Well, here’s something I didn’t need to read:
Frankly, I’d rather not have to walk into a post-game locker room ever again. Let me tell you what happened Sunday in Pittsburgh, after the Steelers defeated the Falcons in overtime. I wanted to ask Steelers kicker Jeff Reed about missing a field goal that would have won the game late in regulation, but Reed was in the shower. Finally he came to his locker, faced it — a sign that he wasn’t ready to talk — and dropped his towel. His enormous gut dropped, among other things. And there I am, speechless at a practical and literal level. I’m standing there next to this naked man as he rubs cream over his body and powders himself down … there.
Are you also trying to stab yourself in the mind’s eye? It’s not possible. I tried. I’m bleeding and I can still see Jeff Reed generously rubbing powder on his … stuff.
If you’re wondering why there is no image accompanying this post, it is because I had the genius idea to Google Image search “Eww” and well, I don’t recommend you do that.
Kids, there is a whole lot of EWW! out there.