The Post-Gazette had a Sunday Forum front-page piece called, “Tweeting the next governor: Snappy answers from Tom Corbett and Dan Onorato.“ (pronounced ON-OR-OUGHT-OH. Do not pronounce it ON-OR-ATE-OH or his eyebrows will jump off his face and kill you with ninja moves)
This is part of the image from that piece:
So, we have “tweeting” in the headline and two Twitter birds in the image.
Here are the things I thought this article might involve:
1. Asking the men to provide 140 or less character answers to questions. (140 is the Twitter limit. If you go over, the twitter bird shits on your head. True story.)
2. Trolling twitter to find what regular folks are tweeting about the men. If so, they would have found awesome things like this:
3. A selection of Tom Corbett’s and Dan Onorato’s most interesting tweets:
And by interesting, I mean zzzzz.
But none of those three possibilities is the WHY behind the title of the article and the picture of the Twitter birds.
No, the Post-Gazette’s explanation:
Join us next week for “Haikuing the Next Governor” in which we ask Tom Corbett and Dan Onorato to answer 15 questions in haiku form, except we give them five lines and allow them at use up to 20 syllables per line.
[golf clap], PG.That entire piece had not one thing to do with Twitter other than the fact that you seem to think “tweet” and “snappy answers” are interchangeable.
Also, the final question:
Tell us something most people don’t know about you:
TC: I was a varsity lacrosse player in college.
DO: Our dog, Cookie, was adopted from the Humane Society.
Oh, Danny Boy. Really?! That’s the best you could do.
When I run for governor and the PG asks me this question, I’m going to have a cannon loaded with things like:
- “I peed my pants in front of my whole class … in the fourth grade.”
- “I once hit a tennis teammate so hard with an overhead smash to his eyeball during practice that he required surgery.”
- “When we were teens, I once methodically went through my sister’s room like a CSI working a grid until I found her diary. I honestly don’t recall if I read it, but I bet I did.”
Take a lesson, Danny O. THAT’S how you answer that question. Because your answer is about as interesting as, “Well, people probably don’t know that I cut my grass on the diagonal.”
Finally, a haiku:
Hungry fuzzy worms
Cute bushy caterpillars
What? Those are eyebrows?!
[takes a bow]