I’m not saying “THIS IS THE YEAR!” because I promised you I wouldn’t do that no matter how rosy my Cult of Personality glasses make everything seem. I looked at a pile of dog poop the other day and it looked like a chocolate doughnut. These glasses are of the strongest rose-colored prescription money can buy.
I must let you know that the Pittsburgh Pirates spent a sunny Florida day bitchslapping the Manatees stupid.
From the Bradenton Times:
You may not expect to win as a Junior College baseball team heading into a Major League Spring training game against the Pittsburgh Pirates, but you hope to learn something from the experience. The SCF Manatees learned a lot about themselves and what it takes to be a professional baseball player Friday afternoon as they were handed a 21-1 loss to the Pirates in the opening day of Spring baseball at McKechnie Field in Bradenton.
This is noteworthy because the Manatees have beaten the Pirates before. So we didn’t just beat them this time, we destroyed them the way a MLB team SHOULD destroy a junior college baseball team. They should be bleeding and crying and reverting to thumb-sucking pants-pooping babies by the time the game is over.
In addition, the Pirates beat Tampa Bay 10-3 in their second Grapefruit League game of the season. Which is already pretty rosy and then I look at it through my rose-colored glasses and I see a World Series pennant.
These glasses are better than ecstasy.
Again, not saying this is the year. Just saying the Pirates are not looking terrible yet and that Bitchslapping Manatees would make a kickass band name.