And we’re back.

Where were we?

Right, hiatus.

You guys, I needed it. So much. I shut down everything. The blog. Appointments. Writing. Social events. Hair. Makeup. And it did what it was supposed to do. It was supposed to refresh me, help me gain perspective regarding the fiery curve ball December threw at us, give me time to spend with my family and my sisters, help me figure out the WTF of a sudden, never-before-experienced onset of panic/anxiety attacks.

Never in my mumble mumble years have I ever been sitting in my cozy living room, watching a movie with my husband, when suddenly my heart starts racing and a feeling of doom lays down on my shoulders with enough weight to take my breath away. I assume that’s an anxiety attack, but I didn’t want to Google my symptoms and find out I was actually coming down with tuberculosis. So I diagnosed myself with anxiety and blamed it on the jerkface fire.

I treated myself with tequila, kahlua, family, friends, food and love and those attacks have gone away almost entirely.

My hiatus in a few nutshells:

Pecan.

Walnut.

Hazelnut.

HAH! Kidding.

1. Used my father’s laptop to type in www.dicks.com when I wanted to find a kickass Winter Classic tassel hat. Whoops? Internet, Dicks Sporting Goods needs to change its name to something much less phallusy. Also, Woy hooked me up with the hat I wanted. This one:

It’s pretty much sold out everywhere, but search eBay for 2011 Winter Classic Penguins Tassel Hat and you might luck out.

2. Got addicted to Dexter, the Showtime series, thanks to my husband. I thought he was going to cry when Burgher Julie Benz died.  If you’re going to comment that I just spoilered an episode that aired two years ago starring an actress that is no longer on the show because she has a new show, then let me also inform you that Darth Vader is Luke’s father, he sees Bruce Willis because Bruce is dead, and Jerry had her at hello. HE HAD HER AT HELLO.

3. This conversation happened when my nephew was putting contact information into my sister-in-law’s new iPhone for her:

Nephew: Next?

Princess Aurora: Uncle David.

Nephew: How do you want his name put in?

Princess Aurora: [jokingly] Put it under Sexy Mexican.

Princess Aurora’s husband, sitting nearby: Sexican!

4. Watched about five hours of America’s Funniest Home Videos with my son, who has declared it his new favorite show, thanks to reruns on ABC Family.

Dear ABC Family, why do you run a commercial for the new Ashton Kutcher movie six times during AFV at 6:00 in the evening, a commercial that asks out loud and prints in big giant letters on my TV screen for my son to read, “CAN BEST FRIENDS … BE SEX FRIENDS?”

Please send my son a letter explaining what “sex friends” are ’cause this chick ain’t answering that question, ABC FAMILY, if that is indeed your real name.

5. Watched my father attempt Just Dance for Kids for Wii. Picture it. A penguin. Getting jiggy with it.

Best thing ever.

6. Discovered that the amount of frito, peanut butter, chocolate dessert I can eat before I can no longer look myself in the eye is half of a cookie sheet. Needless to say, I’m on a diet. Hard. The first phase of my diet involved coming down with the Great Pittsburgh Puke. Did anyone in your family get that? More effective than wasting disease.

7. Broke the news to my son that they haven’t invented light sabers yet. He is one sad puppy.

8. Went to the muddy, rainy wharf on New Years Day morning to watch my husband jump in the Mon with the polar bear lunatics. He said it was cold, but not unbearable. He suffered a few mysterious cuts to his hands (river piranhas?) and his skin itched until he showered. I’ll let you know when he’s admitted to the hospital with a brain-eating amoeba or tuberculosis. Reckless sexican.

Also, Reckless Sexican would make a great luchador name.

9. Almonds.

10. Filberts.

It’s good to be back!





42 Comments

  1. andrea
    January 3, 2011 8:20 am

    Welcome back… you were missed!



  2. BeauJacques
    January 3, 2011 8:56 am

    Happy New Year!!!!!!!!! :-)



  3. tw
    January 3, 2011 9:06 am

    So good to have you back Ginny!!



  4. gunnlino
    January 3, 2011 9:19 am

    I grew up in the ‘Burgh and I’m old enough to recall all the stuff that has been dumped into the rivers around here. I think anyone who jumps into any river near the ‘Burgh requires a bleach shower and be medicated.
    Otherwise Happy Near Year to you and all your family . May you be blessed with good health and good fortune.



  5. Gina
    January 3, 2011 9:31 am

    Lunatics? Not me. I prefer Batshit Crazy Dumbass.



  6. Juli
    January 3, 2011 9:32 am

    the great pittsburgh puke, still going strong over here. 3 weeks and counting. you’re right better then wasting disease, never thought my new diet was going to be this effective but i missed out on all the holiday food.



  7. Cassie
    January 3, 2011 9:34 am

    We don’t they offer antibiotics via a shot in the bum after jumping in the Mon? I mean, it just makes sense.



  8. Cassie
    January 3, 2011 9:34 am

    *Why, not We. It’s early.



  9. Paul
    January 3, 2011 9:41 am

    Speaking of commercials. How about those during NFL games? I understand the demographic they are going for, but I really don’t need the graphic violence most of these commercials have.



  10. Sue
    January 3, 2011 9:51 am

    So glad you’re back – and that your hiatus was successful! Regarding the Pittsburgh Puke and Poop – how come after two or three days of that and not eating my children look emaciated – and I just look bloated??!!



  11. Dash
    January 3, 2011 10:00 am

    I’m glad your back, because I was starting to get anxiety attacks due to not getting my daily dose of “That’s Church” LOL

    Glad you’re back girl!



  12. Noelle
    January 3, 2011 10:11 am

    *clinching eyes shut, gritting teeth* We can make it through winter together.



  13. SpudMom
    January 3, 2011 10:18 am

    Glad to see you again!

    Sorry you got the Pittsburgh Puke. I’m more sorry to hear about the anxiety/panic attacks (and yes, that’s what you had – I’ve seen my husband do it). I’m glad that the break helped. I won’t be the only one to say this, but any help you need, don’t be afraid to ask. Burghers take care of their own and you’re one of us!



  14. Jenny
    January 3, 2011 10:37 am

    My sister also made the unforturnate mistake of typing http://www.dicks.com on her computer at work…funny thing is she said it was more boobs than dicks that popped up. Go figure.



  15. Craig
    January 3, 2011 10:45 am

    Glad you took a break, for your own good, if not ours.



  16. bluzdude
    January 3, 2011 10:46 am

    1) Welcome back! We’ve missed you.

    2) Gah!! I don’t get Showtime and just watched the first 2 seasons of Dexter on DVD. (I’m late to the party… so sue me.) I guess now I know not to get too attached to Rita.



  17. BeauJacques
    January 3, 2011 10:49 am

    Darth Vader is Luke’s father??? OMG!!!



  18. #1 WI Steeler Fan
    January 3, 2011 10:49 am

    So glad you are back, and starting to get back to your old self.
    Re:#6- The Pittsburgh Puke made it’s way to Wisconsin. Husband woke up at 130 am and for some reason decided to go into the kitchen to puke. Missed the garbage can and sink- so I was mopping up lots and lots of awfulness in the middle of the night. Yuch. Moved a trash can to his side of the bed and went to sleep on the couch. I really must love him, huh?



  19. jamie
    January 3, 2011 10:52 am

    SO glad you are back! you were definitely missed!! the great pittsburgh puke missed our house, thank goodness, but i believe it hit just about everyone else i know!



  20. Uncle Crappy
    January 3, 2011 10:59 am

    At some point last year, I was wanted to find a quick list of Dick’s stores for a story I was working on about the company’s new headquarters. And of course, I typed dicks.com into the browser to find the answer.

    Did I mention that I was at work? Yeah…



  21. Angry Mongo
    January 3, 2011 11:46 am

    I’m glad you’re back. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to my stack of taped tv shows. Don’t ruin anything else for me. I think something just happened to JR and that Ross and Rachel should get together.



  22. Lesley
    January 3, 2011 11:49 am

    Glad you are back! I would find myself coming to the site even tho I knew you were on hiatus just to make sure you hadn’t posted anything. I’m sorry you have the Pittsburgh Puke. I had the Tennessee Trots and Pukes version which helped me lose 8 pounds for the new year.



  23. bucdaddy
    January 3, 2011 12:31 pm

    6. All of us in the ‘Daddy house and some other relatives for good measure (that’s what Ohioans get for crossing the border).

    8. Never in a million years. Doesn’t he know that the Mon is crawling with those thingies that like to swim up a guy’s … thingie? We stock the Mon with them by the truckload down here in West By-God as part of our little border war with silly Pennsyv … oh, crap, I let the secret out. Bad, bucdaddy!



  24. addie
    January 3, 2011 12:36 pm

    I had the puke, and my one-year-old got it too. The actual puking only lasted one day, thankfully. It’s seriously all over town.

    Welcome back!



  25. Beth
    January 3, 2011 1:28 pm

    Welcome back! I got addicted to Dexter and watched all five seasons in about three weeks. Thank God I’m on semester break. Love, love, love the show, but since I finished Season 5 on New Year’s Day, I’ve been excited that I can finally have my life back.



  26. LaReina
    January 3, 2011 1:57 pm

    The PP went downriver, too, from what I hear. People in the Northern Panhandle were pretty darn sick over the holidays. Welcome back.



  27. Dan (Not Onorato)
    January 3, 2011 2:05 pm

    The entire fam-a-lee had the Pittsburgh Puke/Poo here right before Christmas.

    had to pull the trigger on my own before I started feeling better…took about a week to be “considered” 100%



  28. Carol
    January 3, 2011 2:07 pm

    Glad to have you back, here’s to a much better new year for everyone.

    Btw, if you google “Real Light Saber” … they are out there. There are also a lot of toy versions your son might like.

    <3 Dexter.



  29. debbiebear51
    January 3, 2011 2:46 pm

    We missed you too, Ginny!!! Glad to hear you had a great holiday! We missed the puke-a-thon here, but were instead invaded by the Phlegm-Eating Zombies of Christmas Past, thanks to my older son bringing it w/him from college! Much love to you and your family, Happy New Year!



  30. Betoon
    January 3, 2011 4:05 pm

    You were missed – and am glad you are back. Thought daughter had PP – turned out to be Gall Bladder, which she has named “the jerk!” Hope that once the jerk is removed all we be well in the lovely hamlet of Whitehall. Almost fell in the river biking riding by the point. Would have taken a light saber to myself if that had happened. Anxiety attacks – bad stuff – rest, good talk and a strong drink are just what the doctor recommends.



  31. tim
    January 3, 2011 5:39 pm

    So glad you are back! We all missed You very much.



  32. Clair
    January 3, 2011 6:47 pm

    welcome back! :) everyone needs a break once in a while :)



  33. HeatherB
    January 3, 2011 6:49 pm

    Yeah, the whole commercial thing… what’s up with the Trojan personal massager commercial?! Seriously it came on ALL day on Christmas while I was watching Star Wars with my parents! EEK!



  34. Rachel
    January 3, 2011 6:58 pm

    So glad you are back! I actually had to work instead of reading your blog on my phone!



  35. Angry Mongo
    January 3, 2011 7:36 pm

    @HeatherB LOL.
    Yeah, for being a *ahem* “massager” the guy was way more excited than the girl.

    “YES! Now, I can watch NFL network instead!”



  36. Stellabella
    January 3, 2011 8:02 pm

    Missed you, Ginny, but glad you got a little refreshed. Don’t be afraid of meds for those anxiety attacks, they can be crippling!

    And the commercial thing, this bugs the living daylights out of me! They were running the same commercial during Elf on NYE. We were watching it with our kids too and had to use swift distraction techniques.

    And I had no idea the Pittsburgh Pukes were going around. Now I’m terrified of us catching it.



  37. Leenyburgh
    January 3, 2011 9:02 pm

    I had the Pgh Puke just before Christmas. Worst and best thing — I lost 5 lbs and easily gained them back, so I broke even. I’m glad you’re back!



  38. Eeek
    January 4, 2011 1:20 am

    Filberts! hahaha



  39. LC
    January 4, 2011 7:39 am

    Welcome back. I missed your humor which gets me through the day at my boring law firm job……….



  40. Barb
    January 4, 2011 7:39 am

    Yay! Glad you’re back.

    I also made the same http://www.dicks.com mistake on a work computer. I couldn’t close those pop-up windows fast enough!

    Third year for me jumping! Yes, we’re crazy, but you have to try it at least once!



  41. Sam@PGC
    January 4, 2011 2:18 pm

    Frito peanut butter chocolate what? Recipe please!

    Diets be damned.



  42. LIsa
    January 4, 2011 10:38 pm

    The Puke is still with us (not unlike The Force, but not in a good way). Personally, I am on the third night of it, although technically it’s now moved to the other end. Which, bad as it sounds, is somewhat easier to deal with. I have friends who are still dealing with it after a week – and they missed all of New Year’s, which I thankfully did not.