Giving Blood 101: Bow chicka bow

So you’ve already heard the story, but we have got to talk about this, friends!

Norwin High School seniors who were expecting a presentation from a Central Blood Bank rep got a surprise Friday when they saw pornography instead. Channel 4 Action News’ Bob Mayo reported that the Norwin School District sent parents a letter. It said “a few pornographic pictures that were on the representative’s flash drive were briefly viewed” while preparations were being made to show the students a PowerPoint presentation.

Bob Mayo talked to a few students, who said the CBB rep was mortified by what happened, and that the images were mostly of male frontal nudity. You know. Penises.

Student Ethan Dobranski described the sexually explicit images as “frontal male nudity, and there was one with, like, two people in there, but it was, like, from the back.”

Heh.

Sorry. I shouldn’t laugh at this story. Going to serious it up here.

And how I’m going to serious it up is to tell you have some of the parents of these teens LAWYERED UP THE VERY AFTERNOON IT HAPPENED.

“It was hardcore male pornography that was put up on the screen when the flash drive was put in. They tell me it lasted about 30 seconds, which is a long time,” said attorney Peter J. Payne, who has been hired by parents of several students who attended the presentation. Payne said he will be pursuing some form of civil action against Central Blood Bank.

Thoughts!

1. So either it was as the students said and it was pictures of penises, or it was as the lawyer said, and it was HARDCORE MALE PORNOGRAPHY.

Now, I’m not going to lie. I assumed “hardcore” male pornography was, well, YOU KNOW.

I didn’t think it was just penis pictures. However, I could be wrong and there is NO WAY ON THIS EARTH that I am Googling it to find out because I will have to sift through approximately 5 million porn sites to find the answer and then I’ll click on one that I think is safe and it will chew my computer up and spit it out all virus-riddled. No thank you.

I’ll let you be my Google and you can tell me if I’m wrong.

2. When I was in high school, this exact high school by the way (I was a dork {you’ve seen the pictures} and I was recording secretary of SADD. Winner.), and if we had an assembly and this had happened, I can tell you I would have been shocked, because I was a pilgrim basically — three degrees from being Amish.

I would have laughed about it with my friends to stop myself from slipping even further down the cool register, while being internally shocked, then I would have gone home and told my mother and father, and my parents would have called the school to determine what had happened and then my mother would have sat me down to have a talk about what I had seen and I would have been all, “Um. Ew?” They wouldn’t have ever thought to sue unless I said, “And then, the man put on a giant penis costume and started singing a song about premature something or other and then made us all touch him while he moaned pleasurably.”

Insert screeching sound as we fast forward to 2010 and the age of Internet and sexting and condoms in the nurse’s office and statistics showing that half of high school seniors have had sex, well, I’m guessing there weren’t too many people in that room who were aghast. Not that that makes okay what happened, I’m just saying, let’s not fool ourselves into thinking that high school seniors these days are like the Amish seniors of the olden days.

GET OFF MY FARM; I GOT COWS TO MILK.

3. I’m most upset not at the fact that this happened, but that some parents apparently plan to sue the CENTRAL BLOOD BANK. Yeah, it happened. No, it shouldn’t have. Yes, the employee deserved to be suspended. Yes, the parents are owed an apology, one they have already received. But to go so far as to sue an organization whose role it is to acquire blood to save lives, because one of their employees made a mistake that didn’t even involve actual blood? Just, no. Not okay.

Seriously, parents. It sucks that it happened. Go talk to your kids. Make sure they aren’t scarred for life by what they saw. I’d venture to guess they aren’t. I can pretty much guarantee that many of these kids didn’t see anything they haven’t already seen. I can pretty much guarantee that if you said to them, “Have you ever seen Santonio Holmes’ penis?” they would say, even the Amish among them, “HAVE I EVER! YOU CAN SEE IT FROM THE MOON, MA!”

Gosh, it’s a great day when I can work a Giant Freshly Showered Penis joke into my blog.

God bless America, am I right?





61 Comments


  1. Silica
    September 15, 2010 9:29 am

    I’m with you. Suing the Blood Bank is not the way to fix this. I would, however, call and complain about the employee who was dumb enough to share a flash drive with that kind of material with a presentation for high schoolers (Do we know what happened to the rep?) Even if most high schoolers have seen that kind of thing before (and I don’t doubt that they have, and some of them may have even sought it out ON PURPOSE), it’s still completely inappropriate for a school.

    I think the school did the right thing by informing parents even though you know a bunch of parents are going to flip out on them even though it wasn’t their fault – they had no reason to suspect that the rep doing the presentation would be an idiot. (As someone who’s sat through a few of these presentations as a public school teacher before, I can safely say that most of them are not.)



  2. Jenny
    September 15, 2010 9:33 am

    If these pics were of boobies, no one would give a crap.



  3. Moe the Dog
    September 15, 2010 9:34 am

    But what happens if one of their sons who viewed this becomes (gasp) gay? Who will pay for the years of anti-gay counseling?



  4. Virginia
    September 15, 2010 9:36 am

    LOL at Jenny.



  5. Snoots
    September 15, 2010 9:40 am

    You are so right!!! Sueing somebody/something for an incident that was “ACCIDENTAL” is not what you should be showing your children, they will grow up to be money-hungry people just like their parentws. Also, the parents that are suing better hope that their lives and the childrens lives are “PERFECT” because I am sure everything about their lives be brought up. Better hope they ARE like the “Amish seniors of the past”.



  6. Fish
    September 15, 2010 9:48 am

    Amen, sister.



  7. Monty
    September 15, 2010 9:48 am

    Peter Payne pursuing proceedings because public school pubescents were shown potentially perverse pics of penis porn?? Preposterous.



  8. BeauJacques
    September 15, 2010 9:56 am

    I would get Peter Pain under oath and ask first him, then ask all the father’s of the suing parents,
    and then the judge (if male)
    if, (and if yes: what?) they’ve named their penises yet!!!



  9. Neesie
    September 15, 2010 9:56 am

    I am so effing sick of our litigious society.

    Too many people are of the mindset that all they have to do file some frivolous lawsuit and they will be set up with a nice award or settlement that they didn’t have to work for. It is beyond disgusting.

    There are lawsuit worthy events…this is certainly not one of them.



  10. Donna
    September 15, 2010 9:58 am

    oh good god. people are such freaking sue happy. and the parents that don’t think their kids know or have seen or done anything are just up in the night. hell, my son got hit by a car when he was 12 and we didn’t sue the lady. we just made sure her insurance covered everything. stories like that make me just pissed.



  11. Elle C.
    September 15, 2010 10:00 am

    We live in a sue-happy society. Your kid is overweight? Sue McDonalds for their Happy Meal toys. You drive your car into a lake because your navigation system told you there was a road there? Sue Tom Tom.

    It really doesn’t surprise me that these parents lawyered up to sue. God Bless America.



  12. Lauren
    September 15, 2010 10:15 am

    My guess is that the parents don’t even care that their kids saw what they saw. They heard the news and immediately thought about dollar signs. College is expensive, yinz guys (sarcasm.)

    This makes me wonder what would have happened if all the dirty laundry from my (big rival of Norwin) high school had ever become public, because this is NOTHING compared to what went on there.



  13. Tina Fey
    September 15, 2010 10:15 am

    Monty, beautiful alliteration.



  14. Jill
    September 15, 2010 10:15 am

    My guess is they’d have had a much bigger attendance if they’d have just announced they were showing “porn” instead of talking about donating blood – LOL. (Maybe that was Plan B if not enough students showed up).

    Seriously though – get over it…

    P.S…Note to self…check flash drive before next presentation ;)



  15. Me
    September 15, 2010 10:20 am

    People are idiots. Seriously. Idiots. Like seeing pictures of any body part are going to somehow scar someone for life. Even if it was hardcore porn, so what? It was viewed for what, a couple of minutes tops while someone tried to turn it off? Yes, it shouldn’t have happened, but come on, no one is going to die from viewing porn by mistake for a couple of minutes. They won’t go blind. They won’t turn gay. They won’t become deviants. Our society is just so totally ridiculous. So many parents are just insane. I bet half of those suing have exposed their children to worse. I’m so tired of the notion that everyone should be so protected. Life is life. It’s messy. Accidents happen. People do dumb things. No one died. Get over it!



  16. spoon
    September 15, 2010 10:22 am

    If the pics were of Santonio they’d have to sue from kids going blind



  17. unsatisfied
    September 15, 2010 10:23 am

    peter payne.

    perfect porn pseudonym.

    I know — monty already alliterated. and, pseudonym has a soft p. and, soft p makes me giggle almost as much as peter payne….



  18. A Mom and a blood donor
    September 15, 2010 10:27 am

    I hope the Judge throws any lawsuit out before it gets anywhere. The CBB took the appropriate steps, and quickly too.

    I’ve been a regular blood donor for the last fifteen years, and almost everyone I have dealt with during the donation process (including the scheduling phone call) have been professional, caring, dedicated people. Yes, there was one incident with someone who shouldn’t be working with the public. But one incident in fifteen years? How many companies have statistics that good? The CBB is a great organization.



  19. facie
    September 15, 2010 10:29 am

    An elderly retired priest at our parish tragically ran over some people on Good Friday last year (you may have read about it), killing one and seriously injuring several.

    This spring I read that a couple who was hit by the priest is suing not the priest, but the diocese, because “the diocese should have had control over the church property, and that it should have known Father Kacinko was not in the proper mental or physical condition to be driving.” Huh?

    I know this is not the same thing; what happened to them is certainly far more serious than the porn, but in both cases, people are shifting the blame and looking for a payout, however they can get it. Sheesh. And sigh.



  20. bucdaddy
    September 15, 2010 10:34 am

    *Pulls down pants, admires penis*

    Big *ahem* deal. I see that every day.



  21. bluzdude
    September 15, 2010 10:37 am

    #12 Lauren pretty much said everything I was going to say. The lawyered-up parents saw a big payday and everything else is an afterthought…



  22. bucdaddy
    September 15, 2010 10:37 am

    You just know that rather than being aghast, the whole assembly was laughing and pointing and damn will they have some stories to tell at class reunions. The mom parents are just jealous they didn’t get a peek.



  23. Annie
    September 15, 2010 10:41 am

    Ginny – I’m with you. I was visiting home this weekend and I was shocked… by the comments of the parents on the local news. Geesh. You’d think kiddie porn popped up. Just talk to your kid about it. I’m sure they’ve seen or heard worse. The Central Blood Bank should reprimand the employee and I’m sure they’ll implement a new rule about personal use of their computers. I do agree with other commenters that homophobia could be feeding this story.



  24. LucyLou
    September 15, 2010 10:43 am

    And the grounds for the lawsuit are….what? Were the kids irreparably harmed? Scarred for life? Exposed to a PICTURE of a *gasp* penis in the safe environs of their school and now afraid to go back? Right. Honestly…greed has no limits.



  25. Carpetbagger
    September 15, 2010 11:04 am

    I’ll bet Edgar Snyder got slightly arounsed by this, and he didn’t even see the pictures!

    Plus, I guess the employee was suspended. Which raises the question: What do you have to do to get fired at the Central Blood Bank?



  26. Angry Mongo
    September 15, 2010 1:15 pm

    There’s a Variety headline in there somewhere…

    Hicks Nix Pix of…

    ahem.



  27. Scott
    September 15, 2010 1:30 pm

    I hope the male blood bank rep was already out of the closet before this assembly, ’cause if he wasn’t before, he sure has hell is now.



  28. Pensgirl
    September 15, 2010 1:36 pm

    I would comment, but I’m busy preparing a lawsuit against my parents. Not only is one of them male, but they also went and had my brother, and so I had to LIVE with not just one, but two people who were in CONSTANT POSSESSION of those terrifying appendages. I can’t believe they raised me in that kind of corrupting environment, and it’s some kind of miracle I have been able to pursue a normal life and not end up a coke-addicted porn star.



  29. Kathy
    September 15, 2010 1:36 pm

    That’s Church



  30. Kathy
    September 15, 2010 1:38 pm

    @Jenny – That’s Church.

    @Monty – lol, you inspired me:

    Pontificating Peter Payne’s pleading propounded the putative penises.

    @unsatisfied – Soft “p’s”. Giggle. I don’t think there were any pictures of those.

    Isn’t it sad that something bad happened at a school and nobody thinks to turn it into a LEARNING opportunity? When did parents stop parenting?

    Now I must go lawyer-up. I’m sueing all the parents for raising children that will be unable to cope in real life. I will have sadz. That’s gotta be worth something, right Peter P. Payne?



  31. burgher-licious
    September 15, 2010 1:57 pm

    Wonder if those “suing” parents know what their kids watch on TV on a daily basis….#25 Carpetbagger; I am laughing so hard right now I can’t even see.



  32. redram1
    September 15, 2010 2:01 pm

    Maybe all of these parents should look at the sexting pics on their kid’s phones before before they go flying off the handle over something so stupid.



  33. Nicole T.
    September 15, 2010 2:04 pm

    Okay, has NO ONE else been shown the “Miracle of Life” video in high school? Cmon… it really doesn’t get more traumatizing than that. Let’s be honest here.



  34. Monty
    September 15, 2010 2:06 pm

    How does someone named “Peter Payne” not end up as a urologist? It’s so cruel when parents try to predestine their children’s lives through names. I guess it’s not as bad as what Lou Gehrig’s parents did.



  35. Dan (Not Onarato)
    September 15, 2010 2:13 pm

    Seriously? The guys name is Peter Payne?

    Seriously? Come on. How can Bob Mayo report this with a straight face?

    Im sure its nothing that most of them havent seen before. I agree with you Ginny…he made a mistake, they apologized. Time to move on.

    Im guessing we wont be seeing “Peter Payne proposes post penis projection press party pardon” nevermind…FAIL



  36. PittinDC
    September 15, 2010 2:25 pm

    I graduated from high school 10 years ago, and even then, everyone one I knew had already seen a penis by the time they were seniors in high school. I can’t imagine that pictures can be scandalous to kids today.. back then we only had AOL dialup and we were still able to see whatever we wanted on the internet!



  37. BeauJacques
    September 15, 2010 2:25 pm

    Seriously!!

    Now, had they been talking penises….well…there’s a case,
    just get me Edgar Snyder on line #1 NOW!!!



  38. BeauJacques
    September 15, 2010 2:29 pm

    I think some legal motions for discovery are in order here to ID the penises in question and make sure all copyrights,
    royalties, ASCAP, and SAG union scale was complied with and the owners compensated fo the public display of their work!!!

    OFF WITH THEIR………..



  39. BeauJacques
    September 15, 2010 2:34 pm

    Do these penises belong to illegal immigrants?

    Scab, non-union penises??

    Are they covered by Workman’s Comp??



  40. Angry Mongo
    September 15, 2010 2:39 pm

    Guess who just made the top of the call list for donations next year? The plantiffs.

    #37 @beaujacques Nah, get Berger & Green. Ever see the commericals with the explosions in the background? One could only imagine a commercial for this instance.



  41. BeauJacques
    September 15, 2010 2:43 pm

    Health class??

    I’ve got the perfect legal defense!!!!!

    Now if the guy from Central Blood Bank can claim he was actually trying to pull up THIS article on the importance of genital washing for HIV prevention:

    http://cnsnews.com/news/article/75198



  42. betoon
    September 15, 2010 3:37 pm

    When my kids were little I took them to see an afternoon movie about a girl and her pet seal, Andre. The whole audience was full of kids and parents or caregivers of some sort. As the lights dimmed and we got ready for previews, the previews turned out to be for a decidedly more worldly audience. There were naughty words and gestures and maybe a body part of two. After about a shocked 30 seconds or so, two of us walked back and told the person taking tickets about the situation and viola – no more bad stuff. Are my children scarred…no, but I am sure the movie projectionist is.



  43. Michael Hasko
    September 15, 2010 4:28 pm

    One really shouldn’t be suing blood banks unless you have an extremely valid reason.

    That said, given that CBB’s corporate half is the worst of any blood bank I’ve donated with (Have lived in Erie, Cleveland, Buffalo, and here, and the only the corporate side of CBB has made me feel like a trapped prey caught in a raptor’s talons) if this triggers a change of the execuctive staff, I may not dread donating blood any more.



  44. Scott
    September 15, 2010 4:37 pm

    #42 Michael, you are the king of the rust belt with those cities under your belt. Kudos on ending up in Pittsburgh, which must seem like utopia.



  45. Michael Hasko
    September 15, 2010 5:32 pm

    Yeah, after years of Lake Erie water, I wanted something less polluted, so I settled with water from the Monongalia River.

    Upgrade.



  46. John B.
    September 15, 2010 6:10 pm

    Usually I lurk, but I had to comment on this. I graduated from Norwin thirteen years ago and I can only say that goofy shit like this happened more often than people think, it just wasn’t news worthy. We would have giggled like the immature Beavis & Butthead (huh huh huh) charactures we were and moved on with our life.



  47. Lynn
    September 15, 2010 6:10 pm

    @ #33 Nicole: We saw The Miracle of Life in religion class (!) at my Catholic high school in the late 1980’s. If I recall, we were more mystified than traumatized. Who agreed to have a camera film that? How did they get a camera in there?



  48. Kathy
    September 15, 2010 7:07 pm

    @ #47 Lynn – Yes! Those thoughts are still my thoughts all these years later. lol. I was telling people at work about this silly “controversy” (we’re in Cali) and mentioned the MofL. I think that video was the most effective birth control ever.



  49. bluzdude
    September 15, 2010 7:29 pm

    Perhaps they were just demonstrating another place where blood may be safely stored.



  50. Pa-pop
    September 15, 2010 8:43 pm

    Peter Payne? Really?? From the “firm” Moore Dixon Peters??? Where one of the associates is Dick Hertz???? I thought so.