The Good, The Bad, The Cedeno.

As a city, we’re wrapped up in Penguins fever right now, and rightfully so.

But let me put a cool cloth to your feverish head and get you up to speed on what’s happening with one of the other currently active professional sports teams in Pittsburgh.

Your Pittsburgh Pirates (don’t shake your head. They’re yours too), after a dismal home stand, have fought and clawed their way back to .500 ball, and now sit one game out of first place along with three other teams in the NL Central. Kind of like the first legs of a horse race, we’re waiting for teams to start pulling away from the pack.

Here’s what’s weird: Last year the Pirates played well at home (40-41) and stank like the decaying flesh of the recently deceased when on the road (17-64).

This year, they’re 1-5 at home and 7-3 on the road.

That statistic gives my mind the bogglejiggities.

A couple other statistics that will boggle your mind with the jiggities (I’m going to make this a thing if I have to beat it into you people):

  • Pedro Alvarez, the pride of Pirates baseball, is currently batting .193. OUCH. He sat out last night’s game in an effort to allow him to clear his head and also to probably stop him from dropping to .180. We need either an intervention or an exorcism, apparently.
  • Ronny Cedeno, the sometimes embarrassing bastard child of Pirates baseball, is currently batting .191. OOF.
  • Before being taken out with an injury, Ross Ohlendorf, a pitcher, was batting .333.
  • Charlie Morton, who last year stank like something stinkier than decaying flesh — Steely McBeam’s farts, let’s say, is pitching with a 1.64 ERA and pitched a complete game last week. Compare that to the 2 wins, 12 losses, zero complete games, and a 7.57 ERA from last year and he apparently has shaken the suck off thus far.
  • Not only has Charlie pitched a complete game, Kevin Correia pitched a complete game yesterday in the Buccos win over the Reds. That’s two complete games from Suckitude pitchers so far this season.
  • During all of 2010, do you know how many complete games were pitched by Suckitude pitchers? ONE.

Now, I know these stats don’t really mean anything. I know it’s a long season. I know that which is not sucking could begin to suck and that which is currently sucking could stop sucking. But it’s a ray of hope and maybe the up and down roller coaster of suck will even out soon.

Also …

DEAR PEDRO ALVAREZ, PLEASE STOP SUCKING.





19 Comments

  1. Ben
    April 19, 2011 11:39 am

    If the Bucs can get out of April with a .500 record, I will try to start believing. It’s pretty cool, so far.



  2. Butcher's Dog
    April 19, 2011 1:03 pm

    It’s probably too early for me to say I told you so, so I won’t just yet. Still, every point Ginny makes is a valid one. Back near the start of spring training I opined that they were better this year regardless of record. So I guess I just said I told you so. Anyway, once they ditch Cedeno and get a functional human being to play shortstop, they’ll be even better.

    One stat Ginny omitted: last year they won only four series on the road. This year they’ve won three so far and the water table’s still rising. Just sayin’.



  3. spoon
    April 19, 2011 1:43 pm

    2 words – mendoza line



  4. unsatisfied
    April 19, 2011 2:06 pm

    they’re still shitty.



  5. Greg
    April 19, 2011 2:32 pm

    Hey, don’t knock Cedeno too much, he had a HECK of a catch/double play on Sunday’s game.

    The starters are looking good, and the bat’s aren’t that anemic….so I have hope. 8)



  6. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    April 19, 2011 3:04 pm

    Yea Buccos! Pedro will stop sucking at the plate around May. I could do without the drama that Joel Hanrahan likes to bring to the 9th inning, but I’m enjoying the season so far. They’ll get back on track at home this weekend. Let’s Go Bucs!!!



  7. Magnus Patris
    April 19, 2011 3:08 pm

    I’m impressed with Lyle Overbay. At least now I can salvage my Jason Bay shirt by writing “OVER” and “-1″on it with a Sharpie. Also, notice how the games where the Pirates kick ass aren’t televised?



  8. Just A Simple Man
    April 19, 2011 3:54 pm

    @magnus. While walking out of the home opener some one had a Jason Bay shirt with “Over” and -1 on it but he used electrical tape (just in case they trade him I guess)a sharpie would be too permanent, no?



  9. Chris
    April 19, 2011 3:58 pm

    Wow .500 ball. Keep drinking that Nutting Kool-Aid kids.



  10. Just A Simple Man
    April 19, 2011 4:17 pm

    16 teams .500 to .750 (Cleveland .750)
    15 teams below .500

    Nice positive that they are 500. Could be worse.
    Its 16 down, 146 to go.



  11. unsatisfied
    April 19, 2011 5:15 pm

    boy, are we easily pleased succos fans or what?



  12. Aileen
    April 19, 2011 8:33 pm

    @spoon –

    Cedeno may be the heir apparent to the Mendoza line. At some point, it may become the Cedeno line. (Or that might be a euphemism for bad baserunning, lack of range by a shortstop, overthrowing the 2nd baseman on a potential double play ball…) Not to be critical.



  13. spoon
    April 19, 2011 10:01 pm

    You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Lollygaggers!



  14. spoon
    April 19, 2011 10:09 pm

    If you want to feel good too…

    Boston Red Sox: 5-10
    Payroll: $160,257,476

    Pittsburgh Pirates:8-9
    Payroll: $45,630,000



  15. unsatisfied
    April 19, 2011 11:01 pm

    here’s another stat:

    games played thus far: 17

    games in total to be played this season: 162



  16. Cheri
    April 20, 2011 9:46 am

    Can anybody tell me what is going on with Garrett Jones? Last year he was batting 4th or around there and this year he is not even always in the lineup. Did he have a bad off season or spring training or what? Have been wondering – thanks.



  17. Butcher's Dog
    April 20, 2011 11:53 am

    spoon wins. Bull Durham is one of the all-time best baseball movies ever.



  18. Paul
    April 20, 2011 11:55 am

    Run differential is key to me, ala do they score more runs than they give up. Right now they are -16 runs. You can’t win games if you score less than you give up.



  19. unsatisfied
    April 20, 2011 1:34 pm

    @cheri — actually, he’s had a bad career.