They’re clearly inhaling.

Update: According to the Trib’s Rob Biertempfel’s tweets, the REAL reason for the firing:


I have it on pretty good authority that all of the owners of the Pittsburgh Pirates are smoking crack.

How else do you explain this?

I want you to try to wrap your brain around this as best you can, but please be aware that in order to do that you’re going to need duct tape and crazy glue, otherwise, there will be leakage of the THIS DOESN’T COMPUTE variety.

  • The Altoona Curve, the Pirates AA club, won the Eastern League championship two weeks ago under manager Matt Walbeck.
  • Matt Walbeck was just named the league’s Manager of the Year, because he sucks, apparently.
  • They had an 82-60 record. I’m going to say this because I know you haven’t seen one in a long time and you might not recognize it. That is what we call a WINNING RECORD. They won more games than they lost.
  • John Russell, who has a 185-296 record as the manager of the Pirates, is under contract for next year and has said:
    “Do I deserve to be back? … I’m here. I’m here, so I don’t think about if I’m not here. I’m under contract for next year, and I have no indication from anybody in the organization that that’s going to be different. All we talk about is what we need to do today, the offseason camps, spring training … all I’m looking forward to is the planning.

Dear John Russell, please let me answer your question. The answer is “no.” No, you do not deserve to be back and if you are back next year I will pay the Captain Jolly Roger to get wasted on rum, eat a bucket of sauerkraut, and then puke in all your shoes. And as for you Huntington and Nutting, WTF? I mean, W.T.F? Are you telling me that you never once stormed into John Russell’s office this season and threw random bobbleheads at the wall and said, “IF THE LOSING DOESN’T STOP, YOU AREN’T GOING TO BE HERE NEXT YEAR, YOU GOT THAT?!”

He’s been given NO indication that his job would be in jeopardy if performance measures weren’t met?

Matt was fired because:

According to the source, the Pirates’ primary issue with Walbeck related to his communications with staff and players. The Pirates run an intensely rigid system, with an aim of having cohesion in the area of instruction and development, so that prospects can progress steadily through the system without having to adjust to new styles.

Yeah, because God help a baseball player trying to make the adjustment of going from being a champion to being a complete and total laughingstock baseball loser.

It’s better if they get used to the losing early on in their careers. It goes down easier that way.

[golf clap], Pirates. [golf clap]

Why not just hand your next minor league manager a little plaque for his desk that says, “Thou shalt not win.”


  1. djh
    October 1, 2010 11:56 pm

    I would like to point out that if winning a minor league title and being named best Double-A managerial prospect is supposed to be such a good predictor for future success, current Pirates manager John Russell has both of those as well as being named best Triple-A managerial prospect.

  2. Xena
    October 3, 2010 11:43 pm

    Let me just say that what I hope for is a major league manager who appears to be fully conscious, and not just a pod-person who speak like a robot and has the affect of one as well. With a franchise who has lost 105 games (2 out of ever 3, essentially). the least the manager can do is look like he cares about the losing. And who might unleash holy hell on some dumbass who still can’t hit the cut-off man or run the bases in spite of being in the MAJOR LEAGUES. And at the minor league level–someone who can teach the fundamentals and establish a culture of teamwork and accountability. From that, winning often ensues.