Gruesomely stupid

You know how products have warnings that are really ridiculous and make you roll your eyes and say, “Who is that stupid?!”

Warnings like:

  • Do not use this hairdryer in the bath. Do not use this hairdryer while you are sleeping.
  • Consult your physician before beginning an exercise program or using exercise equipment such as this water bottle.
  • [Car drives through a wall of angry lions before going up a ramp and jumping through a hoop of fire] “Professional driver. Closed course. Do not attempt.”
  • This curling iron is for external use only.
  • These peanuts may contain nuts.

Well, internet, THIS GUY is that stupid:

Police say a new father faces drug charges because he lit up a marijuana joint, instead of a cigar, to celebrate his child’s birth at a western Pennsylvania hospital.

Grabiak says the man told him, “I’m having a baby and wanted to get a buzz” and then pulled a bag of marijuana from his shoe.

I can’t even.

The next time you are in a maternity ward and you see a sign that says, “Celebratory smoking of marijuana is strictly prohibited,” you’ll know what that’s all about.

People really ARE that stupid.

(h/t Nancy)


  1. Silica
    November 11, 2010 12:19 pm

    I do not have children yet (though I will have one in April!), so I have not experienced much hanging around maternity wards in hospitals, and I apologize if the following question is stupid.

    Are you allowed to light up a cigar in a hospital? I mean, I understand that this would obviously be a much different kind of rule than, you know, using illegal substances, but the wording of the sentence kind of makes you think that if he had just started smoking tobacco all would have been fine.

  2. empirechick
    November 11, 2010 12:30 pm

    He was in the smoking area outside the hospital. A nurse went out for a cigarette and notified hospital security.

  3. red pen mama
    November 11, 2010 1:14 pm

    Dumb, yes. In his defense, his baby mama probably got all the good drugs. (And if she didn’t, shame on him for being so selfish.)

    @silica, no smoking even the celebratory cigar inside, but I fully endorse breaking out the bubbly. ;)

  4. Shibori
    November 11, 2010 1:17 pm

    I knew even before I heard where this happened that it was another Fayette County story. We aren’t all stupid potheads. Or at least most of us know not to:
    A. Send your pot to school in your grade schoolers’ backpack and then call the school looking for it.
    B. Take your pot to the police station for testing if you think you’re getting scammed.
    C. Smoke pot at a friggin hospital!

  5. BeauJacques
    November 11, 2010 1:26 pm

    I’m laying 50 to 1 odds he votes straight Dem ticket also!

    Any takers?

  6. Angry Mongo
    November 11, 2010 1:31 pm

    Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo ganja, too!

  7. Silica
    November 11, 2010 1:42 pm

    @red pen mama

    Makes much more sense. I forgot that hospitals even had designated smoking areas (guess I’m lucky I no longer live right next to one and walk by 10 or 20 people with IVs in their arms or oxygen tanks lighting up.)

    I am with you on the bubbly, though of course when my baby is born I won’t be able to indulge. But I’m sure the husband will more than happily imbibe my share. He’s so thoughtful in that way! ;)

  8. spoon
    November 11, 2010 1:47 pm

    When Teaspoon was born I walked out of Mercy and got a free dime bag from a dude in the Hill. They may shoot each other but goddamn they’re nice to the new dads.

    Can’t wait to see what they do for my next kid in a couple of months. I could use a bottle of Thunberbird

  9. red pen mama
    November 11, 2010 1:49 pm

    @beaujacques, I vote straight Dem. I don’t smoke weed.

    @silica, eh, you can have a sip. :)

    @spoon, dude! if we end up delivering at Mercy, I’ll have to let Dan know!

  10. unsatisfied
    November 11, 2010 1:52 pm

    who’s the new pops, wiz khalifa?

  11. Cassie
    November 11, 2010 2:09 pm

    Wow. In a few years do we get to look forward to the Police Blotter about him forcing his two year old to smoke pot? Oh wait, that just happened last year.

    Yet another reason I’d love to be the sterility fairy.

  12. bluzdude
    November 11, 2010 3:01 pm

    “I was gonna be a brand new dad, until I got high.
    He was just a little lad, and so I got high.
    (Da dut dut duh duh duh)
    Now I’m in the county slam, and mama’s mad.
    Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high…”

  13. BeauJacques
    November 11, 2010 3:36 pm


    But the bet, (50:1) is for this idiot.

    or/and a 100:1 parlay with the idiot rapper Khalifer or whatever his name is…

  14. parkingchair
    November 11, 2010 3:38 pm

    Just a few weeks ago, another Uniontown man was arrested when he called the police to check out the “nasty smelling” pot he just bought to make sure it was OK.

    Who is failing the people of Uniontown more – the schools or the pot dealers?

  15. BeauJacques
    November 11, 2010 3:40 pm

    Whiz Queefer?

  16. megrcam51
    November 11, 2010 3:53 pm

    As the mother of a 4 week old baby — I ask you who deserves a buzz more than a new parent? LOL

  17. Sooska
    November 11, 2010 6:58 pm

    why are all these pot stories coming out of Fayette County? oh…yeah. Country Club Republicans one and all.

    Laszlo Toth should write a new book about product use directions.

  18. Pa-pop
    November 11, 2010 8:38 pm

    I dunno. Tuesday may have been an off day for Santonio Holmes. What say we check hospital surveillance video for black SUVs sporting Jets license frames? “J-E-T-S [long sucking sound] Jets! [cough, cough] Jets, man…”

  19. bucdaddy
    November 12, 2010 2:28 am

    Dude! Over here, in the cancer ward! Little sympathy, my man!