 pm

    @Monty, Dan et al…I went to school with Peter Payne and I can so picture him going after this lawsuit. He had a hankerin’ for Caddies after all.



  7. Jesse
    September 16, 2010 12:25 am

    As an alum of Norwin – I think this is funny. It’s a great way to mark your senior year! Guarantee this will be all over everybody’s yearbooks in the “autographs” section.

    But seriously people – gay sex is no secret – even to 17 and 18 year old high school students. Let’s put it this way – if those parents that are suing could listen in on some of their kids’ conversations in the halls and in the bathrooms of the school – they’d probably be astounded as to what their kids already know, already see, and already do.

    Get over it!



  8. Jesse
    September 16, 2010 12:27 am

    OH… Ginny – You went to Norwin?! That’s so cool! Small world!



  9. Colleen
    September 19, 2010 8:58 pm

    I also went to this high school a few years ago.



  10. Colleen
    September 19, 2010 9:03 pm

    Ooops I put my website wrong on the last comment.



  11. Ethan Dobranski
    April 21, 2011 6:28 pm

    you see my name in there Ethan Dobranski. hahahaa that was my 15 mins of fame. loved every minute of it. one of the most memorable things of my senior year hahaahaa