- January 28, 2011
- filed under Ben Roethlisberger, Daniel Sepulveda, Pirates, Random, Steelers, The Damn Pigeons, Troy Polamalu
1. If Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow, will I get arrested for punching him in his stupid face?
2. I have two new pieces for you to read over at Pittsburgh Magazine.
First up, my February column is appropriately titled, “How Not to Make Biscotti.”
It was the teenager of dough. It rolled its eyes at me. I considered taking away its driving privileges and unlimited texting plan.
I realized then that the basic laws of cooking and physics and, heck, gravity dictated that this blob of goo would never, ever turn into crispy cranberry biscotti despite the recipe I followed and its promise, “difficulty: easy.”
Lies. All lies.
I then go on to talk about hippopotamuses and Martha Stewart. Seriously.
I also have a new blog post up about the Pittsburgh Pirates’ ballsy move in raising game day ticket prices for this coming season.
Putting that aside, I gotta applaud the, pardon my Spanish, cojones of the Pittsburgh Pirates organization which has apparently never heard the phrase “You are in no position to negotiate.”
Enjoy! And when you get to the end, don’t hate my Pollyannaism. It can’t be helped.
3. Tim Ruff’s Walking in Pittsburgh video is already past 32,000 hits on YouTube. [fist bump]
4. Pigeons collapsed a gas station roof in Sacramento. That’s not surprising considering pigeons also brought down the bridge in Minnesota.
However, there’s this:
Firefighters said about 20 years of pigeons loitering on the roof had led to a build up of fecal matter nearly a foot thick.
Twelve inches of pigeon poop. TWELVE INCHES.
That’s not all:
The structure was built with an outdated design and couldn’t handle the weight.
Does this mean that pigeons have become such a scourge that structural engineers now have to take into account the future stress that multiple feet of pigeon poop will place on a building? Seriously?
This is why all the pigeons must die.
5. The ladies love Troysus and hate Ben. In other shocking news, the moon goes around the Earth.
6. Speaking of the ladies, they’d probably really really enjoy this photoshoot of Steeler Emmanuel Sanders.
Two-four-six-eight-pack/who do we appreciate?!
Emmanuel! Emmanuel! YAY, EMMANUEL!
7. Uh, guys, GINA!
Everyone on the planet is welcome.
8. Daniel Sepulveda filmed a video for I Am Second.
My kingdom for closed captioning.
Web-based businesses, if you wouldn’t put it on TV without captions, don’t put it on the Internet without captions.
9. Brett Kiesel’s self-snapshot is the stuff of nightmares.
That’s the face of a man who will feast on your raw flesh … or bring you two stone tablets down from the mountain.
(h/t Burgh is the Word)
10. Best crib sheet ever? BEST CRIB SHEET EVER!
(h/t Valerie who also found this abomination)