Cirque du Soleil giveaway and discount offer. Woo!

UPDATE: Random number generator selected comment #65. The winner has been notified via email.



It’s been some years since I’ve seen Cirque du Soleil perform, but I still remember so distinctly my thoughts during the show:







Seriously, how do they bend like that? Hold that pose while hoisting five other men? Throw that? Balance that? Do that? Become that?

There always comes a point in a Cirque du Soleil show that I decide this is the year I get me a six-pack of abs and maybe the ability to spin a hula hoop on my pinky finger while somersaulting the hell out of some somersaults. Then the lights come up and I go, “That was awesome. Also, I could go for some carrot cake.”

This year, Cirque du Soleil is coming back to Pittsburgh and when they invited me to the media preview I said of course I want to go, but I need two tickets to give to my readers too because I LOVE THOSE GUYS.

So, if you’d like the chance to win two tickets to the May 17 showing of Cirque du Soleil, wish granted.

What: Two tickets to Cirque du Soleil’s new touring show TOTEM, describes as thus:

TOTEM traces the fascinating journey of the human species from its original amphibian state to its ultimate desire to fly. The characters evolve on a stage evoking a giant turtle, the symbol of origin for many ancient civilizations.

Inspired by many founding myths, TOTEM illustrates, through a visual and acrobatic language, the evolutionary progress of species.

Somewhere between science and legend TOTEM explores the ties that bind Man to other species, his dreams and his infinite potential.

When: Tuesday, May 17 at 8:00 p.m.

Where: In the Strip District under the Grand Chapiteau at 20th and A.V.R.R.

Value: $130.00

How to enter: Leave a comment in the comments section, one comment per valid email address and so you have something to tell me, tell me what’s the one physical ability you wish you excelled at or at the very least, were capable of doing without looking like a pregnant three-legged rhino.

Springboard diving?

Salsa dancing?

Plate spinning?


Tight rope walking?

Me? Even though I’ve never successfully executed a cartwheel in my life, I think I’d like to be a trapeze artist. Flying through the air like that, waiting for someone to catch you on the other side? What a rush.

Tell me yours. If your comment goes to spam, punch your keyboard so hard the E key stops working.

No, don’t do that. You know the drill. I’ll fish ’em out and repost them for you.

You have until noon on Thursday, April 28 to get your comment in at which time will pick the winning comment number.

If you don’t win, BONUS!

Ticket discount offer: If you’re in the market to buy tickets, which by the way, heck of a Mother’s Day present idea, you can click here for their Mother’s Day offer for Pittsburgh.

Celebrate Mom with a thrilling Cirque du Soleil experience! Treat your mother to a memorable Cirque du Soleil experience by taking advantage of our special offers on show tickets—bring your family of four to a show for only $131!

Maybe I’ll see you there.

I’ll be the chick with carrot cake icing on her lips and a burning desire to do a cartwheel in her heart.


  1. Susan
    April 27, 2011 12:05 am

    Dance (without looking like Elaine on Seinfeld!)

  2. Kristy
    April 27, 2011 12:24 am

    I wish I could be a graceful ballet dancer. Graceful movements are not my strong point. Nor is pointing my toes too much…that just hurts.

  3. Janelle
    April 27, 2011 1:19 am

    Ballet. I used to be a ballerina but don’t think I particularly excelled. I stopped when I was 13 and have been wanting to get into it again.

    Plus I can’t do cool things like cartwheels or any kind of impressive flip that seemingly all girls are able to do, especially if a trampoline is present. And I can’t roll my tongue, and everyone else in my family can. I’m the freak of the family.

  4. Colette Garmer
    April 27, 2011 3:31 am

    How I wish I could do a lot of things since have over a dozen surgeries. So in thinking of what I’d like to do physically, hmmnnn, I think I’d like to be able to run. Running comes in handy. A small child precariously dangling on something you know is going to fall… voila! Run and yank the little buggar off it. How about when it starts to downpour and you decided to park a long way from the mall door just to get healthy? And let’s hope I’m aways able to run from a criminal or a fire in my house. What cracks me up is how I have to swaddle my belly between my arms in order to stop all those adhesions from talking back to me in the form of pain. It’s my body saying, “So, you thought you could run. Well take this jab of pain and that excruciating cramp. Oh yeah, there’s where every surgeon tied his knot. Don’t make me run again or the liver gets it!”

  5. Kate
    April 27, 2011 7:09 am

    I’d like to be able to dance well. I’m not quite Elaine from Seinfield, but still…

  6. Amanda
    April 27, 2011 7:21 am

    Shake my ass. yeah – I said it. Recently I was coerced into taking a zumba class at the local Y. All around me were these 65 and older ladies who were shakin it *like a polaroid picture* Seriously they were achieving hip shake speeds that looked like those fat jiggler exercise belt machines from the 1950s (I know you know what I mean, but just in case check this out. But if you really want to arch your eyebrows, check THIS out: So anyway – took a zumba class was totally inept. I stood there in frozen slow-mo like a tranquilized panda. Then I started getting humiliating flashbacks to high school gym class and decided to walk out. That’s the glory of being an adult, you can just walk away.

  7. Kellie
    April 27, 2011 7:23 am

    I’d love to be able to high dive like they do in the Olympics. I’ve only mastered the cannonball so far….

  8. Josh
    April 27, 2011 7:23 am

    Swimming…I’m oh so awkward at it.

  9. Tiffany
    April 27, 2011 7:37 am

    I have secretly always wished I could ballroom dance. However, I lack the grace, and that make me sad.

  10. Rightwing Nutjob
    April 27, 2011 7:49 am

    scale sheer walls

  11. Deb
    April 27, 2011 7:53 am

    I wish I could run, I lack any grace and coordination.

  12. Dan-O
    April 27, 2011 8:00 am

    I wish I could fly. Or teleport. But I’d settle for being able to summon carrot cake out of thin air ….

  13. Nick
    April 27, 2011 8:02 am

    Ice skating – huge disaster

  14. Mark
    April 27, 2011 8:11 am

    As much as I like hockey and wish I could play, I can’t ice skate to save myself from a charging polar bear.

  15. lovesthenorthside
    April 27, 2011 8:16 am

    i love to be able to sing well.

  16. lovesthenorthside
    April 27, 2011 8:17 am

    *doh* “i’d” i would also like to have better proofreading skills.

  17. Dave
    April 27, 2011 8:36 am

    I wish I could ride a bike like the pros. I ride around the city but I always feel like a doof when I have to try to save myself from falling or something.

  18. michelle
    April 27, 2011 8:43 am

    I wish I was able to do the arial stunts they do…if only wasn’t afraid of heights

  19. Jenny
    April 27, 2011 8:43 am

    I wish I could ice skate!

  20. Ben
    April 27, 2011 8:47 am

    Getting out of my car without groaning.

  21. Sue
    April 27, 2011 8:50 am

    I wish I could dance WELL! I can dance but not well and I am sure I scare away even the pigeons…..

  22. Donna
    April 27, 2011 8:57 am

    Lucky enough to see one of the shows they put on in Disney World. Simply amazing!

  23. GreenFreaK
    April 27, 2011 8:58 am

    I wish I could transform the ability of musicianship that’s in my fingers, to the dancingship that is not in my legs.

  24. Ghostie
    April 27, 2011 9:05 am

    I know the tickets will be awarded randomly but I’ll try for the sympathy vote anyway.

    I wish I could sprint – run – jog – even do a fast walk. I wish I could go up and down stairs with just a hint of grace. Ever since I shattered my ankle just moving normally has been my dream.

    Now here’s the real ‘poor, poor me’ part. I injured my ankle just days before I had tickets to see Cirque du Soleil when they were here last time. Needless to say I missed what I heard was a great show. So if the random gods see fit to pick my email as the winner that would be incredible!

  25. Deanna
    April 27, 2011 9:18 am

    As ridiculous as this may sound…I wish I could run without looking so completely ridiculous and awkward.

  26. red pen mama
    April 27, 2011 9:19 am

    If walking across the room without tripping over my own feet (or one of my children’s toys — or one of my children for that matter) doesn’t count as extraordinary, then I would like to be a gymnast on the uneven bars. That would be some cool shite.

  27. kayaker
    April 27, 2011 9:40 am

    I just want to keep up with the 3yr old. Now that takes phyisical Skills.


    The hoop dancer in this show is phenominal. search Nakota Larance on youtube. Nakota has been hoop dancing at 5 years old and winning competitions for years, he is also the sweetest most soft spoken humble kid I’ve ever met. I’ve seen him perform over the years at various shows. I’m glad to see him be part of Cirque. This performance alone will be well worth going to see.

  28. Katerz
    April 27, 2011 9:41 am

    I know a lot of people have said this already, but I wish I could figure skate. It’s been something I’ve thought about for a really long time, so this winter I decided to actually start ice skating on a regular basis. I taught myself how to skate backwards, and how to skate on one foot forwards and (sometimes) backwards (with the help of Youtube videos). In the fall I am planning on taking a group “beginner figure skating class”. My fear is that it’ll be me and a bunch of 5 year olds.

  29. Gina
    April 27, 2011 9:42 am

    I wish I could dance. I’m a terrible dancer. I only dance when everyone is drunk,so they don’t notice.

  30. Kathleen Cahalan
    April 27, 2011 9:44 am

    I wish I could do the butterfly stroke. Who made that up anyway? Crazy.

  31. Jenn
    April 27, 2011 9:45 am

    I would like to be a gymnast….like Mary Lou Retton gymnast…I can barely walk up the steps without tripping…but a girl can dream!

  32. Katy
    April 27, 2011 9:46 am

    I can produce milk! That’s my only superpower…but I wish I could do a back hand spring. I’ve always, always, always wanted to do a back hand spring.

  33. Natalie
    April 27, 2011 9:50 am

    I would love to get myself into some yoga poses that my sweet 2-year-old folds himself into as a matter of course while playing. How does he do that?!

  34. Nancy
    April 27, 2011 9:56 am

    I wish I could dance and not flail. ;)

  35. George
    April 27, 2011 10:01 am

    Wish I was graceful on ice skates

  36. JeanC
    April 27, 2011 10:02 am

    Swimming… other than the doggie paddle stroke. Lord help me if I ever have to swim to save my life.

  37. Alex
    April 27, 2011 10:04 am

    I simply wish I could do a cartwheel. Something about my inability to do one realllllly entertains my four year old niece.

  38. Legallypgh(Kathy)
    April 27, 2011 10:06 am

    surfing…but then I might wish I lived in California!

  39. lisa
    April 27, 2011 10:09 am

    How fun !!

  40. Jenn C
    April 27, 2011 10:14 am

    Oops, I just wrote “yay” before, but now I will tell you that I wish I could dance more gracefully!

  41. diane
    April 27, 2011 10:49 am

    Hula Hoop. I have trouble spinning 1. I saw a woman at a circus once who kept 100 of them going at once.

  42. Gabe
    April 27, 2011 10:52 am

    I wish I could walk down the street and not trip over my own feet.

  43. Julie
    April 27, 2011 10:55 am

    Oh man, I always wished I could rock the balance beam and other gymnastic events. This of course all stems from the 1996 Atlanta Olympics and Kerri Strug’s epic performance. As an impressionable 12 year old, I so badly wanted to be super short, muscular, and agile. Too bad I was tall and uncoordinated.

  44. Molly
    April 27, 2011 10:57 am

    I wish I was more graceful in general. You know…be able to walk up the steps without falling up them or walk down the street without tripping. :)

  45. Ali
    April 27, 2011 10:57 am

    I wish I could play the Guitar. I’ve tried many a times, but the end result is always the same.

  46. Leigh
    April 27, 2011 11:23 am

    I would love to be a gymnast. I was probably 7 or 8 when I took a class through the local community center and my Mom was told by the instructor I was not flexible enough and wouldn’t go far. End of gymnastics career! One memory I have is of fellow classmate Amy B. (to protect her identity!) peeing in her little pink leotard on the high bar as she attempted a move (some sort of somersault). That probably ended her gymanstics career also.

  47. Annie
    April 27, 2011 11:25 am

    I wish I was a ballet dancer…graceful, elegant and possessing the awesome ability to make a tutu look good.

  48. jeh
    April 27, 2011 11:26 am

    I wish I could juggle. I remember carefully reading my book on juggleing(?) as a kid and being disappointed as it looked as if I was playing hot potato instead. Riding a bike is a biggie too.

  49. RPC
    April 27, 2011 11:29 am

    I wish I could do a standing backflip without breaking my neck!