You guys have been emailing me some awesome stuff over the past month — stuff I’ve been meaning to include in Random n’at posts, but haven’t managed to do it. Because I suck. So let’s get some of these out of the way, and you already know this, but THERE’S GONNA BE SOME PIGEONS!
First, I need to add a two question FAQ to this site and those questions will be this:
1. Have you seen Pigeon: Impossible?!
2. Have you heard Poisoning Pigeons in the Park?!
3. Can I have [enter name of self-united husband]?
Okay, so, THREE questions.
1. Pigeon Tart
Next time you’re at a restaurant staring down at a plate of lowly General Chicken or enchiladas or god forbid, liver and onions, you should wonder aloud why you choose to dine at such boring places when you could be staring down at a plate of Pigeonneau à la St.–Clair.:
A Parisian dish, that, created in 1903 and being the sexy brought back by a current chef who apparently thinks a pigeon claw reaching out at you from his grave in my backyard is appetizing.
I don’t know what else is on that plate, but since it does include a pigeon leg, I’m going to assume you’re looking at a plate of rhinocerous balls, cockroach penises, and rat vomit.
YUMMO! When’s lunch?
2. $200,000 Too Much
I surely hope that chef is using free park pigeons and hasn’t gone and paid $200,000 for a single pigeon.
Because, Internet, there are people on this earth who pay $200,000 for a single effing pigeon.
The coop where Blue Prince lived stands empty now, the racing pigeon gone for good.
At $205,000 for barely a pound of feathers and lightning-fast fowl, Blue Prince has a one-way ticket to pampered retirement and lifelong breeding in China, which these days has become a predictable destination for topflight birds.
Among the new class of wealthy Chinese, many spend their money on fine wines, luxury cars, and “collection of horses, of dogs and pigeons as well,” Yi said.
The wealthy Chinese have collections of pigeons. AND NOT FOR SHOOTING EITHER. WTF?
It goes on:
And with pigeons, Yi said, there is one huge advantage.
“One bottle of wine remains one bottle,” she said. “You have a nice pigeon and it will have more children, grandchildren.”
Exactly! Nightmare! That’s why you kill them before they have babies. This isn’t rocket science. This is pest control!
However, I am STRONGLY considering sending the pigeons I capture to Belgium in the hopes of getting big bucks for them. Do you think it matters if they don’t have heads?
(h/t Luke, expatpittsburghgirl, George, Shawn)
3. Sexhair in SI?
Reader QueenB tells me she heard Tangers is doing something for Sports Illustrated.
Maybe if we all chant “shirtless sexhair shirtless sexhair” enough, it will come to pass.
4. Thank you. Thank yaverymuch.
Does anyone know at what point he left the building?
5. [squeak squeak]
Hey, all 50 of you that emailed me about Mike Tyson and his pigeons? Fist-bump.
(h/t all 50 of you)
6. Peek a boo, dead person, I see you!
The crazy lady (YMMV) who lived with the corpses and talked with the corpses and hell, maybe walked with the corpses, of her dead husband and sister, will be getting their bodies back.
The line about the window gave me heebie jeebies up the wazoo, n’at.
7. A different kind of fast
There’s some other info in there, too.
Letang Clan shirt. Woot!
9. Nom nom
I got so many people emailing me this video, including a few that were all, “I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU HAVEN’T LINKED TO THIS YET. YOU FAIL AT PIGEON HATING.”
Found at Boring Pittsburgh, join us for [British accent] Masterpiece Theatre’s “Hawk Eats Pigeon Head in Downtown Pittsburgh.”
Try not to orgasm.
Need a cig?
(h/t all of yinz, even Jason and Stephanie who sent me the video of a hawk eating a pigeon in Philly)
10. My new favorite thing
[Oprah voice] NEW PIGEON TORTURE METHOD!!!!!!!!!!!
Need another cig?