Wednesday morning quiz.

I’m going to repeat some phrases from an article in the Post-Gazette today and your job, human, is to guess which fearsome monster the article is about.

Ready?

Bites … can lead to scarring and even psychological trauma.

It also can lead to desperate acts.

what’s been described as a “pandemic” and “perfect storm” that’s proven as difficult to control

It’s a growing pandemic requiring urgent action by all stakeholders.

This is a global problem.

“The anxiety about being bitten can lead to sleeplessness, which can affect one’s wellbeing,”

the prehistoric creatures that have been secretly feeding on humans throughout our history.

“It’s definitely here. It’s almost a perfect storm with Columbus, Philadelphia, Dayton and New York. And we’re right in the eye of the storm.”

You guys? Hold me.

Prehistoric creatures that have secretly been feeding on us throughout our history?

A perfect storm?

Psychological trauma?

Time to guess what this article is about:

A.

B.

C.

D.

You’ll never guess.

I’m aware bed bugs are a real issue, but sweet Lord these guys have taken a page from the local television news manual How to Scare the Shit Out of Everyone About Everything.






25 Comments

  1. spoon
    January 26, 2011 10:44 am

    This isn’t a real danger until we see how it ranks on the WPXI “Holy shit sensationalized News-o-Meter” If its Black Widow Bologna level that would mean even stocking up on bread, milk and tp wont save us. we may all die.

    btw, you get props for a Jedi reference.



  2. AngryMongo
    January 26, 2011 10:44 am

    Damn, I said Rancor.



  3. BeauJacques
    January 26, 2011 10:46 am

    I thought it was about Pelosi and Harry Reid, leading up to the Zappala’s!



  4. AngryMongo
    January 26, 2011 10:46 am

    And shame on you for not having a picture of the Squirrel Hill Tunnel, with threat of invisibile monster lurking inside.



  5. Me
    January 26, 2011 10:47 am

    Yinz better sleep with one eye open n’at.

    Seriously, though, those little bugs creep the crap outta me.



  6. Sheila
    January 26, 2011 12:01 pm

    I don’t care about the bed bugs – someone tell me how to get rid of the damn stink bugs!! I swear they are 10 times worse than they were in the summer and I thought they were supposed to be dormant in the cold. Drive me nuts!



  7. Carol
    January 26, 2011 12:17 pm

    @ Sheila #7

    Omg, I find 2-3 every day! My cat was in the family room pouncing on the window sill, and you bet he found one to play with. Then I was reading last nite and one started buzzing the window blind slats. When I opened the blinds, was he there? Nooo…
    I dread the summer.

    Bed bugs. Don’t want to even think about those. Ugh.



  8. G-Man
    January 26, 2011 12:28 pm

    Imagine the scare level if the beg bugs were coming in a wave of snowy weather.



  9. JennyMoon
    January 26, 2011 12:39 pm

    I took a shower with a stinkbug this morning. I’m so used to them now…I just don’t even care.



  10. Christina
    January 26, 2011 1:04 pm

    Seriously …. I HATE BED BUGS! MONSTERS! UGLY BASTARDS! All the reports about bed bugs in Manhattan hotels scare the hell outa me since I’ll stay in one very soon. Checked like a million tripadvisor reviews before booking. So hope I won’t meet one of those little bastards.

    So for me it equals all the other monsters in the pictures *sigh*.



  11. Butcher's Dog
    January 26, 2011 1:05 pm

    Whoever finds a permanent, effective, environment-friendly solution to stinkbugs can write his/her own ticket. Guaranteed. And surprisingly, they don’t have them in this Southern Carolina city I’m snowbirding in at present. Never heard of ’em. Whodathunkit?



  12. unsatisfied
    January 26, 2011 1:22 pm

    @ spoon…..you know who’s worse on that WPXI “Holy shit sensationalized News-o-Meter”? peggy fuckin’ finnegan.

    as for me and bed bugs….it’s a wonder that I’ve EVER been able to sleep. thanks, dad, for saying, “sleep tight…and, don’t let the bed bugs bite” every night when you put me to sleep as a kid….



  13. Pensgirl
    January 26, 2011 1:56 pm

    It was pretty clear that was going to be about bedbugs. They’ve been considered a reemerging threat for a few years now, and they’re notoriously difficult, time-consuming, and costly to get rid of (especially if you have carpeting). I’m pretty sure if I had reason to believe they were in my house, I’d panic about it.

    But, not having read the article, I took those statements as relating to people who have actually had infestations. If I misinterpreted and “anxiety about being bitten” means that some random person with no reason to think they have bedbugs is consistenly and actively freaking out that bedbugs exist in the world and could possibly maybe someday OMG COME GET THEM, well yeah, that person clearly is aboard the idiot train.



  14. AngryMongo
    January 26, 2011 2:10 pm

    @Magnus Patris
    LOL. Thanks. I’ve been trying to do a shirt for the Tunnel Monster but that it is just fantastic on its own.



  15. spoon
    January 26, 2011 2:11 pm

    @unsatisfied A Peggy/David/Julie 3 some makes blood shoot out my vulva. Thank God there’s no mo Fedko or my jibblies would tingle too



  16. bucdaddy
    January 26, 2011 2:17 pm

    Huh, my money was on sparkly vampires. Guess I lose.

    JennyMoon Says:
    January 26th, 2011 at 12:39 pm
    I took a shower with a stinkbug this morning.

    I’d be concerned about an S.O. who doesn’t want to get in there with you more often.



  17. bluzdude
    January 26, 2011 2:19 pm

    Little known fact: Those first three pictures are actually 3 different varieties of bedbug, as seen through a microscope.

    Stellar job on the tunnel monster.



  18. Sooska
    January 26, 2011 4:32 pm

    IMHO:

    Bedbug photos math: A+B+C = D, (or Jane Orie and her sisters. not sure)



  19. Dan (Not Onorato)
    January 26, 2011 4:53 pm

    Saw a stinkbug on the ceiling of our hallway the other night….grabbed it with some TP (unused) because the Mrs. questioned me…”You arent going to pick it up with your hand are you?” *eyeroll*

    I do have to admit, I took great pleasure watching the little b*stard slowly die in the snow after I closed the door!



  20. #1 WI Steeler Fan
    January 26, 2011 5:46 pm

    Just a little bit of info on bedbugs- yes, it is gross to think about them being in your bed and on your body, but #1- they don’t carry any diseases and #2- you don’t even know you’ve been bit unless you are allergic to them- then, those suckers itch like hell. I found this all out from personal experience in a very nice hotel in Chicago.



  21. histortweet
    January 27, 2011 6:18 am

    So, I’m the only guy who thought it was Mike Tyson?



  22. Burgh is the Word
    January 27, 2011 10:46 pm

    New at 11. Find out what local news channel will cause you to die instantly if you miss their upcoming report.

    On a side note, anyone else besides me think Julie Bologna looks like a dude?

    My dad and Father-in-law are all about her, but I just feel the need to give her a package check.

    Anyone see Ace Ventura?



  23. Pretty Unfamous
    January 29, 2011 1:28 am

    I lived in a house in Carrick that had them. Bitch landlord didn’t tell us the house had them before we moved in–the exterminator told us that fact when he came out. Ugh. They are AWFUL, and they ARE in Pittsburgh. Stay outta Carrick if you don’t want them.



  24. Burgh is the Word
    January 29, 2011 1:44 am

    Whoa! No smack talking on Carrick. Lived here all my life with no bed bugs cause I wash my shit.