Monthly Archives: December 2010

Random n’at.

1. Internet, my house is actually out of milk and toilet paper. So I have to send my husband to the grocery store for milk and toilet paper. During a snow “event.”

I am strongly considering telling him to pick up bread as well, just so he can look like one of those snOMG-fools at the register with only milk, bread, and toilet paper in their hands and the fear of God’s wrath in their eyes.

If I were very brave, I’d tell him to throw a box of condoms on the belt too and then snap a picture of the cashier’s face.

2. For months now, when you search for anything on the Post-Gazette’s website via their search box, it spits out PG-blog post after PG-blog post in the results. Finding an actual news article has become ludicrously difficult, so I’ve been using Google’s site specific search for the time being.

But seriously, P-G, get on that like french fries on a chicken salad from a pizza place already.

3.  Here’s a website Woy first showed me, Yinzpiration, in which the writer of the blog, Kate Showalter (who is beautiful), interviews Burghers who have compelling backgrounds and/or stories and/or experiences.

I’m particularly in love with her latest interview subject, Jesse Landis-Eigsti, who recently moved to Pittsburgh and who wrote a Super Mario Bros. opera.


I also learned he has a blog, Jesse Reviews the World, and just a quick read of the first few posts, it is one of the most well-written blogs I’ve ever read.

Tickets are those random acts of unkindness that seem to signify that your worst suspicions about the world are true: yes, the Man hates you; yes, you are singled out for punishment; and no, there is no frigging Santa Claus.

I’m a new fan of both Yinzpiration and Jesse Landis-Eigsti.

I wonder how you pronounce Eigsti.

I’m going with Eye-g-stee.

It is now so.

4. Make-A-Wish Foundation of Greater Pennsylvania, obviously one of my most favorite charities, is making it SUPER easy for you to donate a few bucks to sick kids this Christmas.

To make a one-time $5 donation, supporters can text WISH to 90999 anytime throughout the month of December and can donate up to five times per phone number. The donation of $5 will be added to your mobile phone bill or deducted from your prepaid account.

Easy peasy! Awesome.

5. Mike Wallace was a cute kid.

(h/t Sonya)

6.  A traveling acupuncturist shared her experiences servicing several Steelers, including the 300 needles James Harrison takes:

She spends roughly 12 hours each Thursday treating at least 10 players at Farrior’s house, where the Steelers hold their men’s “spa night” featuring acupuncture. Ripi cooks dinner for them, and they play cards while they wait turns. She starts with nose tackle Casey Hampton at 3:30 p.m. and finishes with Harrison roughly 12 hours later.

I imagine Casey Hampton takes 600 needles the size of small harpoons.

Somebody alert the Whale Wars crew.

(h/t Aileen)

7. Our local beer guys at Should I Drink That have been nominated for a Podcast Award. This is a big deal!

Go vote for them in the Food and Drink category (scroll down). You don’t have to fill out the whole ballot or anything.

8. Jim Shearer kills it, as per his usual.

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9. My sister Pens Fan walked into her family room the other day and found her one-year-old inside a claw toy machine. LOL. Just kidding. She found her sitting on the couch with her nose buried into a piece of literature, looking at every page intently … this piece of literature to be exact:

She’s being raised right.

10. TWELVE!!


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The clawwwwww.

When I heard a two-year-old climbed into a claw machine at Ross Park Mall The Mall at Robinson after her mother looked away for “a moment,” I was all, “Yeah, right. ‘A moment.’ [Pssh.]”

But seriously, watch the video. They show a little girl can squirm up there faster than you can say, “The claw chooses who will stay and who will go.”

Of course the commenters on the story over at WTAE are taking the mother to task like Judgey McJudgers.

GOD gives you children for you to take care of them.. love them.. and share there life.. IF you dont care for them.. they will DIE.. or get hurt.. for the love of god.. WATCH them. or he will take them back.. god bless. this little girl you have another chance.. as a mother..

Good ending for a unresponsible mother……..and please at 2yrs old she should NOT have a pacifer.

Slacker parents who don’t watch their kids need to be bashed. It is bad enough that the child is 2 and sucking away on a pacifier. At 2 a child should not be roaming freely around a food court, let alone out of view/reach of the mother.

The mother was probably terrified and here’s a bunch of strangers getting on her because her two-year-old still uses a pacifier. That’s classy.

Here’s something I have learned as a mother. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever judge another mother for things like this because the Karma Boomerang is vicious in its haste to dole out mommyhood payback.

Mock a mother whose child throws temper tantrums? Your child will throw an epic temper tantrum in the middle of a crowded airport for twenty minutes until she vomits from screaming.

Mock a mother for allowing her two-year-old to still have a pacifier? You’ll be breaking your son of his when he’s three and a half.

Mock a mother whose three-year-old is still in Pull-Ups? You’ll spend a tear-filled stressful month trying to train your  3 and a half-year-old to use the potty.

Mock a mother for turning her back on her child in a crowd? You’ll be frantically searching the gift shop in Idlewild for your child who was RIGHT HERE TWO SECONDS AGO.

I’m not condoning lax parenting; but this was not a child roaming the streets in traffic or left home alone or left alone with a loaded gun.

Give the woman a break, Pittsburgh.

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This is getting ridic.

Today is Steeler Sunday.

It is rainy and 40 degrees outside.

The rain will change to snow later this evening as a cold front rolls in.

We are expecting 2 – 3 inches of snow by tomorrow, Monday.

We may see a whopping 3-5 inches of snow total by Tuesday.

Don’t go out if you don’t absolutely have to during the snow and ice event,” city Public Works director Robert Kaczorowski warned.

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Oh, Christmas Tree

The first Christmas tree I put up in our first apartment was an affront to taste.

I made blue and silver bows from ribbon and stuck them all over the tree and then loaded it with blue and silver balls with so much glitter it looked like Barbie puked on it. I assume Barbie vomits glitter and poops sweet-tarts.

I then made a giant blue and silver ribbon that adorned the very top of the tree. I stepped back and said, “This tree is beautiful and doesn’t look at all like the bastard lovechild of Gaudy and Garish.” My new husband, a newly minted permanent resident at the time, stepped back and probably thought, “America hurts my eyes and I wish my wife would stop trying to get me to say ‘focus'”

Each year since, my tree has become less “BOOM! [glitter spray]” and more an inviting, warmly lit tree filled with handmade or classic ornaments that have meaning to me and/or my children and husband. The garland is made of red and green wooden beads and the tree is filled with snowflakes, angels, reindeer and knitted mittens in addition to the occasional handmade-at-school ornament made with love.

This year, we added two new completely unique ornaments to the tree thanks to the awesome folks over at The Pittsburgh Glass Center, where in addition to glass-making classes, once a month you can spend 10 minutes making your very own crafts. At their invitation, I headed down with my son to try one of their Make-it-Now workshops.

Here I am looking inquisitive in safety glasses while learning about how red and white mixed will make a yucky brown color, so don’t choose those two.

(photo courtesy of Nathan J. Shaulis)

When I blew my ornament, I kept taking little breaths, afraid I would make a mistake and cause exploding glass to litter the place.

But when my son made his, he acted like he was in charge of personally sending a rocket into orbit with just the sheer force of his lungs.

His ornament, it turned out, is bigger than mine.

He chose green and red swirled while I chose red and blue swirled. We picked them up a few days later, tied some ribbon on them and now we have two new ornaments to go with our new memories.

I can’t encourage you enough to check the Glass Center out. Their next Make-it-Now workshop is in January where you can make glass beads and tiles, but I’m particularly excited for the February workshop celebrating Valentine’s Day.

Now, I’m going to go see if I can find pictures of that hideously decorated Christmas tree, but I imagine those photographs committed suicide from the self-hate by now.

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You go be awesome.

Three Pens posts in a row. Whoops.

Since the fire, readers have been sending me emails here and there with links to awesome things on the Internet meant to put a smile on my face.

It’s how I discovered and how I discovered this amazing flash mob.

It’s also how I discovered this adorable video of Max Talbot being the quintessential Max Talbot:

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Much love.

(h/t Aidan’s Mom)

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