Who knew that in the city of Pittsburgh, you could be a skyscraper owner for less than two gs?!
First Commonwealth Bank was the lone bidder and acquired the 31-story Regional Enterprise Tower, Downtown, and two adjacent buildings for $1,708.46 at the Allegheny County sheriff’s sale today.
Are there some digits missing from that number?!
Less than two thousand dollars for the Regional Enterprise Tower? 31 floors of office space bought for less than the monthly lease for half of one single floor? (I’m estimating).
Seventeen hundred dollars for the fifteenth tallest building in the city as well as the HYP club next door.
A ten million dollar building for the cost to advertise the sherrif’s sale.
A HALF A PENNY PER SQUARE FOOT! (if my math is correct, and let’s be honest, it might not be)
I am stunned.
I should have bought it and turned it into my house.
The ground floor could become our restaurant and the HYP club our kitchen.
The 5th floor could be my son’s Lego floor.
The 6th floor my daughter’s Littlest Pet Shop floor.
The 8th floor my closet.
The 9th floor, shoes.
The 10th floor my Mommy’s Had a Bad Day Wine and Spa Floor.
The 12th floor my David Conrad Holding Area.
The 13th floor my “Pretend you’re Batman and this is your secret lair” area.
The 17th floor my embarrassing pictures filing rooms.
The 23rd floor my Zima production facility.
The 25th floor my pigeon war room.
The 27th floor my theater.
The 30th floor my bedroom.
The 31st floor my alternate David Conrad Holding Area.
Only problem is which would be the bigger bitch: property taxes, cleaning 350 toilets, or successfully monitoring all of David Conrad’s possible escape routes.
(h/t to Chris Briem of Nullspace on twitter)