Random n’at

1. Several of you have asked about that evil Frito, peanut butter, chocolate dessert that I ate a half a cookie sheet of, and well, far be it from me to withhold this recipe sure to increase the cottage cheese deposits on your ass. If it’s a chunky butt you want, then a chunky butt you shall have.

My sister Tina Fey in Texas, who doesn’t have an ounce of chunk on her butt somehow, is the one who makes this. Funky Frito Fruckies.

They’re fruckin’ addictive.

2. I watched Demolition Man the other night, and in addition to catching a glimpse of Dan Cortese in it, I had forgotten how much I loved the way they talked in this movie.

Mellow greetings.

Murder death kill.

Verbal morality statute.

Enhance your calm.

Next time my children are fighting and screaming at each other, I’m going to yell, “ENHANCE YOUR CALMS!”

It will be a nice change of pace from my usual reaction which is dumping two shots of Kahlua in my coffee.

3. I’m not an alcoholic. I just play one on the Internet.

4. Burgh Baby explores how two sets of pictures of a child in action at the PPG plaza can be interpreted differently by a mother and how she chooses to look at life.  This is one. This is another. Which kind of mother are you?

I’m the kind that puts two shots of Kahlua in my coffee.

5. Motherfrucker could be a nice replacement for motherbleeper. Hmm. Must consider that.

6. I have a new post up at Pittsburgh Magazine’s site, this one outlining my resolutions as they relate to Pittsburgh. There’s a traffic resolution, a politics resolution, a Mr. Rogers resolution, and a resolution to eat at a place that many of you will be shocked I’ve never visited, especially considering I spent YEARS working walking distance from it.

Don’t judge me!

Go have a read.

7. Shaun Suisham talks about the Winter Classic, is adorable.

(h/t Amy)

8. An awesome Burgh shirt! I’m going to assume those aren’t pigeons though.

Definitely look like hawks to me.

9. February 12. David Conrad. The Warhol.

Step off, motherfruckers.

(h/t Jen)

10. Taylor Swift is coming to Heinz Field this summer. I wonder, if we treat her bad enough, will she write an angry song about us?

Ba-ba-BAH!

11. From Yahoo!:

A Pittsburgh man’s home has been leveled after city officials say a contractor mistakenly demolished it along with a neighboring house.

Sheesh.

Hide yo kids. Hide yo wife. Hide yo house. They razin’ errybody.

Have I said this yet?

Ba-ba-BAH!

Try the veal!

(h/t Cari)





17 Comments

  1. T
    January 6, 2011 2:26 pm

    “Not that I’m one of those raging lunatics that sits in a car parked in traffic on Grant Street and bangs her fists violently against the steering wheel.”

    Oops, you must have been next to me in traffic recently! I am so this person. I think I am a normal, well-behaved human being until you throw me into traffic. It’s pretty embarrassing.



  2. John in the Rocks
    January 6, 2011 2:36 pm

    I, too, watched Demolition Man the other night. I’d forgotten all about the crazy way they address one another as well as Sly kicking some major ass all over tax cheat Wesley Snipes.



  3. Aileen
    January 6, 2011 3:01 pm

    Shaun Suisham is adorable, Max Talbot is adorable, Dan Bylsma in a fedora is adorable (or maybe he’s fedorable).

    I’ll tell you who isn’t – the Alex (the Infidel)Ovechkin and his foul-mouthed coach, Bruce Boudreau. He looks like Elmer Fudd minus the big hat.



  4. Kathy
    January 6, 2011 3:19 pm

    I’m definitely #1, with a touch of #2 if they are acting inappropriate for the environment… say dancing around a restaurant? not cool. dancing around an outdoor center? rock it, honey.



  5. IKNAB
    January 6, 2011 3:20 pm

    “English Motherfrucker! Do you speak it?”?? Meh.



  6. Joe K.
    January 6, 2011 4:03 pm

    I need to do the Ducky tour some day, it seems like it would be fun. Maybe this spring.

    We will NOT treat Taylor Swift badly. We are better than that. We want her to write a love song to us. Be lovers, not fighters.

    Demolishing the wrong house is just too funny.



  7. USCMike
    January 6, 2011 6:27 pm

    Gotta hand it to the demolition team, they never read the memo from the city, telling them to NOT tear down this guy’s house. I guess reading is not as much fun as wrecking a house, so why bother?

    On another note, the hard drive in my DVR is now a little cleaner after the Boudreau left the building… He did try and clean it up a little bit in episodes 3 and 4, but it’s clear that he’s one of those folks who’s raised the use of the ‘fruck’ word to new levels.

    Of course, even Sid got to use it in last night’s episode during his discourse with the ref over not getting a penalty shot during the Winter Classic. That was one funny segment!



  8. Noelle
    January 6, 2011 7:59 pm

    I had to organize the Ducky Tour for a delegation of Chinese visitors one year and it was a riot. I got the script before hand so that our PhD student translator could actually do the speaking and it was so riddled with outdated information I had to research and correct whole sections. I’m quite certain they are now using my version today, and for free. Sigh…



  9. Clementine
    January 6, 2011 9:02 pm

    1. Sounds disgusting, which pretty much guarantees I will eat an entire pan and become addicted.

    7. Yowza, our kicker is hot.



  10. bucdaddy
    January 7, 2011 2:15 am

    *. It has to be said: That is a motherfrucking ugly shirt.



  11. bucdaddy
    January 7, 2011 2:16 am

    *=8

    Blame the Old No. 7.



  12. REARless
    January 7, 2011 9:33 am

    #8 Nice boobs..I mean shirt, I mean shirt, really nice shirt!



  13. Elle C.
    January 7, 2011 9:59 am

    #1: That recipe has 1 cup(!) of corn syrup and one cup of sugar in it!! It could also be called ‘Sugar Crack Fruckies’.



  14. troysussaves
    January 7, 2011 10:00 am

    what would it take to get everyone to call shaun suisham “squishy?”



  15. Christina
    January 7, 2011 10:13 am

    7) Jeff Who????
    I mean … Shaun is a damn good kicker & he is HOT & he seems to be a really nice person. Lucky us!

    9) I am mad at the Warhol Museum people for bad scheduling. Two weeks too early for me *hmph*.



  16. Matthew
    January 10, 2011 9:58 pm

    Mothertrucker.



  17. Megan
    January 12, 2011 9:50 pm

    1) Funky Frito Fruckies reminds me of the skinniest person I know living off of giant canisters filled with fritos, M&M’s and peanut butter chips.
    7) Yay Shaun.
    8) Awesome shirt!