That's Church

I agree with reader Lee who sent me this link, that this FAIL video would be a million times more awesome if it was a Caps or a Flyers fan doing the chin-planting, but nonetheless, a chin plant to end all chin plants.

Seriously, you can’t do that and not lose a few teeth or a chunk of tongue, right?

For an extra-stabby feeling, read the comments.

1. If you’re on twitter, perhaps you could take a second to give a virtual hug to Burgher Maria Connelly, who lost her son Christian to cancer last week. He would have turned ten today.

You can read all about the little guy here, including:

Christian maintained his fighting spirit even after being diagnosed with brain cancer in January 2009. The fourth-grader at Brookline K-8 didn’t complain about his surgeries or rigorous treatments, and his condition made him determined to become a brain surgeon when he grew up.

You can send a tweet to his mother here and let her know you took the time to read about her brave son.

2.  Well, it wasn’t shirtless sexhair, but still … Kris Letang named the most improved player in the NHL by Sports Illustrated:

If he threw up, he had to scramble to try to rehydrate before skating. Amazingly, he’s never missed an NHL game with a migraine. “I was dying to play, so I didn’t complain about headaches,” he says.

Letang began taking a new medication last year but still had one bad episode before opening night when he ran out of pills. Afraid to drive home, he slept at the rink after the morning skate. “I need the room completely dark,” he says. “Otherwise when I wake up, it’s like someone is pressing on my eyeball and I see blurry colors that move around.” He still undergoes brain scans twice a year.

Considering I can’t even climb a flight of stairs with a migraine, and he’s playing hockey with them, I realize now what a puny human I am.

Well, I realized it when I pulled an abdominal muscle during an especially violent sneeze, but this just solidifies it.

3. Speaking of the Pens, check out this Make a Wish Facebook photo album from when Sid, Geno, Sexhair and others took the time to bowl with some Make a Wish kids.

Athletes + sick kids = my heart turning to a puddle of goo.

4.  Courtesy of my good friend Jonathan Wander who got it from his good friend Chris (@stavorous), check out what happens when you unsubscribe to Groupon, which was founded by a Burgher, Andrew Mason.

LOVE IT.

5. Slate’s Tom Scocca with one of the most amazing descriptors of Ben Roethlisberger since The Duke of Fug and The Earl of Gross:

“Roethlisberger is the most useful kind of stupid: too dumb to doubt himself.”

Bravo!

(h/t Lea)

6. The Pie Place is celebrating National Pie Day … with FREE PIE!

In celebration of National Pie Day, The Pie Place will be practicing “Random Acts of Pie-ness” by giving a free pie to every 15^th paying customer over 18 years of age on Saturday, January 22, 2011 from 11:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.

I’ve had their wares as they donated a huge bunch of deliciousness to Ti Kanaval and I ate more than several.

Divine.

And low fat, too!

Okay, I made that last part up. Don’t tell my ass.

7. Kellee Maizee, City of Champions.

Someone be a dear and help a deaf girl out; get me the lyrics to this.

Regardless, the video is a beautiful tribute to the Burgh and was clearly filmed before all this damn snow.

8. Apparently Tim Benz has picked the Jets to win on Sunday.

So, like, we’re running him out of town, right?  I don’t care if he IS related to Julie Benz.

You get the pitchforks and I’ll get the torches, angry pigeons, and wet, icy Terrible Towels for snapping.

9. Speaking of pigeons, this story was first emailed to me by Randy Baumann who was sure he would be the bazillionth person to send it to me. Nope. He was the first.

THEN a bazillion of you sent it to me.

Police in Colombia have arrested a pigeon that was struggling to fly over the walls of Bucaramanga prison with 1.6 ounces of weed strapped to its back. A police commander called it “a new case of criminal ingenuity.”

What the hell kind of puny pigeons do they have in Columbia that they can’t fly with 1.6 ounces of weed strapped to their backs?

I’ve seen more than one pigeon here in Pittsburgh that could clear a prison wall with a kilo of coke and a fat baby strapped to its back.

1. Honus Wagner on Forbes

2. Le Cordon Bleu Culinary Academy on Liberty

3. Patrice King Brown on KDKA

First , I’m going to miss Patrice. Who DOESN’T like her?

Second, this being Pittsburgh, where people and even the newspapers still refer to 11 Stanwix as the Old Westinghouse Building and the Regional Enterprise Tower as the Old Alcoa Building, 13 years after those buildings were last occupied by those companies, it won’t be long before an outsider asks for directions only to be told to go past the Old Honus Wagner building or that if they’ve hit the Old Le Cordon Bleu Building they’ve gone too far.

Added to my bucket list: Direct a lost tourist from Oakland to the fountain at the Point by only referring to places by what they USED to be called.

It’ll be hilarious to hear them all, “She said to go past Old Forbes Field, but I don’t see that ANYWHERE. Oh well, when we got close, I’ll look for Murphy’s and The Old Patrice King Brown Building and you look for Fort Pitt.”

Just wanted to share the teaser trailer for the new Pittsburgh-based and filmed web series by Justin Kownacki, The Baristas.

I am supremely excited for this to start and I have PERSONALLY begged Justin to enable closed captioning on the series once it launches, so I won’t miss a single snarky thing.

Check it out.

I most look forward to whatever episode it is that includes the scene at :40.

In addition, I hope girl at :31 and boy at :33 fall in love, because that would be awesome.

Unless she’s a lesbian, then I hope she falls in love with girl at :20.

I might be a hopeless romantic. I could watch a video of squirrels and be all, “Gosh, I hope squirrel at :40 saves the biggest acorn for squirrel at :55 and sweeps her off her feet.”

I realize this is wrong and bad and just absolutely downright BEGGING for the Karma Boomerang to the ass, but last night my husband and I watched this KDKA footage on the news about ten times, like we were watching contestants bounce off the Wipeout Big Balls, which if you want a fun thing to do, watch your eight-year-old watching Wipeout.

Regardless. Cars … on Ice in Pittsburgh.

I’m watchin’ my back, Karma Boomerang.