A brand new Annoying Burgher

It has been a while, has it not, since we’ve had to brand a Burgher with the official Annoying label.

I can’t remember the last person I named as an Annoying Burgher. Let me go check, which should be easy because my blog’s search function doesn’t suck a bag of you know whatsits (h/t Ice T), like youknowwhosits (rhymes with Most Pazettes).

Here we are, the last Annoying Burghers were those dismal parents who used their baby’s diaper to hide illegal drugs.

That was last August.

We made it all the way to mid-January! Do you think I should add a page to the site where we chronicle all the Annoying Burghers in one place? Like a Hall of Shame?

How’s this for Annoying?

A 43-year-old Sewickley mother has pleaded guilty to plying her 14-year-old son’s friends with wine and sexy clothing in an effort to seduce them, going so far as to take one of the boys to her bedroom during the party, where she pinned him to a wall and groped him and kissed him before his friends rescued him.

This, Internet, is illegal.

Charges were brought after her own son reported her to the police. Ouch.

Her attorney had this to say:

Her defense attorney, Patrick Thomassey, blamed what happened on the woman being lonely and drunk.

Mr. Thomassey went on to say that what happened with the boys is like a “rite of passage.”

“I’d have kept my mouth shut, and said, ‘wow’ to my buddies,” he told Allegheny County Judge David R. Cashman. “No one got hurt. There has been no inference this has affected them in a negative way.”

I’m sorry. This is such an amazing degree of annoying that I need to be sure I’ve never named Mr. Thomassey as Annoying Burgher before. Maybe he already has a crown/flaming bag of poo? Let me check.

Nope. No crown. No poo. Until now.

He gets his crown for condoning what would be considered attempted rape had it been a man doing the seducing of a 16-year-old girl.

He gets his crown for even breathing the slightest hint that this was anything but disgustingly wrong.

He gets his crown for giving me a case of heebie jeebies so acute, I might have an actual medical condition.

He gets his crown in the mail and by crown I mean the sincere hope that he doesn’t have a daughter who goes through this one day, only to have a slimy defense attorney tell her it was just a rite of passage and that she should have kept her mouth shut and said “wow” to her friends.

[shudder]

Now I’m going to go look at pictures of David Conrad until my heebie jeebies go away.





39 Comments

  1. BB
    January 14, 2011 12:19 pm

    i saw this yesterday (yesterday? day before? no, yesterday. i think) and thought the exact same thing. then i went to tell my lawyer husband, who stood there and laughed, claiming i was making it up. nope. he didn’t believe me. “here, LOOK! READ WHAT IT SAYS!” he stood there dumbfounded, unable to believe that he really did say that and that is his actual strategy to defend the woman.

    this attorney is one horrible, horrible man. i hope the judge holds him in contempt for even thinking that this is ok.



  2. Kathy
    January 14, 2011 12:22 pm

    I think there IS a that ‘rite of passage’ mentality. If it’s a woman, it’s a rite of passage and if it’s a man, they must be gay. But it’s what makes little boys afraid to say anything when some pedophile gets loose with them. Hopefully those beliefs will start to lessen with time. Oh, and I’ve been drunk and lonely a time or two and not felt the need to molest boys… make it a big bag of poo.



  3. LaReina
    January 14, 2011 12:27 pm

    In what culture is that behavior a rite of passage? NAMBLAland?



  4. G-Man
    January 14, 2011 12:39 pm

    Just days before Christmas, a close family friend passed away at 37 from cancer. She was a lawyer and a unique one in that she was such a very admirable person in terms of character. I pointed out to the kids that she may just be the only lawyer in heaven. Guys like the one in this article helps explain that situation.



  5. SpudMom
    January 14, 2011 12:56 pm

    As the mother of two boys, thank you. I have the same case of heebie jeebies that you do.

    No harm? Maybe not physical but you can damn bet there’s some psychological harm.



  6. Pa-pop
    January 14, 2011 12:59 pm

    Thomassey’s remark is right up there with Bobby Knight’s “I think that if rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it” when the then Indiana University basketball coach was interviewed by Connie Chung years ago. In Knight’s case, he was making a ham-fisted attempt to draw an analogy to bad officiating. Thomassey is simply living in an American Pie world gone moldy, a place where no officer of the court has any business being.



  7. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    January 14, 2011 1:07 pm

    As a lawyer, I know this woman is entitled to the best legal defense she can get. Thomassey’s is well known for taking these high profile type cases. A lawyer has to vigorously fight for his client. However, remarks like this to the media have no place and are, in my opinion, reprehensible. But, if you were to do a google search, you will find that Mr. Thomassey likes to try his cases in the media, hoping that someone who may end up in the jury pool may remember that sound bite.



  8. Bram R
    January 14, 2011 1:21 pm

    Lonely and drunk is a valid excuse for things, now? Ladies and gentlemen, START YOUR BENDERS!



  9. Greg
    January 14, 2011 1:23 pm

    I have know Pat Thomassey for many years, and respect him. The snip-it said this was his in court argument, and not a remark to the media. I believe he was hired to provide a zealous defense to the case and was doing just that.



  10. Legallypgh(Kathy)
    January 14, 2011 1:35 pm

    Greg: As a lawyer myself, the fact that the snippet was his “in court argument” makes it even WORSE! This wasn’t a casual statement he made in passing, which the media happened to pick up on, NO! — this was his actual legal argument!! Scary and shocking.



  11. Summer
    January 14, 2011 1:37 pm

    So gross — both the mom and the lawyer. If a woman did this to my son, she wouldn’t have to worry about being drunk and lonely ever again, because she’d have plenty of company in hell.



  12. SpudMom
    January 14, 2011 1:39 pm

    DItto what Legallypgh said! There is no place for this kind of argument or defense. What she did was illegal and dismissing it with “no one got hurt” and “I would have said ‘wow’ to my friends” is disgusting and dismissive. Just because this woman was trying to play out some Mrs. Robinson fantasy doesn’t mean any of the boys involved were interested in obliging her.



  13. mfj
    January 14, 2011 1:42 pm

    I read a great exchange in “Moonlight Mile,” the latest from Dennis Lehane, between a guy who’s been having sex with a 16-year-old girl, and a private detective.
    “In some cultures, what I did is perfectly acceptable.”
    “Then you should move to one of those cultures, because in this one, you’re just a douchebag.”



  14. Roxy
    January 14, 2011 1:52 pm

    Omg people are crazy. WTF! I have nothing else to say.



  15. Greg
    January 14, 2011 1:58 pm

    I disagree… sometimes, as a lawyer Kathy/Mom, you are forced to make arguments you do not necessarily agree with personally.



  16. Karen
    January 14, 2011 2:14 pm

    This guy is so obnoxious and totally wrong. He and James Ecker should go into business together, then the area’s scumbags wouldn’t have to decide between phone numbers. These two loser-lawyers have represented every reprehensible, guilty, wife-beating, child-molesting individual to hit the courts in the last 15 years. Bring on the crowns and ginormous flaming bags of poo! (Ah, that feels better!)



  17. Pa-pop
    January 14, 2011 2:17 pm

    “I’d have … said ‘wow’ to my buddies” is a terribly misguided opinion and hardly a zealous argument based on case law and sound legal research.



  18. Cassie
    January 14, 2011 2:23 pm

    @Greg, I agree with Legally Kathy. How is that a legal defense? Imagine if she got her way. That, my friend, is illegal. And immoral. And just plain icky. I hope you don’t have kids.



  19. LaReina
    January 14, 2011 2:29 pm

    I’m a retired lawyer myself, and I still find his comment reprehensible. Somewhere in this great land is a criminal defense attorney with some sense of morality… I hope.



  20. Suburban Nor'Side Girl
    January 14, 2011 2:32 pm

    “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” Shakespeare must have known a few like Mr. Thomassey when he wrote that line.



  21. TripleC
    January 14, 2011 2:40 pm

    Is it possible that criminal defense attorney’s can be more slimey than those in the “we don’t get money unless we get money for you” crowd?

    I’m sure Atty Jackwad would feel exactly the same if this happened to his 14 year old son, riiiight.



  22. facie
    January 14, 2011 2:40 pm

    Yes, I think you should add a page for all Annoying Burghers. I can think of a few from this week alone!

    But for today and tomorrow (and perhaps but hopefully not Sunday), my hate (or strong dislike, because I try not to be a hater) goes to the Ravens and their fans.



  23. Aileen
    January 14, 2011 2:53 pm

    In the interest of full disclosure, I know Pat Thomassey – and find it difficult that Pat would say something like that.



  24. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    January 14, 2011 2:56 pm

    @Suburban Nor’Side Girl — the great thing about that quote from Henry VI is that in the context of the play, it’s not intended to be derogatory to lawyers at all.

    Shakespeare was actually complimenting the legal profession as the front line defenders of democracy.

    The line is said by the character Dick the Butcher, a follower of anarchist Jack Cade (who is depicted by Shakespeare as “the head of an army of rabble and a demagogue pandering to the ignorant,” and who sought to overthrow the government). Shakespeare’s acknowledgment that the first thing any potential tyrant must do to eliminate freedom is to “kill all the lawyers” is, intended as a compliment to the legal profession, which was held in high regard during Shakespeare’s time.



  25. Suburban Nor'Side Girl
    January 14, 2011 3:18 pm

    @Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl I just love when people assume that they are the only ones who know anything. I used the quote because, IMO, it was apropos to Virginia’s post. Which, BTW, has absolutely nothing to do with Henry VI. But thanks for the lesson anyway.



  26. CrashJK
    January 14, 2011 3:23 pm

    Any pics of the “mom”…was she hot ?



  27. AModelCitizen
    January 14, 2011 3:25 pm

    “I’d have kept my mouth shut, and said, ‘wow’ to my buddies,”
    umm, when you have to be ‘rescued’ by friends and HER OWN SON reports it to the police…that is not a time you are going to be saying ‘wow’ to your buddies



  28. CrashJK
    January 14, 2011 3:32 pm

    Ok did a google search…Not Hot…

    care on…

    Go PENS !



  29. Erin
    January 14, 2011 4:57 pm

    She was still a parent, and even at 14, kids expect parents to act certain ways. It’s very disturbing for a child to see his parent drunk and not in control. The son in this situation seemed very upset at this situation – this isn’t just an innocent “rite of passage” situation.

    However, I googled her too and I would say she is hot! http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://files.pittsburghlive.com/photos/2009-12-02/1203sproch-b.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/cityregion/s_655982.html&h=220&w=150&sz=13&tbnid=5ZRF4R2yxrd6cM:&tbnh=107&tbnw=73&prev=/images%3Fq%3D%2522cassandra%2Bsproch%2522&zoom=1&q=%22cassandra+sproch%22&hl=en&usg=__ecuaBCXZSblaaLRo9t76SXSGRng=&sa=X&ei=y7cwTdnlPIGs8Ab6kajmCA&ved=0CB8Q9QEwBA



  30. Shelly
    January 14, 2011 5:34 pm

    Ex-Pat Pat Pittsburgh Girl, thank you for explaining an often misused quote. One of my big pet peeves that people often quote it without understanding the context.



  31. Will C
    January 14, 2011 9:49 pm

    This was a hot topic at the bank. What I found interesting was a lot of the guys said when they were 16 it depended on if she was “hot or not.”

    As much as a double standard it is, and as sad as it is, the lawyer may be trying to tap into that mentality. How that would ever aid in the courtroom I don’t know.



  32. bucdaddy
    January 14, 2011 9:52 pm

    Huh … I thought that was Jerry Springer up there.



  33. Lisa J
    January 14, 2011 10:39 pm

    There was a time when I though teenage boys were hot. It was when I was a teenage girl. But now, at the ripe old age of 33, I see teenage boys and want to tell them to get a hair cut and pull their pants up because they just look ridiculous. Also, were teenagers always annoying? Because they certainly are now. Basically I’m a mom and I think like a mom. There is no excuse for a mom to ever think of her teenage child’s friends as anything other than the KIDS they are. It’s not a right of passage that should be bragged about. It’s disgusting.



  34. IKNAB
    January 15, 2011 12:33 am

    Too bad The Duke didn’t get charged in Georgia. That argument would’ve fit perfectly.



  35. AngryMongo
    January 15, 2011 2:23 am

    @Erin
    She kind of looks like Valerie Bertandernie



  36. Lesley
    January 15, 2011 9:11 am

    Does this man have a wife? Children? ANYONE he loves in life at all?

    I need to make a mental note that being drunk and lonely excuses disgusting behavior. UGH!

    And yes, please… we need a page that logs all of the annoying burghers… lest we start to forget about them, we can always go and refresh our memories. I need to keep this guy’s face fresh in my mind in case I ever see him on the street.



  37. Mandi
    January 15, 2011 4:42 pm

    @Lisa J – thank you for making me laugh out loud, literally! I have often wondered when teenagers became so annoying. I don’t have kids yet, but the way teenagers act, dress, etc. drives me absolutely insane.



  38. John in the Rocks
    January 17, 2011 12:27 am

    There’s a special place in hell reserved for that guy.



  39. Burgh is the Word
    January 17, 2011 12:30 am

    The sheer scumbaggery would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. This guy is going to try and argue this and tie up an already backlogged court system.

    You sir, are a no talent ass-clown

    Is that last name pronounced Tom-ASS-ee?