Random n’at.

1. If Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow, will I get arrested for punching him in his stupid face?

2. I have two new pieces for you to read over at Pittsburgh Magazine.

First up, my February column is appropriately titled, “How Not to Make Biscotti.”

A snippet:

It was the teenager of dough. It rolled its eyes at me. I considered taking away its driving privileges and unlimited texting plan.

I realized then that the basic laws of cooking and physics and, heck, gravity dictated that this blob of goo would never, ever turn into crispy cranberry biscotti despite the recipe I followed and its promise, “difficulty: easy.”

Lies. All lies.

I then go on to talk about hippopotamuses and Martha Stewart. Seriously.

I also have a new blog post up about the Pittsburgh Pirates’ ballsy move in raising game day ticket prices for this coming season.

Putting that aside, I gotta applaud the, pardon my Spanish, cojones of the Pittsburgh Pirates organization which has apparently never heard the phrase “You are in no position to negotiate.”

Enjoy! And when you get to the end, don’t hate my Pollyannaism. It can’t be helped.

3.  Tim Ruff’s Walking in Pittsburgh video is already past 32,000 hits on YouTube. [fist bump]

4.  Pigeons collapsed a gas station roof in Sacramento. That’s not surprising considering pigeons also brought down the bridge in Minnesota.

However, there’s this:

Firefighters said about 20 years of pigeons loitering on the roof had led to a build up of fecal matter nearly a foot thick.

Twelve inches of pigeon poop. TWELVE INCHES.

That’s not all:

The structure was built with an outdated design and couldn’t handle the weight.

Does this mean that pigeons have become such a scourge that structural engineers now have to take into account the future stress that multiple feet of pigeon poop will place on a building? Seriously?

This is why all the pigeons must die.

(h/t Liz)

5.  The ladies love Troysus and hate Ben. In other shocking news, the moon goes around the Earth.

(h/t Lindsey)

6. Speaking of the ladies, they’d probably really really enjoy this photoshoot of Steeler Emmanuel Sanders.

Sneak peak:

Two-four-six-eight-pack/who do we appreciate?!

Emmanuel! Emmanuel! YAY, EMMANUEL!

(h/t Angie)

7. Uh, guys, GINA!

Everyone on the planet is welcome.

8.  Daniel Sepulveda filmed a video for I Am Second.

My kingdom for closed captioning.

Web-based businesses, if you wouldn’t put it on TV without captions, don’t put it on the Internet without captions.

(h/t Shannon)

9.  Brett Kiesel’s self-snapshot is the stuff of nightmares.

That’s the face of a man who will feast on your raw flesh … or bring you two stone tablets down from the mountain.

Get it on a shirt here!

(h/t Burgh is the Word)

10. Best crib sheet ever? BEST CRIB SHEET EVER!

(h/t Valerie who also found this abomination)





22 Comments

  1. bucdaddy
    January 28, 2011 12:20 pm

    Lookin’ good, Gina.

    Thanks for that, VM. Maybe my day won’t suck after all …

    Nahhhhhhhhhh.



  2. #1 WI Steeler Fan
    January 28, 2011 1:05 pm

    #6- Mmmmm,mmmmmm,mmmmmmmm……. certainly improved the bitch of a day I am having.



  3. #1 WI Steeler Fan
    January 28, 2011 1:09 pm

    One more thing, Ginny- WTH is the pic at the top of this post?



  4. Virginia
    January 28, 2011 1:11 pm

    Click on the hyperlink on the very last two words of this post and you’ll see.



  5. Pa-pop
    January 28, 2011 1:20 pm

    Brett Kiesel … now THERE’s a face that makes the lyric “Oh momma, I’m in fear for my life” ring true.



  6. Joe K.
    January 28, 2011 1:25 pm

    With the off week, Keisel should have plenty of time to finish up his manifesto.



  7. Pensgirl
    January 28, 2011 1:31 pm

    “Does this mean that pigeons have become such a scourge that structural engineers now have to take into account the future stress that multiple feet of pigeon poop will place on a building? Seriously?”

    No, as in this isn’t new for structural engineers. They’ve accounted for the bird crap factor (probably not its official name) for a very long time.



  8. AngryMongo
    January 28, 2011 2:07 pm

    Can you imagine if we introduced pigeons into Al Qaeda? I’ll take credit now, thank you.

    I love that pic of Keisel. I love that he took it of himself. That’s awesome.

    I redid the quote “70% of the world is covered by water. The rest is covered by Brett Keisel’s beard.” instead of Troy Polamalu for my shirt shops. Just for schtizengiggles. I want to see him do the full on bow and arrow victory dance looking like Jim Haggerty.



  9. cityworker
    January 28, 2011 2:54 pm

    Am I the only one who sees the crib sheet and asking why that baby is not on his back? BACK to sleep!



  10. AngryMongo
    January 28, 2011 3:46 pm

    I meant Dan Haggerty. I have no idea who the eff Jim Haggerty is.



  11. gunnlino
    January 28, 2011 3:53 pm

    Ah, Fellas… and ladies also.
    There is buried in the photos of the Gina girl ( dammmmyamm ) a come on for a Iphone and Ipad. Don’t go there, do not click the link.



  12. Ms. Redd
    January 28, 2011 6:56 pm

    @#9- I saw the same thing- that is the mom in us I guess.



  13. Megan
    January 28, 2011 10:37 pm

    #8 – woohooo @ Shannon – she loves Daniel :))

    #9 – thanks for this pic of Keisal!

    @9 & 12 – the baby is probably of rolling-over age. My son constantly rolled onto his stomach at 5mos, preferring that position. The baby in the picture looks almost identical to my friend’s 8mo son.



  14. tw
    January 28, 2011 10:54 pm

    As a mom of three I can honestly say that “occasionally” I would lay my babies on their bellies (for naps and stuff). I’m fully aware of the whole sids thing, but also aware that many babies just plain sleep better on their bellies and that flat head thing really is a pain (believe me…my daughters had it and it never really went away…you can really see it on some kids). Besides, i’m sure many of our mothers laid us on our bellies and we came out fine.



  15. Burgh is the Word
    January 29, 2011 1:18 am

    I have a dilema, do I wear my Black Troy jersey to the Superbowl party, my white Mendenhall I got for Christmas and wore during the Baltimore game OR and here is where it really gets bad. The new Keisel shirt I ordered to scare the bejesus out of everyone.

    Why oh why Mr Keisel did you have to make this more difficult by presenting me with a non jersey option that I may have to go with.

    Help!



  16. bucdaddy
    January 29, 2011 2:35 am

    The baby in the picture looks almost identical to my friend’s 8mo son.

    Seriously, do they make any babies that don’t look like every other baby? I guess maybe a professional can tell the black babies from the white babies from the Asian babies, but really, I’m not stunned that occasionally someone takes home the wrong kid from the hospital and raises him/her for a few years and then discovers through via purely random and accidental appearance on “The Jerry Springer Show” that this is not really their kid. I’m damn surprised it doesn’t happen waaaaaay more often. Mrs. Daddy will see a baby and like 99.99% of women go “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, how cute!” and then turn to me for validation of her opinion (“Isn’t he cute?”), and I wriggle out of expressing my true POV by smiling and saying what I always say:

    Yep, that looks just like a baby.

    Unless … the baby looks like one of the lower primates. Of the dozens of funny “Seinfeld” episodes I think my favorite is the one where they’re forced to say nice things about their friends’ repulsively ugly baby. (IIRC, there’s also the “major shrinkage” story line in that one, which simply elevates the ep from funny to near-hilarious) …

    Where was I going with this?

    Oh yeah: That kid looks just like a baby.

    *takes another belt of Old No. 7*



  17. Valerie
    January 29, 2011 2:27 pm

    I’m sure the baby’s on his back to protect his identity. ;)



  18. Valerie
    January 29, 2011 2:28 pm

    Gah – I meant he’s on his TUMMY to protect his identity.



  19. Scott
    January 31, 2011 11:05 am

    I’ve always felt that in order to be a true Pittsburgher, you need to refrain from whining about winter. I can never understand people who act as though they are somehow surprised each and every year that we have a real winter, and who complain and whine about like it is unfair and unusual.

    It’s Pittsburgh.

    We have winter….every year.

    Deal with it.



  20. cityworker
    January 31, 2011 2:39 pm

    @ Ms. Redd – I will take that as a compliment even if I am a dad.



  21. Megan
    February 5, 2011 8:31 pm

    bucdaddy – my comment about the child looking like an 8mo is important because 8mo are ‘allowed’ to sleep/lay on their bellies according to the American Pediatrics Association. As opposed to a newborn, which is not ‘allowed’ to sleep on their backs according to the APA. One of the prior posters was concerned that a baby was lying on his stomach, but if he is old enough, its of no concern.

    As someone how’s had thousands of babies pass thru my life (taught daycare for several years), not all babies look alike, and 8mos definitely do not look all alike (unless multiples).