Random n’at.

1. Recent super light posting has been brought to you by Lung Cheese. Motto: “[cough] [hack] [gag]”

Today will be more of the same, except maybe with more cowbell.

2. Is “more cowbell” the greatest pop culture reference to enter our daily lexicon in the last twenty years?

I believe so.

3. Last night I walked into my bedroom to find my dog standing very still on his hind legs. When I turned on the light, he froze, looked at me, and then dropped down to all fours and walked out.

I think my dog might be a closet upright walker.

[shudder]

4. Pedro Alvarez went 0 for 3 last night, bringing his batting average to a vomitous .183.

Ronny Cedeno went 0 for 3 as well and brought his batting average down to a putrid .180.

Also, the Pirates fell below. 500 ball again, so we’re back to not talking about those piece of suck losers.

5. A 13-year-old boy delivered his new baby sister and the kicker (KICKER! GET IT?! Fetuses kick like mothers. MOTHERS! GET IT?!) was that the mother didn’t know she was pregnant.

Now, I know this is not a new phenomenon, but it is a medical phenomenon that my brain rejects on account of how my own pregnancies went.

I mean, between the heartburn and the indigestion and the finger numbness and the general fatness and the acute ankle elephantitis and the kicking and the kicking and the GOD-AWFUL KICKING and the way a baby has of taking all your important organs and shoving them to a tiny crawl space in the back of your body so your pancreas is all up in your kidneys’ faces, and add to that the exhaustion, the moodiness, the big giant boobs out of nowhere, and then you’ve got an eight-month-old fetus using your bladder as a punching-bag, and I just don’t understand how a woman could not know she was pregnant until a baby started trying to break out of the womb.

6. There is a Lego convention coming to the David L. Lawrence Convention Center this summer.

I can’t wait to tell my son. “LEGO CONVENTION?! HOW COOL IS THAT! I CAN’T WAIT! WHOOO!”

I think he’ll be excited too.

I can’t help it. I love Legos. I just hate cleaning up Legos.

The Oreck does a good job though.

7. One of my Pittsburgh New Year’s Resolutions was to visit the Franktuary and I did that today for lunch.

I chose the Mexico hot dog. (note: I can’t call a hot dog a “frankfurter” because it sounds too much like fart and next to penis I think fart is the ugliest word in the English language. Phlegm is pretty high up there too.)

It’s a hot dog topped with cheddar cheese, mango salsa and guacamole and it is the best hot dog I have ever had, hands down.

Here it is before I destroyed it like a boss.

Licking your monitor will only further frustrate you.

Get thee down to the Franktuary to try it yourself. It’s on Oliver. Look for the red hot dogs sign.

8. This Rob Rogers Brewed on Grant in which Lukey is dressed up as Robin might be my most favorite one yet.

In an episode of The Baristas, there is a part where one of the characters is reportedly off camera running up and down the street screaming “Peduto” at things.

So now, when I next see Bill Peduto, who I love, I’m going to say “Peduto!” but I’ll say it like Seinfeld says “Newman!”

Also, Rob Rogers, the juice box will never get old. NEVER.

(h/t D.)

9. I’m just linking to this and not writing about it because what if that’s one of your grandfathers or something?!

The title of the post over at The Superficial is “Ke$ha Made a Friend” and that friend is in Pittsburgh and that friend is standing in a window of the Pittsburgh Athletic Association building and that friend is VERY VERY NAKED.

(h/t Scott and Mike)

10. The Pittsburgh Magazine Best of the Burgh voting is live.

I’m particularly excited to see who wins best Local Twitter Feed.

My vote is easily for @cranberryperson.

As for my vote for Worst Pittsburghese Accent.

TOO EASY.

I promise you that’s not a rickroll.

 





21 Comments

  1. Butcher's Dog
    April 20, 2011 4:10 pm

    Ginny, the step you’re standing on on the bandwagon must still have some slushy ice on it from the winter if one game below .500 has you sliding off. Just sayin’.

    Photo of the hotdog kinda looks like you hit the end of it first before snapping the picture. Quality control? That’d be my story.



  2. Michelle B
    April 20, 2011 4:19 pm

    I’m 6 months pregnant, and I hear you on the ‘How could you possibly NOT know you were pregnant?’ train of thought…but, listen to the intro to the This American Life show titled ‘Slow to React’. I actually believed this woman didn’t know she was pregnant. Fair warning, listen to the rest of the show, and you’ll never let your kids out of your sight ever again.



  3. bluzdude
    April 20, 2011 4:23 pm

    Was there actually a hot dog under there? I wasn’t sure.

    I smell an Ugliest Word in the English Language contest coming up… I nominate “Smegma.” That’s got “penis” covered.

    No, wait…



  4. Ann
    April 20, 2011 4:25 pm

    Ginny – a super funny post, for sure. I needed all those chuckles. Thanks.



  5. dand
    April 20, 2011 4:50 pm

    The Franktuary Mexico dog is in fact the best hot dog ever. Pretty sure it’s been scientifically proven by researchers from CMU and Pitt.



  6. VAgirl
    April 20, 2011 5:08 pm

    Loved the cartoon and thanks for the link to the Barista’s. I had a girlfriend who went through a similar event (pregnancy). She thought she was (usual signs) and went to her Dr but the prego-tests came back negative. She was scheduled for a D&C but wanted to wait until she had vacation to recover. Well anyway to make a long story short, she delivered on the kitchen floor.



  7. LisaB
    April 20, 2011 5:32 pm

    Tornado Boy and his accent belong on a “Greg & Donny” video. And now, thanks to you, I NEED one of those Mexidogs from Franktuary. Guacamole is my friend.



  8. Cassie
    April 20, 2011 6:15 pm

    No one likes being sick, but when you are, you’re super funny.



  9. Aileen
    April 20, 2011 6:47 pm

    All I know is that I have a 13 year old son and there is NO WAY he would have stuck around to help deliver a baby.

    This is the same sweet child, that while in utero, would do awkward kung fu moves all night long. That’s why I always wonder about these “I didn’t know I was pregnant” stories.



  10. Noelle
    April 20, 2011 8:30 pm

    @dand, you silly thing! There are no reputable researchers at Pitt! *kidding!!!! don’t hurt me*. That dog is making me go all Pavlov in a big huge way.



  11. DG
    April 20, 2011 9:04 pm

    #7 – my favorite is the Germany. That place is far too close to my office building. They don’t even have to ask my name anymore. Diet, sigh….



  12. Mike
    April 20, 2011 9:57 pm

    I highly recommend the Italy Dog at Franktuary (and thank goodness for their bicycle delivery, even to parts of The Hill): grape tomatoes, mozzarella cheese and garlic olive oil.

    Also, if you like cowbell, check out Voodoo More Cowbell Imperial Oatmeal Stout, on tap at D’s Monroeville. It tastes like chocolate milk and the tap has a cowbell that rings every time one is poured.



  13. Barb
    April 20, 2011 10:34 pm

    After Saturday’s Roller Derby, I can confidently say that there *is* such as thing as too much cowbell.

    And not know that you’re pregnant? I can’t fathom that after the kicking, kicking, acute ankle elephantitis, and kicking. Yikes!



  14. AngryMongo
    April 21, 2011 8:38 am

    #9 That guy in the window has about the same appeal as K-E-dollar sign-HA. Probably the same amount of talent, too.



  15. Paul
    April 21, 2011 8:46 am

    That’s not a hot dog, that’s a lifestyle choice. Also, looks awesome and I’m gonna have to check out the Franktuary.



  16. facie
    April 21, 2011 9:38 am

    That is so funny about your dog. Thanks for the laugh. It went well with my hacking cough!



  17. red pen mama
    April 21, 2011 10:12 am

    I may get flamed for even suggesting such a thing, but I want that Mexican dog … with a vegetarian hot dog. That looks good!

    Not clicking to the naked guy, although it’s safe to say it’s not one of MY grandfathers. Unless I missed something in there about zombies.

    I gotta go watch some BaristaTV. Maybe tomorrow when my office has tumbleweeds blowing through it.

    Rob Rogers is brilliant.

    I’m thinking you caught your dog about to knock something off a shelf and chew on it, or pee standing up or something.

    My brain is super wonky today.

    As for not knowing you’re pregnant: I get the idea generally, like if you really think you can’t be pregnant, you’re going to ascribe a lot of symptoms to other ailments. (Still: see a doctor!) But then I get to the kicking baby part and think, “Yeah, what would a woman think that is? Her kidneys and stomach staging a revolution or something?”

    I’m out. Peace!



  18. unsatisfied
    April 21, 2011 11:41 am

    did someone say, “rickroll”?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4R-7ZO4I1pI



  19. Megan
    April 22, 2011 10:35 am

    I SAW you at Franktuary when you were there. I did a bit of a double-take because in my mind you’re a local celeb. I figured you probably frequented Franktuary often because you are cool as are they, but glad that you finally got to check it out.



  20. bucdaddy
    April 22, 2011 10:59 am

    the big giant boobs out of nowhere

    You say that like it’s a bad thing. I pretty much live my life hoping that happens when I walk around the corner.

    Also, here’s a beautiful word for an ugly thing:

    melanoma



  21. StacyfrPgh
    April 22, 2011 3:51 pm

    Didn’t anyone else think that the PAA photo was Photoshopped?