To the Yinzermobile, n’at! There’s crime dahntahn!

One of the first emails I read when I returned to Pittsburgh was from Dawn Keezer of the Pittsburgh Film Office finally confirming that Batman will be filming in Pittsburgh this summer.

So the squeee (my God, how is that not a word yet, Mr. Merriam Spellcheck?) I let out on the plane as it taxied to the gate, coupled with the previous “OUT, DAMN SPOT!” ranting of a mother traveling by plane with small children, pretty much put the nail in my Crazy Lady coffin, as far as my planemates were concerned.

The superhero movies are, to me, the movie events of the year in all their upside down Spider Man kissing, explosion kabooming, damsel in distress-saving glory. Love them.

And to have one of them, arguably the biggest of them all, filmed right here in Pittsburgh? I will put the Taylor Lautner-stalking teeny-boppers to shame with my Batmobile stalking practices.  I’ll be all, “OMG. THERE IT IS! I THINK ITS HEADLIGHT JUST WINKED AT ME! I WANT TO TOUCH MY PRECIOUSSSSSSS.”

Christopher Nolan says he chose Pittsburgh because it’s a “beautiful city.”

E! Online says, um …

Commenters to that post say:

At least they’ll have plenty of options if they have an open-call for thug-like characters.

Pittsburg may be a nice place to live, but it definitely is in the middle of nowhere.

I say:

Yeehaw, mama, the dagnabit goat got aht the yard again. Pa’s gonna holler like a dadgum banshee. I’ma go shuck some corn, ya hear?

And last, but certainly not least, the celebrity-loving, Tiger Woods-stalking Luke Ravenstahl says:

“This is another example of the growing film industry in our community and we will be rolling out the red carpet for them.”

Let me translate:  “I am going to proclamate the dadgum shit out of this.”





32 Comments

  1. Kathy
    April 7, 2011 1:59 am

    Will they add frying pans to a scene in honor of Pittsburgh.



  2. YinzerInExile
    April 7, 2011 6:37 am

    I have to keep reminding myself that the most annoying aspect of Random E Commenter’s comment is also the nicest. Pittsburgh will never–EVER–get the across-the-board respect it deserves as a center for culture/arts/education/tech/meds/etc., let alone being generally awesome and gorgeous place to live.

    And that keeps a preponderance of the jagoffs out.

    What did that comment even mean? “It’s in the middle of nowhere”? Are people in, say, New York routinely lining up to go to Connecticut in search of things to do?

    When you live *in a city* which has pretty much everything that any other city has, WHY DO YOU NEED ANOTHER CLOSE CITY???



  3. Cassie
    April 7, 2011 8:07 am

    To the person who wrote this comment on the E site:

    “I’ve lived in the Pittsburgh area for 25 years and I have nothing positive to say about it. It’s a sports town whose entire identity rides on winning championships and thinking its cute and culturally significant to put French Fries on salads and sandwiches. People are parochial, snobbish, bigoted, and/or racist here. I have no love for this city or its obnoxious population and look forward to leaving it someday soon.”

    I say, “Good day, n’at.”

    Bitter much?



  4. Butcher's Dog
    April 7, 2011 8:16 am

    Well, if Pittsburgh is the middle of nowhere then I guess I live on the edge of nowhere. Glad I finally have that cleared up. The rest of the comments don’t really merit acknowledgement. Over the decades people certainly have left because they have to, not because they want to. That didn’t necessarily strengthen us. Anyone who leaves because s/he wants to leave probably will strengthen us.

    And as Cassie says about being bitter, I’m pretty convinced that if you’re not happy within yourself you won’t be happy no matter where you are or what possessions you have. Henry David Thoreau wrote: “The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation.” Seems to apply to the person who typed what Cassie shared with us.

    Again, sorry to go all English Teacher on everyone. Resume normal activities.



  5. bucdaddy
    April 7, 2011 8:56 am

    Scene: Somewhere in Pittsburgh, January

    The evil evil Pigeonman has robbed an elderly Yinzer of her pirogie and Batman is summoned to the scene, but is forced to drive the Batmobile around and around her block looking for a parking space that doesn’t have a chair in it.



  6. Baba Wawa
    April 7, 2011 9:50 am

    oh my god bucdaddy…i just choked on my poptart n’at



  7. Christina
    April 7, 2011 9:55 am

    I would say a 50 minutes grashopper flight from New York City is not exactly what I would call “in the middle of nowhere”. Just sayin’

    BTW … have fun here in Germany with that Batman news. Friends are teasing me here like: “Uh … your Pittsburgh is SO nice that it makes a good GOTHAM? Well, I am sure that means it’s pretty *har har har*!”

    Ginny: There is Gary Oldman on the casting list. Could you do some stalking for me??? SUCH a fantastic actor!!!



  8. SpudMom
    April 7, 2011 10:10 am

    I saw that eonline article when they put it up and I read the comments – the vast majority of them (at the time) were from proud Burghers who stood up and applauded our city. I think the very first comment was someone pointing out that we’ve been voted the “most livable city” more than once.



  9. HorseShoeBend
    April 7, 2011 11:02 am

    Continuing #5 bucdaddy
    Not having luck with finding a parking space, Batman decides to knock on doors but having previously had a sandwich w/ fries on it needs some relief. One neighborly fellow sees this supsicious looking individual, likes his car, and knowing his issue directs him to the landing on the basement stairs. Batman has troubles removing his get up but he is sure glad that that toilet is there for whatever reason. Needing a minute, they both sit and watch the game and both cheer as bucs go up by 2…Go Bucs! (I know its January but..) Batman leaves for the ballyard feeling a sense of history and forgetting all about those miserable chairs and the yinzer’s pierogie with thoughts now of scoring a pop and a hoagie.

    Next?



  10. Me
    April 7, 2011 11:13 am

    “Pittsburg may be a nice place to live, but it definitely is in the middle of nowhere.”

    Yes, Pittsburg, Kansas and/or Pittsburg, California might be described as being in the middle of nowhere…

    It never ceases to amaze me that people can read an entire article about Pittsburgh and then drop down into the comments and misspell it.



  11. Cassie
    April 7, 2011 11:27 am

    Don’t people realize that in Pittsburgh we’re fancy because we have the H at the end? Some of us also lift our pinkies while we drink our IC Lite n’at.



  12. Stephen
    April 7, 2011 11:39 am

    Don’t forget: the people who work in entertainment and write for Variety and eat lunch with their agent think “middle of nowhere” is “anything outside of a ten-mile radius of LA or New York.” They live safe, risk-free, culturally isolated lives without having to interact with the people who buy tickets or turn on their TVs at night.

    Pittsburghers take life and turn it into a vibrant blend of realistic work ethic, innovative culture, and awesome food that doesn’t come of the same box as everyone else.

    Pittsburgh ain’t perfect, but at least we’re not living sanitized plastic lives just like everyone else while blissfully walking into a bland Gommorahesque dystopia. Pittsburgh is great because it’s Pittsburgh.



  13. CrashJK
    April 7, 2011 12:15 pm

    THOR > Batman….ymmv

    LET’s GO PENS…..and Buccos !!!



  14. Silica
    April 7, 2011 12:21 pm

    @Cassie: I keep thinking about that comment you copied and even though I think I’m reasonably intelligent (though that could be my Pittsburgh snobbishness) – my brain is boggling over the idea that putting french fries on a salad or sandwich and liking it is anywhere near cultural elitism. It almost seems like…you know…the complete opposite.

    Are we supposed to be ashamed of where we come from? I was born in New Jersey, so I can understand that impulse, but…then I met my husband, who convinced me to move here, and I’ve been loving it ever since.



  15. Joe K.
    April 7, 2011 12:54 pm

    I just hope Batman isn’t a Republican. :)



  16. HorseShoeBend
    April 7, 2011 12:54 pm

    PNC park is the crown jewel of mlb parks. #15 definitely a hoax….Go Bucs!!!



  17. Cassie
    April 7, 2011 1:03 pm

    @Silica, I know. I was confused by that person, myself. When I went to a restaurant in Minneapolis (where I’m from) and asked them to put fries on top, they looked at me like I was homeless and asking to spit shine their shoes.

    Personally, I thought I was adorable to ask such things, but I guess, like the commenter said, I must be a Pittsburgher.



  18. Butcher's Dog
    April 7, 2011 1:05 pm

    OK, so you drove some traffic to a site that proclaims fake news in the masthead. Congratulations. That’s one more thing I can cross off my bucket list.

    Continuing # 5 and 9: When Batman arrives he realized there are seats available in the All You Can Eat section. Scoring one of those, he consumes so much ballpark food that he accidentally activates the Bat Signal on his belt. Ginny, sitting at home watching on TV, sees the signal and immediately springs into action. Donning her black turtleneck, beret, and tight jeans that define her sessions as the hip/beat/bongo-backed poet of the Pittsburgh Cultural Scene (underground division), she dodges the Dread Lord Zorber and heads dahntahn for the rendevous. The future of Pittsburgh cultural snobbery depends on her every move.

    OK, someone. Tag…you’re it!



  19. Mary
    April 7, 2011 1:07 pm

    This post might have my favorite post title of all time. As for the haters, I’m fine with a lot of people not appreciating Pittsburgh if that means it will stay super-affordable until I’m able to leave New York City to move there. That’s right, I’d rather live in Pittsburgh than New York City because I can’t think of much New York offers me that Pittsburgh couldn’t besides crippling debt. Pittsburgh, like New York and LA, is not for everybody, and that’s A-OK.



  20. bluzdude
    April 7, 2011 1:19 pm

    Would “Dread Lord Zober” not make a great Batman villain character?

    “Batman??? I will destroy him!”



  21. Noelle
    April 7, 2011 1:38 pm

    bluzdude, you done it again! I spat my tea at the monitor! :)



  22. unsatisfied
    April 7, 2011 1:39 pm

    Pittsburgh: the city that always has to defend itself.



  23. Stephen
    April 7, 2011 2:00 pm

    “Pittsburgh: the city that always has to defend itself.”

    Cue Renegade.



  24. gunnlino
    April 7, 2011 2:02 pm

    @ Joe K.; Geez buddy give it a rest .



  25. Marcy
    April 7, 2011 3:28 pm

    I’ll just add what my fiance, who grew up in Boston and has lived in other big cities, always says about the Burgh: we have everything all the great cities have, although maybe not in a big a quantity – for example, we have fine restaurants, but not as many as NYC. We have excellent theater, but not as much as London. But when you add to that our world-class sports teams and arenas, our rivers and gorgeous architecture, and the ability to get into the city easily from almost any suburb in a reasonable amount of time and then park your car without taking out a loan. And so what if we have a little less of the great things we have? How many restaurants can you eat in at one time. This is a great place to live and we need to just be happy we have it and not give a hoot who doesn’t know it – we know it!



  26. Marcy
    April 7, 2011 3:30 pm

    Wow, that was full of typos and incomplete sentences. But lots of love!



  27. infinonymous
    April 7, 2011 5:25 pm

    Mary: I can’t think of much New York offers me that Pittsburgh couldn’t besides crippling debt.

    Your plan is to become part of Pittsburgh’s moribund economy to avoid crippling debt?

    Google: InsolvenCity.



  28. Mary
    April 7, 2011 5:34 pm

    @infinonymous:

    1) I didn’t say I would leave New York only to avoid debt. I personally just think it’s crazy to spend so much money to live here. Have you ever tried to pay rent in New York, let alone buy real estate? Forgetting the jacked up prices for goods and services here compared to other places even within 50 miles. I promise despite other disparities, living in Pittsburgh will save me money and sanity, even if I make less than half my current salary. You commute 2 hours a day on a crippled, aging transit system and work 70 hours a week just to “scrape by”. I haven’t had any relevant amount of savings in my adult lifetime and I do relatively “well” professionally.

    2) http://www.bls.gov/web/metro/laummtrk.htm New York’s unemployment rate is higher than Pittsburgh’s (as of February 2011).

    3) The real point I was making in a tongue-in-cheek way is just that Pittsburgh is not perfect, and neither is New York. Yet I love Pittsburgh and think it has so much to offer despite its shortcomings. It’s as underrated in my opinion as New York is overrated. (I love things about New York, too. It’s just wearing me out.)



  29. YinzerInExile
    April 7, 2011 8:15 pm

    @infinonymous

    I do not understand. Yes, the city has financial issues. But the sanity of the real estate market, combined with job prospects (especially in particular fields) bodes quite well for many people. I shall return, once I’m finished with my ridiculous education, and, all things being equal, can anticipate doing much better in Pittsburgh than anywhere else I’ve lived since undergrad.



  30. Da' Burgh Boy
    April 8, 2011 6:04 am

    I’m a HUGE fan of all things Pittsburgh and all things Batman, which makes me apprehensive about combining the two. Will Batman be great for Pittsburgh? You bet. Will it be great for a Pittsburgher? Not so sure.

    More details here: http://www.daburghboys.com/2011/04/dark-thoughts.html



  31. bucdaddy
    April 8, 2011 11:12 am

    I thought “The Dark Knight” was pretty good but it reinforced my notion that the success of a superhero movie is directly related to how interesting the villain is and has little to do with the hero himself. And very, very few superhero movies have really fascinating villains IMO.

    Because really, every superhero movie is pretty much the same, at least insofar as who is going to win in the end. They can’t kill off Batman, so you know how this is going to play out.

    And with all due respect to comics fans, that bores me to tears.

    Yes, I suppose you can say that about most movies in general — there’s a hero, and the hero wins. But I prefer my heroes more like Bruce Willis in “Die Hard,” to be people who can actually cut and bleed before they (however foreordained) win in the end.