Some of you have skimmed the Random n’at post down there and are commenting and emailing me congratulations that I am taking part in Dancing with the Pittsburgh Celebrities event.
Apparently that line of the post is causing many of you to blow important reading comprehension-controlling brain fuses because if you would read the very next line, you would see that I was just kidding.
I am not dancing in that event. Or any event. My dancing abilities rival my singing abilities except if they were actually fighting it would be no contest because they would each commit suicide to put themselves out of their misery.
Do you know what it would take for me to do ballroom dancing in public, with cameras in the room?
A shoulder-fired rocket launcher to my head.
And even then I’d be all, “If you think about it, I’ve lived a nice, full life. Who am I to be greedy?”