1. Recent super light posting has been brought to you by Lung Cheese. Motto: “[cough] [hack] [gag]”
Today will be more of the same, except maybe with more cowbell.
2. Is “more cowbell” the greatest pop culture reference to enter our daily lexicon in the last twenty years?
I believe so.
3. Last night I walked into my bedroom to find my dog standing very still on his hind legs. When I turned on the light, he froze, looked at me, and then dropped down to all fours and walked out.
I think my dog might be a closet upright walker.
4. Pedro Alvarez went 0 for 3 last night, bringing his batting average to a vomitous .183.
Ronny Cedeno went 0 for 3 as well and brought his batting average down to a putrid .180.
Also, the Pirates fell below. 500 ball again, so we’re back to not talking about those piece of suck losers.
5. A 13-year-old boy delivered his new baby sister and the kicker (KICKER! GET IT?! Fetuses kick like mothers. MOTHERS! GET IT?!) was that the mother didn’t know she was pregnant.
Now, I know this is not a new phenomenon, but it is a medical phenomenon that my brain rejects on account of how my own pregnancies went.
I mean, between the heartburn and the indigestion and the finger numbness and the general fatness and the acute ankle elephantitis and the kicking and the kicking and the GOD-AWFUL KICKING and the way a baby has of taking all your important organs and shoving them to a tiny crawl space in the back of your body so your pancreas is all up in your kidneys’ faces, and add to that the exhaustion, the moodiness, the big giant boobs out of nowhere, and then you’ve got an eight-month-old fetus using your bladder as a punching-bag, and I just don’t understand how a woman could not know she was pregnant until a baby started trying to break out of the womb.
6. There is a Lego convention coming to the David L. Lawrence Convention Center this summer.
I can’t wait to tell my son. “LEGO CONVENTION?! HOW COOL IS THAT! I CAN’T WAIT! WHOOO!”
I think he’ll be excited too.
I can’t help it. I love Legos. I just hate cleaning up Legos.
The Oreck does a good job though.
7. One of my Pittsburgh New Year’s Resolutions was to visit the Franktuary and I did that today for lunch.
I chose the Mexico hot dog. (note: I can’t call a hot dog a “frankfurter” because it sounds too much like fart and next to penis I think fart is the ugliest word in the English language. Phlegm is pretty high up there too.)
It’s a hot dog topped with cheddar cheese, mango salsa and guacamole and it is the best hot dog I have ever had, hands down.
Here it is before I destroyed it like a boss.
Licking your monitor will only further frustrate you.
Get thee down to the Franktuary to try it yourself. It’s on Oliver. Look for the red hot dogs sign.
8. This Rob Rogers Brewed on Grant in which Lukey is dressed up as Robin might be my most favorite one yet.
In an episode of The Baristas, there is a part where one of the characters is reportedly off camera running up and down the street screaming “Peduto” at things.
So now, when I next see Bill Peduto, who I love, I’m going to say “Peduto!” but I’ll say it like Seinfeld says “Newman!”
Also, Rob Rogers, the juice box will never get old. NEVER.
9. I’m just linking to this and not writing about it because what if that’s one of your grandfathers or something?!
The title of the post over at The Superficial is “Ke$ha Made a Friend” and that friend is in Pittsburgh and that friend is standing in a window of the Pittsburgh Athletic Association building and that friend is VERY VERY NAKED.
(h/t Scott and Mike)
I’m particularly excited to see who wins best Local Twitter Feed.
My vote is easily for @cranberryperson.
As for my vote for Worst Pittsburghese Accent.
I promise you that’s not a rickroll.