All new! Never before heard!

According to TMZ — and and let me interrupt for my normal aside: “Yes. I read TMZ. If you don’t and you’re aghast that I do, that’s okay. I understand you are better than me and smarter than me and gosh darn it … people like you more. But hey, it’s not like I read Perez Hilton. Those people are stupid tools.”

Jeremy Piven thinks this year’s Super Bowl is gonna suck — because no one wants to see a game between Ben “Rapist-berger and the Cheese Heads.”

OMG, Jeremy Piven. you are so funny and original!

Rapist-berger! No one has ever called Ben that ever! No wonder you are a national comedic treasure.


(h/t Liz)


  1. gunnlino
    January 31, 2011 11:55 am

    Yeah, Piven, now there’s an authority on sports.
    Sure he’s entitled to his opinion but so is everyone else. In this case the old maxim about opening your mouth and confirming to everyone within earshot that you are the fool they knew you were applies.

  2. Suburban Nor'Side Girl
    January 31, 2011 12:03 pm

    Oh, yeah, the mercury-poisoned-by-eating-too-much-fish-so-I -can’t-possibly-fulfill-my-obligation-to-perform-in-this -Broadway-play guy.

  3. Lee
    January 31, 2011 12:09 pm

    Did you happen to see the Tosh.o on comedy central when he brought Antoine Dobson in for a web-redemption? Dobson is the guy from Alabama who proclaimed “They rapin’ errrybody up in here.”
    They set a ‘rape trap’ so Dobson could ‘catch a rapist.’ The rapist they caught in the trap was wearing Roethlisberger’s jersey. Tosh said at the end that he wouldn’t have had to do the skit if Roethlisberger would have admitted to fumbling the ball in the end zone against Miami.

    A couple of weeks earlier, during comedy central’s new Denis Leary comedy special about ‘douchebags,’ he sings a song with a band and Roethlisberger is one of the ‘douchebags’ he sings about.

    It’s kind of weird when you remember the entire country knows about the incident in Georgia and the entire country has opinions about it, isn’t it?

    This isn’t me stating an opinion either way, because really — who cares what I think about Ben — just saying, Piven is certainly not the only one making such comments. Pretty sure the two examples I gave happened before we even made it to the Super Bowl.

  4. L-A
    January 31, 2011 12:23 pm

    I read TMZ AND Perez Hilton. I suck at life. Whatevs. Piven sucks harder.

  5. Me
    January 31, 2011 12:23 pm

    Suburban Nor’Side Girl — you beat me to it.

    Arie Gold would recognize the money to be made from the game between these teams with huge fan bases. Jeremy Piven should just stick to being an actor and reading the lines smarter people write for him.

  6. BeauJacques
    January 31, 2011 12:25 pm

    Piven is a stuffed ass.

  7. unsatisfied
    January 31, 2011 1:12 pm

    news alert, steeler(s) nation — not everyone is a steelers fan. so what?

    that being said — I expect better out of you, ari gold. now, go make me some funny-ass episodes of “entourage”, bitch.

  8. Sleemo
    January 31, 2011 1:12 pm

    I still think “Benny the Groin” (fake mobster name from “Analyze This”) should be much more widely used.

  9. AngryMongo
    January 31, 2011 1:18 pm

    This coming from a man who once tried to tip the service staff at Nobu Matsuhisa with a DVD for Entourage.

    I’ve lost so much respect for Piven prior to this noise bite that it’s pretty much a blip on my radar.

  10. Pensgirl
    January 31, 2011 1:20 pm

    He can consider it payback. I attempted to watch Entourage but it bored the hell out of me.

  11. Butcher's Dog
    January 31, 2011 1:39 pm

    Kinda glad I have no idea who the hell this is.

  12. #1 WI Steeler Fan
    January 31, 2011 1:40 pm

    Jeremy Piven- go eat some more fish.

  13. LucyLou
    January 31, 2011 1:50 pm

    Consider the source…he thinks Jets/Bears would have been the game of the century. Meh. We can’t concern ourselves with the haters.

  14. bluzdude
    January 31, 2011 1:56 pm

    This just goes to show that actors aren’t nearly as glib when they don’t have their lines written by someone else.

  15. spoon
    January 31, 2011 3:00 pm

    Was he relevant after PCU?

  16. G-Man
    January 31, 2011 3:42 pm

    I have avoided Piven like the plague for years. He has less talent than my 13-year-old torn pair of Fila athletic shoes. Can’t understand why anyone watches Entourage with him in it. He’s a total egomniacal twit who skipped out on his Broadway contract over eating too much sushi.
    And I felt that way before I read any of this.

  17. Burgh is the Word
    January 31, 2011 4:37 pm

    The best one I have seen was a guy from Cleveland wearing a Ben jersey that he had taken the name off and stiched on ‘Consentlisberger’.

    You know I couldn’t even really be mad, because it was just so well done. It was a legit jersey and when you saw the back you had to do a double take.

    I was mad for a second and then was like..


  18. Dan (Not Onorato)
    January 31, 2011 4:37 pm

    And Jeremy Pivennnn issss relevant becauuuussseeeeee????

    Not worth the aggrivation…move along

  19. John B.
    January 31, 2011 8:04 pm

    The problem for me is I can’t stand the hypocrisy of some of these Hollywood assclowns. Especially washed up, B-level, curtain-jerking Hollywood assclowns. Because actors are the BASTIONS of morality and good behavior. Ask Charlie Sheen, he’ll tell you. How come a stay or three in rehab and an “Oopse I f*cked up! My bad” is good enough redemption for these parasites, but nothing Ben will ever say or do will be good enough to show that holy pigeon poop, even famous jocks that get obscene amounts of cash for tossing around a ball for an hour a week can redeem their sins too?

    I swallowed it during the Jets game hearing about Ben being a rapist all the while Mark Sanchez was ARRESTED for it in college. I listened to all the “She said no!” chants from the Ravens who cheer for a murderer out the other side of their mouths. But this time, no way.

    Yeah, Ben’s a dick but goddammit he’s our dick. Kinda like that little brother you just want to punch in the face but you’ll stand up for when someone else gives them shit.

  20. Sexy Jesus
    January 31, 2011 9:59 pm

    I always preferred Ben’s XFL name: He Rape Me.

    Sorry, but he’s still a ginormous douche bag.