Remember the XFL? LOL.
I remember it so vividly. My husband was hyper-excited with exclamation points for football during the off-season.
And the rules were a bit different. The two I remember were that there was no such thing as a fair catch, meaning, prepare your teeth to fall out Tom and Jerry style if you’re the punt returner, and the rule that you could get any name you wished on your jersey.
Didn’t have to even be a name! Which gave birth to “He Hate Me.”
I think we cared about the XFL for about 30 minutes.
I wonder how long we’re going to care about the new Pittsburgh arena football team Pittsburgh Power, owned by former Steeler Lynn Swann, which has their inaugural game tomorrow night at CONSOL Energy Center. I honestly don’t know. My husband is once again whipping out exclamatory punctuation that he can watch some form of professional football in the spring and summer. I’m just kind of taking a wait and see approach.
From a completely superficial, non-sports blog, don’t really know nothing ’bout nothing standpoint, here’s what I’ve got my eye on with the Pittsburgh Power:
1. The Dance Team.
Known as The Sparks, they put the boobs in slutty. Did I do that right?
Check ’em out.
Also, I’m just kidding about the slutty thing. Don’t send me emails. I understand these girls are trained dancers and not just, you know, bow-chicka-bow dancers.
As I think it was @shireman on twitter who pointed out that the Pittsburgh Power, somehow, despite being founded in 2010, already have a throwback shirt.
I’m thinking maybe they don’t know what the word “throwback” means?
Or they think Justin Bieber is a throwback to Justin Timberlake.
3. Tickets range from $15 to $180 each. Not bad. Affordable if you’re just looking for something different to do.
4. The first game against the Philadelphia Soul (DUMB NAME) will be announced by Paul Burmeister and Solomon Wilcots, and broadcast on the NFL Network. I will be watching.
5. I wrote a screenplay a long time ago, set in Pittsburgh, about a national anthem singer. In the opening scene, she is singing the national anthem for Pittsburgh’s at-the-time fictional arena football team, The Pittsburgh Bumblebees. TRUE STORY. LOL. What? They’re black and gold! I gotta dig that story out. It was pretty funny.
6. I never really cared about arena football before, so I took some time to familiarize myself with the rules.
- Only eight players on the field for each team.
- Field is 50 yards, not 100.
- Smaller rosters.
- Something called a “drop-kick field goal” earns you four points instead of three.
- You can also drop-kick after a touchdown for two-points instead of one.
- I like to drop kick things. It’s just fun, I don’t care who you are.
7. The team.
- I don’t recognize a single name. Not a one. Because I never followed college ball. [shrug]
- The youngest player is 23. The oldest is 33 and he is the kicker.
- The shortest is a 5’8” wide receiver and the tallest are two 6’6” linemen.
- The most experienced is former NFL kicker Paul Edinger who spent 8 years pro while the majority of the team are rookies.
- Quarterback for the opener is Bernard Morris, whose both first and last names would make great butler names.
- He’ll be backed up by Pine-Richland’s Kevin McCabe, who beat out Penn State’s Anthony Morelli for the job.
- I write like I know who the eff these people are. I don’t. Just being honest.
8. Weird thing I found on Wiki:
Edinger is known for his unusual “corkscrew” kicking motion: before the snap he faces backwards in the direction of the opposite side of the field. As the ball is snapped he turns as he steps in a circular pattern toward the ball.
Wow. He really does.
That’s some bizarre-looking circumbilivagination.