Oh, Jimmy, you’re so … not shutty uppy.

I thought someone was going to tell James Harrison to shut up.

Didn’t anyone tell James Harrison to shut up?

WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL JAMES HARRISON TO SHUT THE HELL UP?

Tsk.

Yesterday, James Harrison wasn’t at practice. Coach Tomlin says it was because James was upset that he’s perceived as a dirty player so he gave him the day off. James’ agent says it was because James is SERIOUSLY considering retirement. I say it’s because James Harrison is being a big sissy cwhy-baby.

He went on Sirius’ Mad Dog Radio, instead of shutting up.

Honestly, I’m truly considering if I can play football in the NFL by the rules that they’re trying to make. I’m honestly going to sit down with my coach and see if I can play football within the NFL rules and still be effective. If not, I may have to give up playing football.


If I don’t get the answer that I feel will make me effective at what I do and still not put myself at getting hurt or injured, then I’m going to have to try to find a way that I may possibly be able to get out of whatever agreement I’ve made with the Steelers.

Allow me to translate. “I’m taking my ball, and I’m going home.”

Here’s the thing, James, hundreds and hundreds of tackles happened last Sunday that weren’t fined. That means there is in fact a way to play in the NFL without being fined for questionable hits. I don’t believe your hits were illegal, but at the same time, it seems to me that it can’t be that hard to make a tackle within the new guidelines being sent down from the NFL in an effort to protect brains.

“Yeah I’m going to fight it, but if it comes back as this is how it is and nothing’s going to be done, then I’m going to have to seriously consider a career change or whatever it may be.”

Again. Ball. Taking it. Going home.

James’ agent said:

“We wouldn’t joke about [retirement],” Parise said.  “This is a very serious issue.”

Dear James, my advice to you is similar to advice I’ve written to Jeff Reed recently. Recognize that you live a charmed life, no matter how unfair and poopy you feel it is right now. You are paid millions and millions of dollars to make tackles and you’ve been fined for concussing two players in one game. It might not be fair, but James, you don’t see this enough in your aforementioned charmed life, so I’m going to break it to you … Life is not fair.  It is not fair for ANYBODY.

In a few games, you might inadvertently make a helmet-to-helmet hit and you might get fined for it. Guess what? It will not in fact be the end of the world.

I was on your side until you started whining to the media. Until you pouted about how you’re being perceived as a dirty player. Until you went on the frickin’ radio and threatened to retire and then showed up at practice the next day. The idea of taking your ball and going home is to take your ball and go home. Have a snack. Watch Punky Brewster. It is not to pick up your ball, walk around the block, and then show up and say, “Just kidding.”

If you’re worth the money you’re being paid, if you’re worth your Super Bowl rings, if you’re worth the uniform on your back, you’d take the fine, shut up, show up for work, be thankful for your job and your handsome paycheck, work your ass off knowing there are so many damn problems in the world greater than your inability to smash heads to your exact liking, and say, “I’m James Freaking Harrison. I will find a way to bring your ass to the ground and I’ll do it in a way that is indisputably legal. But trust me. You will still hear the birdies and see the stars when you open your eyes.”

Just grow up. Shut up. And play ball.

If you can’t do that, then maybe it really is time to retire.





63 Comments


  1. bucdaddy
    October 21, 2010 2:37 pm

    Heh, it’s also fun hearing the NBA players whine about getting T’d up now when they wave their arms or frown at an official’s call. LeBron is all “they’re taking the emotion out of the game.”

    NASCAR routinely changes rules in the middle of the season and the drivers whine about it for a week and then they go back to racing under the new rules.

    So, James, your sports options (and your excuses) are narrowing there, buddy.



  2. Cassie
    October 21, 2010 3:00 pm

    @Scott, totally meant 5 minutes, however typos happen.



  3. Ugh 2: Electric Boogaloo
    October 21, 2010 3:00 pm

    @bucdaddy

    Giving technicals to players who complain about calls isn’t nearly the same as fining and suspending players for clean hits.

    And NASCAR doesn’t count because it’s not a sport.



  4. Greg
    October 21, 2010 3:04 pm

    Not one person has discussed how the bad play of Colt McCoy comes into play here… the rookie needs to learn not to hang his receivers out to dry on those crossing routes!!!



  5. Ugh 2: Electric Boogaloo
    October 21, 2010 3:07 pm

    @Greg

    I mentioned it actually.

    But yeah, you’re right.



  6. Deby
    October 21, 2010 3:17 pm

    I, too, was a little surprised by this post. I’ve not read all of the comments, although I’ve read several and seen my own sentiments expressed over and over. But still, here goes: Maybe he ranted on a bit – and to be perfectly honest, I haven’t heard or seen very much of this issue (I work in social services & CANNOT AFFORD CABLE). However, I’m willing to bet that much of what he said was in response to questions he was asked. And, my now-ex-husband and I have, for some time now, lamented the fact that football, A CONTACT SPORT, has gotten so…sissified. Is anyone other than me wondering what, oh, JACK LAMBERT might have had to say about this in HIS prime? Lambert’s now-infamous “quarterbacks in dresses” comments came after a rule-change that by now has morphed into babying the quarterbacks (especially if you’re Peyton Manning; less so if you’re Roethlisberger, whether you like him or not). And, the NFL SAYS that these rules are for the “protection” of the players. BULL. It’s to protect the INVESTMENT in these players…the insane amounts of money that are thrown at these guys by the league in the first frickin’ place! To (finally!) conclude, maybe he should have been a bit more circumspect. But as another poster noted, the Steelers defense is supposed to be a fearsome thing; this seems so hypocritical and absolutely designed to provoke. Talk about your mixed messages. Oh, and one more thing: I doubt LIKE HELL that Harrison went at that hit with the intent of actually HURTING anyone. This is FOOTBALL, and sometimes THAT HAPPENS.



  7. PensFan024
    October 21, 2010 4:30 pm

    @Ugh2

    Your wrong. I know what he was trying to do. But, that is not fundamental tackling procedure. I have played football. That is where I learned to tackle. If you read my tackling technique you should see where I wrote “put your hat on the ball”. That is how ALL players are taught to both separate the player from the ball and tackle him. If you disagree fine. But, it seems one Merrill Hodge doesn’t disagree with me. Should he stick to hockey as well? I’m not even sure if I want these hits banned. I am a fan of the violence. I played football, hockey and wrestling growing up. But I won’t delude myself into thinking that what Harrison did on Sunday was proper technique. Here’s a picture of a coach showing a player how to do it:

    http://images.chattanoogan.com/article_images/article_90196.jpg

    He can hit just as hard if he wants to. You aim for between the hips and numbers though, not the numbers and shoulder pads.



  8. Scott
    October 21, 2010 4:41 pm

    Ugh2,

    Listen smart guy, we have “1 loss” this season…get it?

    Thank you for your perspective and associated diatribe. Essentially agreeing with my main point, yet simultaneously disagreeing with me using terms like “idiotic” is not a very effective way to get your point across, whatever it is.

    We don’t miss Faneca.

    Have a nice evening.



  9. Ugh 2: Electric Boogaloo
    October 21, 2010 5:39 pm

    @PensFan

    Please tell me how Harrison can prevent the catch from being made and hit Massaquoi in between the numbers and the hips. Especially when Massaquoi DUCKS on the play because Colt McCoy leaves him out to dry.

    @Scott

    You’re a retard, obviously. You look at the final result and assume that it proves you correct. It doesn’t.

    The Steelers have not been able to run the ball when they had to without Alan Faneca until this season. Faneca and Jeff Hartings made the Steelers running game effective.

    Without them the Steelers have not been able to run the ball when they needed to. If you think Chris Kemoeatu is as good as Faneca you should stop watching football altogether because you are an idiot.



  10. Scott
    October 21, 2010 6:08 pm

    Ugh2,

    Thank you for enlightening us all by throwing around classy terms like “retard”. By your own admission, they’re running the ball very effectively this season.

    I’m done with you. Show some class and ease up on the sophomoric put downs, which contrary to your point, make YOU look like the idiot.



  11. MM
    October 21, 2010 9:12 pm

    I went back and forth on this topic but the comments about other tackles really brought things in perspective for me. While I don’t think Gooddell is out to get the Steeler organization as many have suggested, I do seriously question the picking and choosing of his “punishments”.



  12. JM
    October 21, 2010 10:26 pm

    This mess implicates so many issues….more than I have time to address in any cogent way, so, I’ll limit myself to two observations. First, Gooddell, in meting out his punishments, is about as arbitrary and inconsistent as is Roethlisberger when trying to explain his recent image-difficulties: “It wasn’t [the real] me” vs. “I’ve rediscovered my religion and now am changed” vs. “I would never do anything to hurt a female.” Legal issues aside, which is it, Benny? Second, if memory serves, I believe I recently heard that Timmons is the leading tackler on the Steeler D thus far this season, but he has yet to be penalized or fined. Given that he plays on the same field amongst the same speedily moving bodies as does Harrison, he evidently has managed to find a way to successfully get his opponent on the ground whilst maintaining a modicum of finesse and self control. No amount of words from me can make the arguement any better than the contrast between the results of these two teammates.



  13. Karen
    October 22, 2010 9:55 am

    I stopped liking this guy when he was arrested and pled guilty to domestic violence. And in all of these comments one person brought that up. I guess when a guy becomes Defensive Player of the Year Steeler Nation can forget that he abused his baby momma.