I spoke at Pitt-Greensburg on Friday as part of their writer’s festival. The way the session was set up, I was to present briefly on my story. Who I am, what I did, and most of all, I’m afraid of walking out of this room and never feeling again …
Wait. I just lapsed into Dirty Dancing dialogue, didn’t I?
Anyway, after spending about ten minutes talking about The Burgh Blog, quitting, revealing myself, getting my sorry self fired, and more, I took some questions from the audience.
Wait. I skipped something. As I sat near the stage waiting for the session to start, I noticed this near the corner of the small stage:
And I said, “CRAP! DO THEY THINK I’M GOING TO SHARE MY KICKASS BEAT POETRY WITH THEM ON THE FLY?!” I mean, I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t even bring my cigarettes with me. Or my beret and black turtleneck and anger!
Luckily, those weren’t there for me.
After I spoke, the students in the web writing course then each presented their blogs and I wanted to share them with you because they are pretty freaking awesome.
In the order they appear on my sheet:
Musings from FayetteNam: As you would expect, this blog is all about the amazing things that happen in Fayette County, where good taste goes to die, and is written by a student who is from Fayette County. This post shares the recent story of the couple that fought each other with frying pans, and as she points out, the big question is whether they each had a frying pan to smack each other about the head with or if they shared a frying pan. This is surely a mystery for CSI: Podunk.
Rolling Nomad: A mountain biking blog in which the author posts some really great snapshots. It’s truly a blog with a distinct voice that basically cracks my shit up for lines like this: “We put a turbo in the Nissan Juke so you can be as promiscuous with the ladies as you are with your music! I have a number of problems with this. I’ve never met a girl that was impressed out of her pants by car, let alone a Japanese economy suv thing. And lastly, putting a turbo in a car that looks like a retarded manatee trapped inside a Sketchers Shape-Up is not going to allow me to have ‘sexual relations with a number of partners on a casual basis.’ Unless I can find a girl that’s really turned on by sea-life and bad tennis shoes.” Awesome.
A Conscious Omnivore: Food blog written by Justin whose bio says, “For seventeen years corn was my favorite vegetable. Then I learned it was a grain.” LOL. The goal of his new eating habits was to “slow down his food” and to help you see your food better too. Very interesting and kinda makes me feel embarrassed that I ate cookies for breakfast.
Girl’s a Gearhead: Rachel is probably many guys’ dream girl. She’s 22, adorable, and could probably rebuild the engine of your car. Her father is a mechanic, his father was a mechanic, two uncles on her father’s side are mechanics. Wait. Did I just lapse into My Cousin Vinny dialogue? Sorry. Her father is a mechanic and Rachel grew up around his shop and has helped him work on cars. She also drag races. Think I’m exaggerating her love of cars? “But fortunately the motor turned over about twice and she breathed her first breaths of life! It was a really emotional, and loud, moment for me. Needless to say I burst into tears when it started. It was like all the work from the past 9 months just became real.”
The Alternative and the Underground: The writer classifies herself as Gothic and likes to talk and write about “weird” things, her most recent of which is her love of Little Apple Dolls, which she admits can look a little creepy. People. Burgh Baby. LOOK AT THESE CREEPY CREEPY DOLLS!
I want my Mommy and some sort of supernatural shield to stop them from eating my soul.
The Bassline: A music blog in which the author writes album reviews, mostly rock albums, as well as covers music news he finds interesting. Some recent bands he’s reviewed are The Architects, A Day to Remember, and Kids Icarus (WHAT A BAND NAME!). I’ve never heard of any of those. I clearly need to listen to less country music and more rock so that I can have meaningful music conversations that don’t have me saying at any point “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.”
That Guy from Pitt-Greensburg: C.J. is the quintessential college guy who writes about life on the Pitt-Greensburg campus. I particularly liked his recent rant about why an event he played in was called “Old Skool Kickball” in which he questions the spelling of school and what the hell the difference is between old school and new school kickball. You gotta read his “bottom line” on that post. Hilarious.
Reality is the Twilight Zone: I think I have seen one part of one Twilight Zone episode way back when I was a preteen and it freaked me out so badly I never watched another. Like, it messed with my brain. In this blog, the author is going episode by episode of the Twilight Zone, her favorite show, and tells you the plot, the actors, the twist, and more. She includes screenshots from that episode and then relates that episode for present day things via a “Spin.” For instance, Episode 16 of Season 1 is about a hitchhiker and she then shares some news stories with you about “THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T STOP FOR HITCHHIKERS!”
Check the blogs out! You might find yourself adding a few of them to your Google Reader. I know I did.
And now, a poem for the web writing class at Pitt Greensburg:
I speak. [bongo beat] Shhh. You listened. [snap] I like to pretend I know what the hell I’m talking about. [snap snap] I don’t. [cigarette drag] But let’s pretend I do. [bongo beat] Little Apple Dolls are some freaky shit. [bongo beats] [throws beret into the crowd]
[takes a bow]