Things I hear

(screenshot from Tom Corbett’s site. Someone change that to “WHEN DAN’S EYEBROWS ATTACK” for me)

Three memorable things I’ve heard since yesterday.

1. Marshall shouting “SWEET MOTHER NATURE!” on How I Met Your Mother. I’m going to find a way to use that. Probably the first time I find a picture of a shirtless Daniel Sepulveda. Or Mike Wallace.

2. On WPXI, during a segment about the Bethel Park School strike, they had a soundbite from a parent. Parental reaction to the strike. This is the soundbite they chose:

“It is … what it is. If they’re going to strike … they’re going to strike.”

BRAVO! So much said there. It’s like “Que sera, sera,” but with more words.

3. This morning on the radio, a commercial for Tom Corbett:

“[voice of doom] The Northshore Connector is a blah blah blah … costing … blah blah blah … but it might as well be called [pause] [super doomy voice of doom gets even doomier] THE DAN ONORATO TUNNEL TO NOWHERE.”

LOL. Take a note, Internet, the Northshore Connector shall hereforetoeverafter be known as [doomy voice] THE DAN ONORATO TUNNEL TO NOWHERE.

And you have to say it in all caps with lots of doom.

“Excuse me, Sir. I’m a little lost. What’s the fastest route to the stadiums?”

“Well, you’re gonna wanna go left here and then take the [doomy voice] DAN ONORATO TUNNEL TO NOWHERE.”


  1. Beth
    October 26, 2010 10:13 am

    OMG, really? That’s the first time you heard about the DAN ONORATO TUNNEL TO NOWHERE? You need to get out more. I’ve heard that damn commercial so many times I could probably recite it in my sleep. I can’t wait til Nov 3rd.

  2. Goob
    October 26, 2010 10:55 am

    But, really, it doesn’t go to nowhere.

    If anything, it’s more of a Tunnel to Over There.

    Which, considering the particular local predilection of considering something more than five minutes yon to be “far”, makes the thing somewhat functional.

  3. bucdaddy
    October 26, 2010 11:05 am

    Even when the damn thing is finished, I’ll still prefer to walk across the bridges. Who doesn’t want to do that? (Aside from staggeringly drunk Steelers fans, I mean.)

  4. NPGH Progressive
    October 26, 2010 11:08 am

    I enjoy that everyone forgets that the Northshore Connector (sorry,[doomy voice] THE DAN ONORATO TUNNEL TO NOWHERE.) was County Executive Jim Roddey’s idea. He proposed the plan in 1999 and secured funding from Melissa Hart, Rick Santorum, Tim Murphy, Arlen Specter, Mike Doyle, and George W. Bush.

  5. SpudMom
    October 26, 2010 11:13 am

    I think the Corbett ad that I find most disgusting is the one going on and on about all the job loss in Allegheny County since Onorato’s been executive and then blaming that job loss on Onorato. Despite the fact that the economy of the entire nation fell into the shitter in that time frame. Oh no, that has NOTHING to do with it – it’s all Danny Boy’s fault. *eyeroll*

  6. Dan (Not Ona_ROT-toe)
    October 26, 2010 11:21 am

    My wife has gotten 2 personal messages *cough* from Tom Corbett. Probably because shes a teacher…too bad Corbett wants to EFF over the teachers

    Im ready for Nov 3rd….I dont remember it being this bad with the TV ads and mailings.

  7. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    October 26, 2010 11:38 am

    They’re all annoying. Both say they’re going to “reform Harrisburg”. What they fail to remind folks of is that they have to get the legislature to agree to “reform Harrisburg” through the passage of legislation to do most of what either of them want. I’m so happy my absentee ballot is in and I can relax in the Big Easy all week not having to worry about seeing any more of their adds.

  8. HorseshoeBend
    October 26, 2010 11:45 am

    Bridge to nowhere at one time was I279 out of town.

    In keeping with this theme (local politicians) were there any new developments in the boob feel issue?

  9. CC
    October 26, 2010 12:11 pm

    While I am not enamored with either canditate for Govenor, this ad is paricularly inacurate. I agree with NPGH, this funding was a forgone conclusion when Onorato took office and would have been lost if not used on the Tunnel. And both Onorato and Corbett, offer familar tired promises….privitize the State Stores…..reduce the size of the legislature……Reform Harrisburg. Without consensus in Harrisburg it will never happen and we will continue to have a bloated and ineffectual state government.

  10. Nate
    October 26, 2010 12:14 pm

    I saw that woman (from the teacher strike segment), and I immediately thought of the Russian from Rocky IV – “If he dies, he dies.”

    Either that, or Mike Tomlin is having more impact on the way we speak than anyone imagined.

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  12. Pittsburgh Tom
    October 26, 2010 1:06 pm

    It`s not a tunnel to nowhere. It`s a tunnel to the casino free parking. If night/weekend parking downtown hits $10 or more, everytime I go downtown I`m just gonna park at the casino and take the connector over.

  13. Pittsburgh Tom
    October 26, 2010 1:08 pm

    One of the great things about not having a landline is that I haven`t gotten one political call this year.

  14. KGC
    October 26, 2010 1:39 pm

    @CC.. You said “..this funding was a forgone conclusion when Onorato took office and would have been lost if not used on the Tunnel.”

    And, that’s partly the point. The tunnel could have been cancelled and the funding would have stopped, thereby being allocated elsewhere. So what? the County would have saved $$ (their share). Of course, Dan “The Drink Tax Man” would not have been looked on favorably by the Unions, the bureaucrats and the hopelessly inept PAT.

  15. Julia
    October 26, 2010 1:56 pm

    I’m really surprised that not much has been said on the drink tax. I think I heard it in maybe one commercial (out of the dozens that are on tv and radio, ugh). My boyfriend’s friend owns a local bar, and let me tell you, he will definitely not be voting for Onorato next week!!

    Speaking of which, whatever happened to all that influx of money from the drink tax and the rental car tax? Wasn’t it supposed to go to the forever-bankrupt Port Authority?

  16. spoon
    October 26, 2010 2:05 pm

    I think WPXI is behind all of these ads secretly. It didnt strike me until this morning when i heard a spot for tonights news that was some dude saying how he doesnt like to get sick but there is food all over Pgh that will do it to you and you should tune in because YOU WILL GET SICK AND DIE!!! MUHSHSHAHAHAHAHAA!

    I have 3 solutions to the “DAN ONORATO TUNNEL TO NOWHERES N’AT”.
    1) Casino – Your final destination is the casino. Old people love the place and ACCESS is too slow for them. Think of the potential shut-ins. When you go under the river slots pop up and win vouchers for your arrival.
    2) Steelers – Since you’re ad whores slow down the ride through the newly renamed “PNC Bank Heinz Field Coca Coal FSN Clear Channel Tube o History” Place your ads and hear history of the steelers along with ads of course
    3) Pittsburgh Buccos Baseball Club – Seriously, screw the scenery you need to get butts in the seat and stop fans drinking away your mismanagement by providing a safe ride home (and not jumping off the bridge). Finish the tunnel and ship their butts to the South Hills. Personal shuttles take them home in the form of the old bullpen carts from Three Rivers Stadium.

  17. SpudMom
    October 26, 2010 2:14 pm

    @Julia re: The drink tax

    As I understand it, that money is all sitting in an escrow account somewhere and Onorato refuses to release it to PAT because PAT isn’t willing to submit to binding arbitration. (Did I get that right, everyone – it’s the arbitration thing, right?)

    Whatever the case, he has some reason for withholding the money and it has to do with PAT’s refusal to take the sane managerial steps to solve its problems.

  18. Angry Mongo
    October 26, 2010 2:23 pm

    IIRC, and I could be wrong, the money we got for the NSC aka DOTTN had to be used for that purpose. I shouted to high heaven in 2006 that we needed money for an arena not a tunnel and found out that it couldn’t be reallocated because of the manner in which is was given.

    I guess they saw free money and no reason to believe that the project would eevvveeerrr go over budget. It’s one of the only things that initially wasn’t DOMO ARIGATO MR. ONORATO’s, fault in my opinion.

  19. Jaime
    October 26, 2010 2:23 pm

    I think that Tom Corbett should fire his marketing team. The only thing that his commercials lately do is keep reinforcing the name DAN ONOROTO in my head. It wasn’t until I read your post that I remembered Corbett’s name.

  20. Butcher's Dog
    October 26, 2010 2:59 pm

    We all know government never decreases in size, right? Never. It always gets bigger. Reagan wanted to cut the government and it didn’t work. Not to, you know, inject reality into these political ad proceedings or anything.

    My absentee ballot has been mailed as well. Can’t wait to see what the South Carolina version of these ads are. They have even more to attack than we do, I hear.

  21. CC
    October 26, 2010 3:52 pm

    I may not be remembering accurately but I recollect that the $400 + million could be used for the tunnel or forfeited. At the time, it represented 100% funding. Granted, if we forfeited the funding it would have been “allocated elsewhere” but elsewhere probably would have been another wasteful project employing non western PA workers. He would have been a fool to forteit the funding. I am not saying it is right or wrong but you might as well waste money here rather than somewhere else.

    Julia – not only do I wonder what happened to the drink tax funds but what happened to all of the casino tax funds. I know my property taxes have not gone down but it seems the casinos are exceeding expectations.

  22. NPGH Progressive
    October 26, 2010 4:14 pm


    Onorato’s take in the Philly Inq:
    To have canceled the project at that point, he said, would have wasted money already spent on design and would have cost the county more in penalties than to move ahead with the $13 million that was due at the local level.

    Eighty percent of the funding is from the federal government, 162/3 percent from the state, and 31/3 percent from the county.

    “I take the credit where I’m involved,” Onorato said, “and I’ll take the heat where I’m involved.”

    But he said his critics “can’t deny that this was a 10- to 15-year project that came to fruition on my watch – at the end of it. . . . I am not running from it; I am not saying, ‘It wasn’t me.’ What I am saying is that they can’t stand there and tell you, ‘This is his project.’ It’s simply not accurate, and they know it.”

    Julia and Spudmom:

    I don’t believe the 7% drink tax money is in an escrow account. The reason the Port Authority is short in their budget is because the state cut their transit funding this year across the state because I-80 tolling wasn’t approved and the state is broke.

    The Drink Tax monies can never be used for capital projects like the North Shore Connector ([doomy voice] THE DAN ONORATO TUNNEL TO NOWHERE).

  23. SpudMom
    October 26, 2010 4:50 pm

    So where is the drink tax money? I know it can’t be used for anything except PAT and I was under the impression that it was just sitting there because Danny Boy and PAT were in a pissing match.

  24. spoon
    October 26, 2010 8:53 pm

    @spudmom and he keeps collecting it. I think its sitting in a “lockbox”.