Deep thoughts with Ray Lewis

Ray Lewis spoke to the media about how he and The Duke are texting buddies.

It is so moving.

Hold me.

Stroke my hair.

Hum Ave Maria to me.

Let the beauty of his words surround us, touch us, comfort us.

“He texted me last night and things like that. It’s a respect we have for each other, but more importantly it’s a respect you got to have for yourself.”

Ray is saying that Ben Roethlisberger has so much respect for himself and that is why he and Ray Lewis text? That makes perfect sense if you’re a giant doofus.

“He hit me last night. We always hit each other. There are many people I hit. Just simple stuff. This ain’t the first time he texted me. We texted each other whenever he was going through what he was going through, I was there for him. It’s more of a brotherhood. The game always takes care of itself on the field, but off the field if we don’t look out for each other nobody else will.”

Whew. Thank God we have a murderer looking out for our Benny, OR NO ONE ELSE WILL. HE’S GOT NO ONE ELSE!

“You’re not trying to please the world; if you’re trying to please the world you’re going to confuse yourself. If you’re going to worry what people say about you, you’re going to confuse yourself. All you can do is move on, live on and whatever he puts behind him as a man, and he puts behind him whatever he’s going through, leave it there. Don’t let nobody pull you back into it, don’t let nobody make you keep talking about it. Once it’s done, it’s done.”

Yeah, murder is so final. Once it’s done, and you get the blood out, it’s done, know whai’msayin’?

Oh, Ray Lewis. Teach me about Aristotle’s theory of universals, now.

I’ll hum Celeste Aida while you orate.





23 Comments

  1. bluzdude
    September 29, 2010 3:28 pm

    Thanks, Ray, for all the heavy advice. Now where’s the knife and the bloody fur jacket? That must have been some righteous hiding place…



  2. LaReina
    September 29, 2010 3:53 pm

    Texting was designed for near-illiterates like Ray Lewis.



  3. Summer
    September 29, 2010 3:55 pm

    This cannot possibly help Ben in any way, shape or form, so … why is Ray Lewis saying it?



  4. Jagoff
    September 29, 2010 3:58 pm

    Can someone explain to me what he just said?



  5. Stacey
    September 29, 2010 4:25 pm

    I saw this and immediately thought “how is this going to make Ben more endearing to Pittsburgh?” Let’s ask Ray Lewis, who’s been arrested for murder to support our wayward quarterback and all will be forgiven. I think someone has been sacked way too many times in his football career.



  6. Sooska
    September 29, 2010 4:34 pm

    gee, the word of a convicted felon and murder abettor (well, OK, obstruction of justice in a murder investigation) on the actions & thoughts of an alleged rapist. yes, I care.



  7. Carpetbagger
    September 29, 2010 4:39 pm

    Where’s Tiger Woods when Ben needs him?



  8. unsatisfied
    September 29, 2010 6:38 pm

    what?



  9. USCMike
    September 29, 2010 9:52 pm

    If this is the kind of company the Fug keeps, no wonder he’s a hot mess.

    You know Ben, you could always start texting with Tim Tebow to help him adjust to the league and he could help you adjust to being a fine Christian…



  10. MariaBird522
    September 29, 2010 10:54 pm

    Get on YouTube and look up the Saturday TV FunHouse featuring Ray Lewis in Disney Movies..haha
    “I didn’t kill no m*****cking LIIIIIOOON”



  11. Angry Mongo
    September 30, 2010 8:18 am

    @MariaBird522 – You listened to the FAN today, too, huh?



  12. MariaBird522
    September 30, 2010 8:30 am

    @Angry: No, I didn’t…
    Anytime Ray Lewis is mentioned, I always think of that sketch. It really is hilarious.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XZDzOGFXts%5D
    Here’s the link-everyone should watch!
    “We need to forget about that Simba **** and focus on the Pittsburgh game!” Hahahahaha



  13. LaReina
    September 30, 2010 8:52 am

    I really do expect to see Ben out on the links with Eldrick. Then, afterwards, they can check out the hoes at the nearest strip club. Male bonding, baby.



  14. cheld
    September 30, 2010 9:53 am

    sic sic sic , just when i was ready to give benny another chance ….ray lewis, seriously



  15. DanW
    September 30, 2010 10:41 am

    So I don’t know whether Ben really texts with Ray-Ray or not, but I tend to take the word of a murderer with a grain of salt. I do find it interesting that everything I am currently reading about Ben is second-hand. First Peter King claims to have a scoop on what Ben has been up to during the suspension, and all he has is an interview with the quarterback coach who’s working with Ben. Then “God’s Media Whore” Lewis decides to chime in. Ed Bouchette wrote that Ben has “politely declined” interview requests during the suspension, which is exactly what I think he should be doing.



  16. bucdaddy
    September 30, 2010 10:45 am

    Seems strange the results of that psychological exam haven’t leaked out by now.



  17. Dan (Not Onorato)
    September 30, 2010 11:04 am

    Agree with #15….100% I’d be careful about what Ray-Ray says.

    And for the record, always thought Ray Lewis was overrated since a rookie (Dan Kreider) crushed him in a game. But thats just me.



  18. Ms Redd
    September 30, 2010 12:06 pm

    I am desparately hoping that Lewis is just making this all up — maybe hoping to make Ben get into trouble again with Goodell? If all the things that are being said about how Ben has changed, this just would not make any sense. Even Ben should know this guy should definitely not be on the top of his texting list.



  19. Angry Mongo
    September 30, 2010 12:08 pm

    They both hired the same attorney… there’s a connection, right there.



  20. cmitch
    September 30, 2010 3:44 pm

    @Ms Redd

    How exactly would he get in trouble with Goodell for texting with Ray Lewis? I just don’t understand what the issue is.



  21. Ms. Redd
    September 30, 2010 6:25 pm

    @cmitch- I don’t think that Ray Lewis is the type of person that Ben should be using as a mentor. Probably deep down inside, Goodell doesn’t think so either.Do you?



  22. cmitch
    October 1, 2010 9:27 am

    Actually I think he is a perfect mentor. He is a guy who got into trouble early in his career, got a second chance, and for the past ten years has made the most of it.



  23. Dack
    October 1, 2010 4:52 pm

    Whether you want to admit it or not, Ray Lewis is one of THE faces of the NFL! His image is splashed all over the start of every football related show on the major networks; his image appears on NFLShop.com ads; he is constantly being interviewed on the radio and television.

    Not bad for a guy who was initially charged with murder, huh?

    If anyone knows how to climb up from the basement, it’s Lewis.