With apologies to Dave Barry

I suddenly wondered how many “Gasp! That would make a great band name!” posts I’ve had, so I compiled them for you in case you’re looking to name your band.

Here they are!

  • Puss-Explosion of the Jejuni
  • The Devil and Tom Brady
  • The Gods of Toxic Shock Syndrome
  • Errant Emu (First album: Lasso a Sprinting Emu)
  • The Devil and the Boysenberries
  • The Cackling Cloacas
  • Insurrectionary Forces of Orgiastic Violence
  • The Sexed Up Gerbils
  • Remnants of Ravioli
  • Violent Rhino Sex
  • Poinsettial Velveteen Glory (church band)
  • Satan and the Prohibition Monsters
  • Great Audastic Huevos
  • Massive Influx of Potholes
  • Bitchslapping Manatees

Take your pick and get busy getting famous.

Yes, I’m sure this is how people name their bands. How else do you explain Aggressive Crotch Display?





24 Comments

  1. Noelle
    February 28, 2011 10:26 pm

    May I add Belly Squeezin’ Spanx? A personal fav.



  2. Cassie
    February 28, 2011 11:11 pm

    The Gods of Toxic Shock Syndrome should tour with The Tampons.



  3. Monty
    February 28, 2011 11:13 pm

    Well, I just googled the first one. Pretty sure (1) you meant “pus” and (2) I have some ‘splaining to do to my HR department.



  4. bluzdude
    February 28, 2011 11:38 pm

    @Cassie,
    The tour can be sponsored by Summer’s Eve!



  5. Bram R
    February 28, 2011 11:49 pm

    VRS is more of a dance move, no?



  6. Duncan
    March 1, 2011 8:23 am

    Many of them aren’t bad, but they’re too long. Gotta have a shorter, catchier name if the band is gonna be cool.



  7. SpudMom
    March 1, 2011 8:42 am

    I’m just a little bit in love with Errant Emu. That’s genius.



  8. SpudMom
    March 1, 2011 8:45 am

    Also, on the subject of random band names, I ran across this on facebook:

    HOW TO MAKE A RANDOM ALBUM COVER! Go to wikipedia and hit random. The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band. 2 – Go to quotationspage.com and hit random. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album. 3 – Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover. 4 – Use photoshop or similar (picnik.com is a free online photo editor) to put it all together.

    It would be sort of fun to skip step one, using on of Ginny’s band names instead, and then continue with steps 2 through 4.



  9. AngryMongo
    March 1, 2011 8:52 am

    @Cassie

    Or they could open for a real band…

    The Cramps.



  10. Magnus Patris
    March 1, 2011 10:05 am

    Years ago, a friend of mine came up with “Raspberry Tampon”. I’m claiming copyright on it.



  11. Christina
    March 1, 2011 11:31 am

    On my way to the Pittsburgh Airport on Sunday morning I saw this written on a police car: “Allegheny County Police Department – Bomb Squad”

    And guess what was the only thing I could think of?

    Remnants of Ravioli



  12. Aileen
    March 1, 2011 11:37 am

    Ladies and Gentlemen…

    Perpetual Hormones



  13. bucdaddy
    March 1, 2011 12:27 pm

    That first one, I’ve been known to make that happen. Just sayin’.

    Aileen,

    There was a Ramones tribute band hereabouts many years ago that went by the Whoremones.



  14. redram1
    March 1, 2011 2:09 pm

    @4 Bluzdud, and be part of the Lilith Fair!



  15. Christa
    March 1, 2011 2:48 pm

    My personal favorite “this should be a band name” came from a tv commercial about home maintenace. Gutter Helmet.



  16. Magnus Patris
    March 1, 2011 5:59 pm

    @15 Christa If they were from Germany, they’d be “Gütter Helmut”.



  17. Cassie
    March 1, 2011 10:14 pm

    @Bluz, AngryMongo and redram1 BRILLIANT!!!

    And perhaps we could have them do a battle of the bands with The Douche Bags.



  18. Aileen
    March 1, 2011 10:36 pm

    @Cassie – Only if Marc Andre Fleury does the intro.

    You’ve never heard the words “douche bag” sound funnier unless you saw and heard MAF during the HBO 24/7 series leading up to the Winter Classic.



  19. Aileen
    March 1, 2011 10:38 pm

    Here’s some potential band names:

    Divine Hammer

    Fat Jimmy

    Thundercrack

    GenoSid

    Hell Unleashed

    These are the names of posters on Bob Smizik’s blog on the Post-Gazette website.



  20. Cassie
    March 2, 2011 9:36 am

    @Aileen, done. He’d be good to look at, too.



  21. REARless
    March 2, 2011 2:10 pm

    When I was into punk in Morgantown 30 or so odd years ago, I remember the names two bands who played at the local club (The Underground Railroad). They were from Harrisburg, and though they were ok musically, I still remember their names to this day:

    “Drunks With Guns”
    and
    “Jack Lord’s Hair”



  22. DSS
    March 2, 2011 5:07 pm

    How’s about “Marcellus Frac Water” or “Marcellus Frak”, or just The Fraks….



  23. Aileen
    March 2, 2011 5:17 pm

    Now that I’m looking at GenoSid, if that were a band, would you pronounce it like it looks, a combo of Malkina and Crosby –

    or

    if GenoSid were a heavy metal band, our would you pronounce it genocide?



  24. dss
    March 2, 2011 5:32 pm

    Boy, you could go nuts with all of the Charlie Sheenisms as of late. For now, I’ll just throw “The Mercury Surfboards” into the mix