Put down the frying pan and milk the goat.

Update: There are only three games left on our Amazon wish list for the “frequent fliers” at Children’s Hospital. In addition, I threw some $15 iTunes cards on the list as well because I AM A GREEDY GREEDY GIRL. Can’t thank you guys enough!  Clicking to purchase the iTunes card will ask you to confirm how many you’re buying and then will take you over to Apple to complete the purchase. Simply ship the cards to The Mario Lemieux Foundation, 816 Fifth Avenue, 6th Floor, Pittsburgh, PA 15219.

__________________

When Fayette County residents aren’t busy engaging in frying pan assault wars, they’re making the news for hoarding animals.

First, I need to tell you that this weekend while I was hunting down a link to the story of the frying pan assault, I figured a quick Google News search of “frying pan pennsylvania” would bring me to the Fayette County story. I figured wrong. There were TWO domestic dispute frying pan assaults in Pennsylvania last week. So I guess it’s like a thing now.

Moving on, the story of the animal hoarding:

A goat, a rabbit, chickens, hamsters, birds and 11 dogs were removed from a home that was deemed uninhabitable in South Union Township, Fayette County.

Internet, this is the saddest goat I’ve ever seen:

(Image from WTAE)

Other news reports say there were actually multiple rabbits, which makes sense, because if you’re going to hoard animals, why have just one rabbit. Get yourself some RABBITS, you know?

Also, there were chinchillas.

This is where I admit I don’t know what a chinchilla is. Kinda like the “knowledge gaps” they talked about on How I Met Your Mother on Monday.

It sounds like a fur a lady would throw around her shoulders for a fancy party, but I don’t think that’s it. I imagine a chinchilla is either like a ferret or some other obscure rodent. Now I Google.

Chinchillas are crepuscular rodents, slightly larger and more robust than ground squirrels,

First, I was right about it being a rodent.

Second, there are probably a lot of ways to contrast a chinchilla and a squirrel.

Robusticity is not one I was expecting.

Finally, the points of my post are this: Fayette County is still Fayette County in all its frying pan wielding animal hoarding glory, and crepuscular rodent is my new insult of choice.

Where’s Steely McBeam?

 





24 Comments

  1. Dan (Not Onorato)
    March 23, 2011 3:38 pm

    You are correct in your assumption Ginny…thats where a lady would get the fur to throw around her shoulders at a fancy party.

    Plus they make fancy schmancy coats



  2. Nate
    March 23, 2011 3:58 pm

    Yes, a chincilla’s fur can be used for fur coats (boo) but it is uber soft and they are just so damn cute … awesome animal and I believe the Pittsburgh Zoo & Aquarium has some on display near the meerkats – sounds like it may be time for a Pittsburgh Magazine article on animals at the zoo … ;-) …



  3. Pensgirl
    March 23, 2011 4:03 pm

    A friend of mine used to have a pet chinchilla. They have the softest fur in the world, which falls out when they become stressed – and that doesn’t take much because they’re the Miles Silverberg of the animal world. They’re also very fragile, so you have to be very delicate when holding them.



  4. Jen
    March 23, 2011 4:12 pm

    Chinchillas are adorable! They remind me of Pikachu.



  5. Lita
    March 23, 2011 4:19 pm

    I have a pet chinchilla – she’s hilarious. I love her crazy, adorable, fuzzy little self. You do have to take some special care with chinchillas – they don’t sweat, so you need to have an air conditioner if the temperature gets above the 70-75 degree mark. They need wood toys or pumice to chew on because their teeth are constantly growing (like other rodents). They like to run and jump, so large, tall cages are a plus. They bathe in special dust (watching ‘dust baths’ on YouTube is highly recommended entertainment).

    They aren’t the most cuddly of creatures, but my chinchilla loves cuddles in the morning when she’s sleepy (they’re nocturnal) – I scratch under her chin and behind her ears, and she’ll tilt her head for more – the cutest thing in the world!



  6. Julia
    March 23, 2011 4:36 pm

    That is really sad. I feel for abused, neglected animals. They can’t speak up and tell someone they need help, you know? I could not be an animal rescuer… I’d want to kill the people hoarding, neglecting, killing, and/or abusing the animals I’d be there to pick up. Not even joking, either. Those people would be in serious danger!!



  7. Mimi
    March 23, 2011 5:39 pm

    I’m with Julia. That picture broke my heart. I want to take that goat home and give him a happy life. I live in Point Breeze, though, so I’m guessing I can’t own a farm animal.

    I hope those degenerates get the maximum punishment allowable by law.



  8. Andrea
    March 23, 2011 6:01 pm

    All I know about chinchillas is they take dirt baths and they’re pretty cute.

    As a native of the ‘Nam, I just shake my head. It’s all I can do besides denying my hometown.



  9. gunnlino
    March 23, 2011 6:44 pm

    Am I seeing this right… the goat cannot walk ?
    From being caged ?
    Srlsy I need to get a baseball bat and find these dimwits and show them what pain is like.



  10. Kathy
    March 23, 2011 6:56 pm

    I’m with the others. That is an awful, awful picture Ginny. The person that kept that goat needs a meeting with a frying pan.



  11. Kathy
    March 23, 2011 6:57 pm

    what do you think of that picture ginny? I’m guessing you’re against it, but then the title…



  12. Virginia
    March 23, 2011 7:06 pm

    If you go to the news story, you will see images of the goat walking.

    Kathy, I say right there in the post “Internet, this is the saddest goat I’ve ever seen.”

    That’s what I think of that picture.

    In addition, the title was merely meant as a joke about the kinds of things I imagine people in Fayette County might say to one another. “Pa, put down the frying pan and milk the goat.”

    I’m not condoning animal cruelty, just making light of the fact that once again there’s a crazy story coming out of Fayette county.



  13. Butcher's Dog
    March 23, 2011 8:22 pm

    Crepuscular Rodents would make a hell of a band name. At least one of the members would require functioning brain cells, though. Just sayin’.

    I’m with gunnlino. Give me a ball bat and let me at some knees. There’s even less excuse for treating animals that way than there is for Matt Cooke’s throwing an elbow to a head.



  14. Weemie
    March 23, 2011 8:31 pm

    Ginny,

    I was trying to purchase an iTunes gift card, but it took me to the Apple site and wants a shipping address. Am I doing something wrong? I just can’t figure out how to purchase it through Amazon so the correct shipping address will populate.

    Just trying to help the SICK KIDS! and the internet won’t cooperate. :)



  15. Kathy
    March 23, 2011 8:32 pm

    hey virginia – sorry didn’t mean to offend. I didn’t think you did, and then started second-guessing myself. Compassion doesn’t really turn on and off like that. Not to compare kids to animals (even though I do, really) but I guess it’s doubtful you’d say, “Give games to the kids and don’t forget to abuse some puppies on the the way home!”



  16. Laura V
    March 23, 2011 9:26 pm

    “Fayette County is still Fayette County in all its frying pan wielding animal hoarding glory”

    to put in a word in Fayette County’s defense, you can totally swim in the river, then put old cigarette butts and rocks all over your dad’s drunk-and-passed-out high school classmate as he snores on the riverbank and take pictures of it for posterity. That’s some good times.



  17. Virginia
    March 23, 2011 9:57 pm

    Weemie:

    Thanks so much!

    I updated the post with these instructions:

    Clicking to purchase the iTunes card will ask you to confirm how many you’re buying and then will take you over to Apple to complete the purchase. Simply ship the cards to The Mario Lemieux Foundation, 816 Fifth Avenue, 6th Floor, Pittsburgh, PA 15219.

    Thanks again. Means a lot to me!



  18. Weemie
    March 23, 2011 10:23 pm

    Thanks for all you do! Glad to do my part for the kids.

    One more question though… I filled in the address as listed above, but it is asking for a shipping contact name, too. I saw the name Nancy Angus listed on the Amazon wish list page, would that be the correct name to use?

    Just wanna make sure the gift card makes it to the right place.



  19. Virginia
    March 23, 2011 10:46 pm

    Yes. Nancy Angus is correct! :)



  20. Weemie
    March 23, 2011 11:01 pm

    Sorry about all the questions. Gift cards are ordered!



  21. bucdaddy
    March 24, 2011 12:42 am

    “Multiple rabbits” is, as you sort of note, redundant, as are most sentences that contain the word “multiple.”

    True story: I got into a rather pointless debate with a PG writer who had used the words “multiple sources” in a story. This irritated me to no end, so I asked, “Since ‘sources’ is already plural, how many more is ‘multiple’ sources?”

    And he replied that the PG stylebook dictates that if you have two sources, you write “two sources said …” but if you have more than two sources, you write “multiple sources said …” So in the interests of clear communication, when the PG used the word “multiple” it means anywhere between “three” and “megaf*ckton.” Which is basically what any plural word means in the first place.

    I hope that helps.

    *rolls eyes*



  22. Butcher's Dog
    March 24, 2011 7:15 am

    @bucdaddy: seems as though the P-G stylebook was created by the same brilliant minds who decided that selling fewer papers was their best business option. Journalism didn’t simply die in America; it committed suicide.



  23. bucdaddy
    March 24, 2011 11:02 am

    It can’t kill itself for another 13 years, when I hit retirement and can start leeching off you young’uns meagre contributions to the SS system.

    Then it can drink cyanide, slit its wrists, tie a noose around its neck and jump from the Smithfield Street Bridge.



  24. Ry Co 40
    March 24, 2011 11:54 am

    in-EFFing-sane:
    “I’d want to kill the people hoarding, neglecting, killing, and/or abusing the animals I’d be there to pick up”

    not insane:
    “I hope those degenerates get the maximum punishment allowable by law”

    F.Y.I., the “maximum punishment allowable by law” SHOULD include baseball bats and frying pans…