Enter search term here and we’ll have a good laugh about it.

First, I would like to point out that the Post-Gazette’s search engine remains as effective as a halitosis-flavored breath mint.

After reading in this morning’s edition about the War on Potholes II, I wanted to share it with you, so I searched “potholes” and got the following back:

I clicked through a few pages of results, not finding the article from today’s edition about potholes — so much about potholes that the article included a graphic about how a pothole forms. So then I went back to the main page, scrolled down, found “Local News,” clicked on “More” and then scrolled down some more, finally found it and shouted Eureka before a celebratory snap of my whip and tossing my worn brown fedora into the air.

What I wanted to tell you about it is that the road dudes LOVE their jobs.

  • “It’s going to be a good one,” Allegheny County public works director Joseph Olczak said of the coming pothole season.
  • “I think we’re going to start getting hammered,” agreed Pittsburgh public works director Rob Kaczorowski. “We’re seeing some pop up already but I think in the next two weeks you’re going to see a massive influx of potholes.”
  • “If the temperatures rise and we get rain, things might really start to pop,” said Jeffrey M. Karr, assistant district executive for maintenance for the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation.
  • “Every field employee we have is dedicated to get out there and patch potholes when we’re not in snow removal.”

I love it. It sounds like they’re going to war.

Because they are.

First, who knew potholes could influx?

Second, Massive Influx of Potholes would make a great band name.





11 Comments

  1. bucdaddy
    February 11, 2011 3:20 pm

    Damned illegal potholes, sneaking across the border, innundating and pushing aside your homegrown Steelers- and Penguins-loving native potholes like an invasive species. The Republicans warned you this would happen, but did Pittsburgh listen? NOOOOOOO, you voted Democrat like always. I’d suggest a giant fence around the city, but the liberals would have a fit. So now you’re just going to have to live with the hordes of Beaver and Washington and Butler and Westmoreland county potholes that only come to Pittsburgh for a better life, after all, knowing they won’t get filled in for weeks, months even, and that just want to do their jobs providing work for lowly tire and rim manufacturers and the installers of such, at $90 an hour plus tax.

    Well, don’t come bitching to me when you discover that flat. You have only yourselves to blame.



  2. Butcher's Dog
    February 11, 2011 3:23 pm

    @bucdaddy: some of them hop a ride down from Mercer County, too. Let’s not limit the area to, say, where the P-G is actually sold.



  3. Bram R
    February 11, 2011 5:31 pm

    I was *just thinking this*. I searched for “Tim McNulty”, one of their staff reporters of several-to-many years. All it gave me was three blog posts. I don’t know how they manage to screw up that function so badly, and for so long.



  4. unsatisfied
    February 11, 2011 6:10 pm

    this is why man invented google.



  5. bucdaddy
    February 12, 2011 1:36 am

    Mercer County? Those bastards are the worst. The WORST!

    Let me tell you how Pittsburgh ends up with potholes. Two ways:

    1. Mount Lebanon, Fox Chapel and Sewickley periodically round up all their potholes and deport them to Pittsburgh. It’s not that places like that have more money, it’s that they have a zero-tolerance policy and they STRICTLY enforce it.

    2. The crater-size car swallowers in places like Mercer County know they’ll get stopped at the border, but it’s a little known fact that potholes have babies, babies the mommy and daddy potholes want to have a chance at a better, loooong life. Fortunately for them, there are … let’s call them potmules, who for $10,000 each (for potholes, getting kickbacks from the garages for busted tires and bent rims is a somewhat lucrative business)are willing to take the baby potholes across the line, one at a time.

    In their pants.

    Disguised as assholes.

    So if the city wants to solve the pothole problem, if it wants to avoid forever being known as Potsburgh, it is going to have to hire a pantload of proctologists and pay a fortune for rubber gloves.

    Also, those of you who commute from the suburbs to the city every day are going to have to prepare for some loooooooong lines at the tunnels.



  6. Butcher's Dog
    February 12, 2011 9:21 am

    @bucdaddy: if you think some of the Mercer County potholes come in disguised as assholes, you should see the people!

    Two of my favorite bumper stickers from my hometown (neither of which is on my car): PETA…People Eating Tasty Animals and…”Back Off, City-boy!” Kinda gives you the flavor of the place.



  7. Aileen
    February 12, 2011 11:23 am

    @Butcher’s Dog –
    Hey, I didn’t know the Amish put stickers on their buggys!

    As for the search engine, I’m tempted to put in the term “hockey free-for-all” and see if we get anything from last night’s Pens-Islanders game.

    Ginny, if there was ever a hockey game that just begged for WTRT, it was this one. Truth be told, I’ve just used that as an excuse to beg for one. I know it’d be a classic.



  8. Butcher's Dog
    February 12, 2011 11:54 am

    @Aileen: no stickers on buggys. Those are on the rusty pickups with gun racks in the back. As Beau Jacques referenced the Telafloral ad where the guy, at the urging of Faith Hill to write what’s in his heart, types “Your rack is unreal”, in my town he could easily be writing about the pickup truck accessory.



  9. Aileen
    February 12, 2011 2:36 pm

    @Butcher’s Dog –

    I live in Beaver County, so I can relate.

    I’m still to come to grips witht the fact that schools are closed the Monday after Thanksgiving because it’s the 1st day of hunting season.



  10. Butcher's Dog
    February 12, 2011 4:08 pm

    You’d have better school attendance if you tried to hold school on Black Friday than you would if you held it on the First Day of Deer Season. In a completely secular way that’s the holiest of our holidays.



  11. Christina Keffer
    February 14, 2011 10:57 am

    On a somewhat unrelated note, you can search the Pittsburgh Post Gazette site (or any site with sucky search) using google by typing site:www.post-gazette.com/ keyword. Google does a lot better than most internal search engines. /nerd-rant