Random n’at

1. You know what sucks? After a half a winter spent eating in comfort because your restaurant had a fire and because it’s cold outside, going to the doctor and being weighed  so that you know OFFICIALLY and to the tenth of a pound how much weight you gained since November, leaving you to say things to yourself like, “Is that kilograms?” and “It’s been a rough winter.” and “I don’t get the metric system at all.”

Know what else sucks? How much your hand smarts after bitch-slapping a scale in the doctor’s office.

2.You’ll notice the thermometer there is still not updating live. We ran into a technical issue with Donations Tracker and Mike is working with them and the Mario Lemieux Foundation to get it resolved.  From what I understand, it’s a complex issue because the whosits aren’t working and the whatsits quit on account of the monkeys. Or something. [shrug]

Regardless, Mike is updating the total manually for the time being.

Please click the donate button to donate! It’s for sick kids who deserve a little levity in their days. You’ll feel a wonderful sense of satisfaction and camaraderie when I post the install-day pictures because you’ll be able to say, “I did that.”

Also, for every ten dollars we raise, a unicorn poops a chocolate chip cookie dough ball.

Or something.

This is a weird post. My favorite kind.

3. Mikey and Big Bob are in Dallas for the Super Bowl and filed this video from the media room last night.

At one minute and nineteen seconds in, Mikey does something many of us have dreamed of doing.

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I asked Mikey what he smelled like, since Mikey looks so turned on by it, and Mikey said, “glitter, cookies, and clouds.”

I KNEW IT!

But seriously, Mikey, step off.

3.  The Twerrible Towel is a website created by some Burghers who have ingeniously whipped up a contraption of whosits and whatsits to twirl a Terrible Towel each time someone tweets the hashtag #steelersnation or #steelernation.

It’s hypnotizing and mesmerizing and fun to watch your name pop up.

I wonder if there’s a monkey in there that they spank to make it twirl?

I have a scary good grasp on technology, n’at.

4. Say “twirl the Terrible Towel” ten times real fast.

You CAN’T CAN YOU?!

5. CBS Sports’ Gregg Doyle writes about Pittsburgh and the Steelers:

The Steelers never fell. The crash never came. The 1970s came and went, but the bottom never fell out. The Steelers kept churning out 10-win seasons, almost never dropped below .500, then won two more Super Bowls. Here they are this week, playing for their seventh title — and their third in six years — and you have to marvel. Give credit where credit is due. And acknowledge this truth:

The Steelers have been as resilient as the city they call home.

That’s church. Testify. Amen. Hallelujah. Spank a monkey and twirl that towel.

Weird post. I blame the doctor’s scale.

(h/t Jen)

6. Randy Baumann wrote Fear the Beard:

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I fear the beard. Because I think monkeys might live in it.

(h/t Lynette)

7. My self-united husband Joe Manganiello has something he’d like to say to you:

I can’t hear him either, but he sure is nice to look at, eh?

(h/t Pete)

8. Burghers, listen to me. We are at war with Green Bay residents and Packers fans and WE. MUST. WIN!

CHAAAAARGE!

Wait. For a second there I just imagined we were cresting a hill about to invade the enemy.

Seriously, be counted at Visit Pittsburgh’s site as a Steelers fan and be entered to win a 2011 Steelers home opener package.

9. A sign sent to me by Tony from Darwinfish:

False advertising! It should say, “Feed a pigeon, get bitch-slapped by PittGirl. She got weighed today. It wasn’t pretty.”





18 Comments

  1. Julia
    February 2, 2011 3:17 pm

    Don’t feel bad about the winter weight gain. My reason for gaining weight has nothing to do with my place of business catching on fire and having to stay inside. But my reason has everything to do with dropping my gym membership in August (I don’t spinning classes twice a week to stay fit! What?) and maintaining a healthy diet of delicious pizza and potato chips. Yeah. My summertime photo of me in a bikini is totally bitching me out right now.



  2. Silica
    February 2, 2011 3:22 pm

    “…for every ten dollars we raise, a unicorn poops a chocolate chip cookie dough ball.”

    I’m glad I was able to be a part of that.

    (And for the doctor’s scale, even if it’s kinda gross – I always take my shoes off. Boots add like 20 pounds, don’t they?)



  3. Paul
    February 2, 2011 3:30 pm

    I don’t know about #5. I have a different memory of the 1980s and the Bubby Brister and Mark Malone era than he does.



  4. Joe K.
    February 2, 2011 3:40 pm

    @ Paul:

    80’s weren’t great but better than, say, being the Detroit Lions. Didn’t Bubby and Merril Hoge play in an AFC championship game one year?



  5. Pa-pop
    February 2, 2011 4:20 pm

    I’m with Joe K. Greg Doyle has a good argument. The Stillers were only two games over .500 between 1980-89 but managed to go to the playoffs four times and the AFC championship once. That’s rather meh (the “standard being the standard”), and by comparison the monkey-spankin’ Lions between 2000-09 were 80 games under and never sniffed the playoffs having never finished better than third in their division. The Steelers of the 80’s were comparable to the Cowboys of the 00’s (four over, four trips to the postseason).



  6. Butcher's Dog
    February 2, 2011 5:16 pm

    Do the monkeys get spanked because they’ve been bad or do they get spanked in hopes they’ll do something bad soon (think “bootyluscious” here)? One of the pressing questions of our day.

    Save some hate for The Kraken and the Crapitals at 12:30 on Sunday before the Big Event starts.



  7. bluzdude
    February 2, 2011 5:22 pm

    You got weighed today? Did you wike it?

    They should feature Keisel in one of those “Messin’ With Sasquatch” commercials.

    I guess this means you hadn’t seen that pigeon sign before…



  8. bucdaddy
    February 2, 2011 5:49 pm

    5. A big part of the reason for that is they’ve always had the Browns (both versions) and Bengals in their division, every couple years they got an expansion team (Jacksonville, the New Browns) to beat up on, and for awhile whenever anyone stepped up to challenge them (Titans, Jaguars), those teams wound up getting moved out of the division. I used to figure the Rooneys had photos of Tagliabue in a dress or something.



  9. Paul
    February 2, 2011 5:58 pm

    I guess they were okay years. I don’t know, those last few Chuck Noll years were brutal.

    On a bright note, my favorite player of that era was Louis Lipps.



  10. Jann
    February 2, 2011 8:12 pm

    RE:#5
    My best memory was when Bubby Brister cursed on TV right after a big game (Maybe a divisional championship?)

    First he said “Damn!” Then , “Excuse me for cursing, I’m just happy as shit!”

    And nothing got bleeped!



  11. Kathy
    February 2, 2011 8:26 pm

    it’s ironic that if we donate money for kids, you’ll write a post that none of those kids should read! hehehe

    where is the WTRT Media edition?



  12. Pa-pop
    February 2, 2011 10:00 pm

    @Jann – I’ll bet the Bubster said that after the New Year’s Eve (’89) upset of the Oilers in Houston after Rod Woodson put the hurt on someone who fumbled in OT, a turnover that was converted into a stwaight and twue field goal by Garwy Andewson.



  13. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    February 2, 2011 10:17 pm

    @sleepgh — I’ve heard of her. She’s relatively new to tv. She’s now on NBC’s Community, which airs on Thursdays. I actually saw at the Pittsburgh Public Theater a few years ago. She’s from Mt. Lebanon.



  14. Aileen
    February 2, 2011 10:53 pm

    @Bluzdude – I didn’t even think of the Sasquatch commercials.

    I saw the Capital One “what’s in your wallet” medieval menaces and thought of Keisel – until he got off the plane on Monday looking totally like the guys from ZZ Top.



  15. AngryMongo
    February 3, 2011 12:24 am

    @Jann I remember that kick like it was yesterday. 50yrds for the win!



  16. It's Time!
    February 3, 2011 10:02 am

    “Community” is great — Joe McHale is way awsomer than you thought he’d be, but I had no idea Gillian Jacobs was from Pittsburgh. Maybe after we win Sunday, she’ll make that connection known a bit more.



  17. Jann
    February 3, 2011 4:19 pm

    Thanks Pa-pop. I’m sure you’re right. I remember it being around Christmas time of that year.