Gold Bond’s new spokesskeeve

Well, here’s something I didn’t need to read:

Frankly, I’d rather not have to walk into a post-game locker room ever again. Let me tell you what happened Sunday in Pittsburgh, after the Steelers defeated the Falcons in overtime. I wanted to ask Steelers kicker Jeff Reed about missing a field goal that would have won the game late in regulation, but Reed was in the shower. Finally he came to his locker, faced it — a sign that he wasn’t ready to talk — and dropped his towel. His enormous gut dropped, among other things. And there I am, speechless at a practical and literal level. I’m standing there next to this naked man as he rubs cream over his body and powders himself down … there.

Are you also trying to stab yourself in the mind’s eye? It’s not possible. I tried. I’m bleeding and I can still see Jeff Reed generously rubbing powder on his … stuff.

If you’re wondering why there is no image accompanying this post, it is because I had the genius idea to Google Image search “Eww” and well, I don’t recommend you do that.

Kids, there is a whole lot of EWW! out there.

(h/t Donna)


  1. LuAnn
    September 16, 2010 8:52 am

    I agree with Gregg Doyel’s article 100%.

  2. spoon
    September 16, 2010 8:56 am

    I have to admit, I figured Skippy wasn’t that hygienic. Being rejected form Jersey Shore musta done something

  3. Greg
    September 16, 2010 9:23 am

    You could have posted a pic of Ines Sainz with this ya know?

  4. Jill
    September 16, 2010 9:23 am

    @ LuAnn – My sentiments exactly. There is no reason for reporters to be in a locker room. If I were a player, I wouldn’t WANT anyone sitting at my locker waiting for me to come out of the shower…

    Other than that…ewwww…

  5. bluzdude
    September 16, 2010 9:32 am

    Too bad that “shrinkage” doesn’t apply uniformly.

  6. Ms Redd
    September 16, 2010 9:37 am

    Eeewww doesn’t say it enough!!

  7. BeauJacques
    September 16, 2010 9:39 am

    I would much rather hear from Andy Sheehan interviewing detectives and Chief Nate “PimpDaddy” Harper in their locker rooms at Police Headquarters on Western Ave (3 blocks,) or better yet, Zone 1 Station (1 block) away from the shootout at high noon that makes Bhagdad look tame, that occurred because of a large-scale, long-ongoing, marijuana operation
    conducted 1 block away, and have them explain how this happens, with a straight face!!

  8. BeauJacques
    September 16, 2010 9:42 am

    ps- Oh, and 2-4 perps STILL got away!

  9. Monty
    September 16, 2010 9:45 am

    I am perplexed by Greg Doyel’s ability to refrain from yelling at Jeff Reed (in Countess LouAnn’s voice): “It rubs the lotion on its skin, or ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN.”

    But maybe that’s just me?

  10. BB
    September 16, 2010 9:53 am

    dammit. now i have the urge to google image ewwwww. must. refrain.

  11. bucdaddy
    September 16, 2010 10:04 am

    She was grossed out and she only used two w’s. I can’t imagine what comes up when you use four. “Human Centipede,” probably.

  12. Pa-pop
    September 16, 2010 10:15 am

    One wonders what Skippy’s reaction would be if a reporter said, “Hey, you missed a spot.” One more thought: If the awkward moment with Skippy was Greg Doyel’s tipping point, I can hardly wait til he’s assigned to a giant, freshly showered post-game interview in the Jets locker room when Asshat comes back from suspension.

  13. unsatisfied
    September 16, 2010 10:19 am

    gregg doyel — for having to deal with that skeeviness in the flesh, this bud’s for you.

  14. Lauren
    September 16, 2010 10:39 am

    My guess is that he needs to use the cream to prevent his “giant gut” from chafing him “down there.” Once again: Ewwwwww.

  15. Leigh
    September 16, 2010 10:56 am

    I thought earlier this week we agreed that commentary of this nature (along with the snakes up the penis) would come with warnings in advance.
    Sweet jesus….i’m going to have to wash my brain in clorox.

  16. Lizzy
    September 16, 2010 11:05 am

    Please get me a date with this man – haha – I LOVE bad boys!

  17. burgher-licious
    September 16, 2010 12:26 pm

    Does anyone know where Jeff Reed was during the Norwin/Central Blood bank incident? Just askin.

  18. Kathy
    September 16, 2010 12:38 pm

    I’m traumatized by that excerpt. I’m calling Peter Payne.

  19. Bulldog
    September 16, 2010 12:49 pm

    Absolutely the best-ever commentary on the problem. And the mental image created above? There isn’t enough Clorox on the shelves to clean that picture out of my minds eye. Now, I’m afraid that the tremendously health lunch salad I just finished is going to come right back up…

  20. Clementine
    September 16, 2010 9:17 pm

    Monty wins the blog today.

  21. Noelle
    September 16, 2010 10:41 pm

    Lizzy, again, we need to talk. Maybe we need to share that beer I never had…

  22. MM
    September 16, 2010 10:52 pm

    Read the article and I have to say that I do agree that reporters should not be permitted to enter a dressing room until the players (whether male or female) are dressed. Geez…

  23. Cheryl :)
    September 17, 2010 9:56 am

    Well he never has been shy.

  24. Lizzy
    September 18, 2010 6:33 pm

    @Noelle – Maybe I have my “beer goggles” on already – Ha – Longing for the start of hockey, where I can turn my focus to Talbot – ahhhhhh

  25. Nicole
    September 23, 2010 10:38 pm

    He’s been like that for years…I have a friend who is a sports writer that can tell you a similar story. He’s a jerk!