(photo courtesy of Burgh Baby)
Tomorrow is October 5 and that means tomorrow is the Make Room for Kids/Christmas Crazy fundraiser at the ScareHouse.
Internet, I’m losing. LOSING! At this rate, tomorrow I will have to walk through the entire ScareHouse, a haunt so scary it was just featured on the Travel Channel, and I’ll have to walk it by myself, and by “walk” I mean “sprint as fast as I can with my eyes closed and my fingers in my ears while shouting ‘LALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOUR SHRIEKING DEMONS.'”
I’m trusting that none of the zombies or demons or evil bunnies in the ScareHouse are actually permitted to touch me, right? Kind of like a strip club? Look at the screaming, crying lady, but don’t touch her?
Seriously, if anything in that house reaches out and touches me, I will just start throwing punches like I’m the Intersect on a Kung Fu flash.
If you don’t get that, you don’t watch Chuck and you can’t be my friend anymore. Hmph.
What am I saying? I’m losing. I APPARENTLY DON’T HAVE ANY FRIENDS. HMPH!
The VIP room is going to be all kinds of fun.
We’re going to have a few surprise mystery guests (you know them, trust me).
We’re going to give away a certain something the Pittsburgh Penguins donated, a Kris Le-nom Letang autographed hockey stick, but you have to be in the VIP room to be eligible to win it.
There’s going to be food. Drinks. And if you’re the type that is easily scared, you can still purchase the VIP ticket and you won’t have to actually go through the haunted house. You can just hang out upstairs and enjoy all the food, fun, and new friends you’ll make.
I’ll be in the VIP room, getting outrageously drunk because that’s the only way I’m going to get through this without being scarred for life. Being so drunk that I possibly puke on a scarer is also a positive. Being so drunk I lay down mid-house and take a nap is an EPIC WIN.
If you haven’t yet bought a ticket, would you PLEASE DO IT FROM MY SITE? Please? Save me from my nightmare.
Click the Crazy Scary button in the sidebar to buy your ticket, or if you’re not doing the VIP, but rather just the ScareHouse that night, then be sure to use the DRESS code when you check out.
Tell your friends; tell your kids; tell your colleagues. Tell them to vote for me.
If you have purchased your tickets from Burgh Baby’s site already, I hope a zombie eats your stupid jerk brain.
I say that with love.