Boom! goes the half-empty can of Aqua Net

I gotta stop bribing you guys because it keeps working. The Yinz Team Racing on behalf of the Mario Lemieux Foundation reached their goal, and you get a prize.

Here I am on my 18th birthday. May 30, 1992.  If the math of that makes me older than 36, please don’t tell me because I currently believe I am 36.

What the hell should we talk about first? There’s no safe place for the eye to rest.

My white shorts up to my boobs? My blue denim shirt up to my chin?

My hair that 1991 Jon Bon Jovi would look at and go, “A bit much, don’t you think?”

The longing look in my eyes for a graduation gift certificate for electrolysis?

Forget me and my 1992 LOLz and let’s talk about that KITCHEN.

Somewhere, Laura Ingalls Wilder is vomiting in her grave.

As you can see, my father wallpapered the lower half of the kitchen wall with strawberry-themed wallpaper, and then being the wallpapering trailblazer that he is, wallpapered the top half of the wall in a DIFFERENT STRAWBERRY-THEMED WALLPAPER.

But my mother and father didn’t stop there. They apparently hit up a yard sale in rural Arkansas to find just the perfect things to hang on the walls. I see various lacquered wood carvings. I think I see some kind of basket hanging on the wall on the right there. I see an ornate “God Bless This House” plaque. I see GIANT FABRIC QUILTED CAT WALL HANGINGS.

That top cat is all, “WTF is this place?” and that bottom cat is all, “I think this is Strawberry Shortcake’s stomach. Did she eat us?”

I’m proud to say that my mother and father have excellent taste in home decorating now.

While my taste in fashion, hair and makeup remains questionable at best.

Thanks for donating to sick kids! Group hug!





33 Comments

  1. John Franco
    May 3, 2011 1:17 pm

    Best. Kitchen. Ever.



  2. spoon
    May 3, 2011 1:20 pm

    you had troyus hair! No wonder you 2 have a soft spot for each other



  3. unsatisfied
    May 3, 2011 1:22 pm

    what boobs?



  4. Virginia
    May 3, 2011 1:23 pm

    LOL. You may have won, unsatisfied. Bravo!



  5. TheJim
    May 3, 2011 1:28 pm

    cake in the breakroom!



  6. Burghbird
    May 3, 2011 1:36 pm

    I see your denim shirt and raise you my fabulous plaid tie from the Gap. For about a week, I thought it would be cool to dress like a boy. It wasn’t.

    And I can guarandamtee ya those cat things on the wall were handmade with love as a “gift” from one of your mother’s “friends”….



  7. Ali
    May 3, 2011 1:37 pm

    The Strawberry Shortake line made me laugh so hard, a co-worker was all “I can tell you’re hard at work over there”. Good one Ginny.



  8. facie
    May 3, 2011 1:40 pm

    I have a denim shirt with a PSU logo on that I still wear. Until today, that is. Your picture has helped me to see the error of my ways. Thanks, Ginny!

    Btw, what is that thing to the left of the cake? An apple cookie jar?



  9. RJQ
    May 3, 2011 2:02 pm

    Are you me in 1992? Although I was 12, I rocked the same specs, hair bump, bermudas up to there, and instead of a jean shirt, a silk shirt.

    Love your hair, tho. I had to get perms to achieve that look.



  10. Cassie
    May 3, 2011 2:06 pm

    The dueling patterns of wallpaper. My brain. Can’t. Compute.



  11. Erin
    May 3, 2011 2:08 pm

    haaaaaaa….oh my, thank you. Your pic is cute but the kitchen has killed me.



  12. Erin
    May 3, 2011 2:10 pm

    “There’s no safe place for the eye to rest” – hee hee!!



  13. DisplacedFromPitt
    May 3, 2011 2:15 pm

    Looks like cake decorating is about all that hasn’t changed…Speaking of which – did you dress to match the icing?



  14. Moxie Bestos
    May 3, 2011 2:30 pm

    In 1992, you were totally fashionable! At least the Sally Jessy Raphael glasses are gone, right?



  15. RMendenhall
    May 3, 2011 2:32 pm

    Anyone with knowledege of virginity and that picture could say that these two parallel eachother.

    Going down on that cake is optional. It’s either going to be you, OR some other chick.

    Whenever you see a man and wonder “why hes with her”? it’s cause she wear clothes that you won’t.



  16. Me
    May 3, 2011 2:46 pm

    My mother had one of those quilted wall hangings that was a basket of strawberries. I bet she would have traded it to your mom for the cats.



  17. Scott
    May 3, 2011 3:27 pm

    Hirsute….in the best possible Amy Irving kind of way.

    Mrrroowrrrrr….



  18. Amber
    May 3, 2011 3:38 pm

    I graduated the same year as you. Had similar big hair, and REALLY bushy eyebrows. (Thank God my mother introduced me to waxing!) And the most scary similarity? My parents kitchen also has mismatched fruit wallpaper.



  19. Leenyburgh
    May 3, 2011 3:54 pm

    The poofy denim shirt was a requirement in 1992. If you were wearing black stirrup pants it really would have completed the look.



  20. bluzdude
    May 3, 2011 3:55 pm

    They gave you a graduation cake for your birthday?



  21. Josh
    May 3, 2011 3:56 pm

    This was laugh out loud funny : )



  22. Ginny's Dad
    May 3, 2011 6:03 pm

    Your mom buys the wallpaper and I just hang it. No questions asked. ….. I think the seam work looks very professional.



  23. Kathy
    May 3, 2011 6:19 pm

    poor Ginny’s dad… who knew your daughter would grow up to mock your decorating choices two decades later.



  24. Clementine
    May 3, 2011 6:38 pm

    Upper Cat: “Don’t make eye contact unless you want to be an appliqué on that shirt. She looks crafty.”

    Lower Cat: “I’ve rotated five degrees clockwise. When I get to 90 degrees, make your move. And use full claws; that hair may be impenetrable.”

    Upper Cat: “For God and country. Geronimo. Geronimo. Geronimo.”



  25. Woy
    May 3, 2011 6:51 pm

    Ginny’s Dad and Clementine WIN.

    Thanks Ginny so much for degrading yourself for the betterment of sick children! I promise I won’t die when I run.



  26. Woy
    May 3, 2011 6:52 pm

    Oh, and I think your fanny pack is next to your senior yearbook.



  27. Ginny's Cousin
    May 3, 2011 9:27 pm

    Ok…I cried when I read this… I remember the wallpaper… but I do not remember the cats!!! Your mom doesn’t even like cats, does she?! And WHY are you saying this is on your birthday but your holding a graduation cake? Did we have a combined celebration? (Were we even “allowed” to do that????)



  28. bucdaddy
    May 4, 2011 1:26 am

    This is where I’d usually insert some hilarious quip, or tell you how cute you are anyway, but … I have … no … words.



  29. Eric
    May 4, 2011 4:28 am

    All great people were born in May…



  30. AngryMongo
    May 4, 2011 7:34 am

    Demin shirts FTW.
    I believe I should have owned stock in the “Just Pants” store at Westmoreland Mall.

    I went one further during my Sr. year in 93. I had the black white button down shirt, paisley tie, jeans and black wingtip shoes. It was the beginning of the Alex Vanderpool era, after all.

    All that and I had the mullet of Richard Marx and the looks of Kevin Arnold, to boot.

    Get the mind bleach for that.



  31. Patricia
    May 4, 2011 10:02 am

    You look adorable in that picture – big hair, facial furriness and all. And thanks for making me laugh ’til I cried. I needed that.



  32. Scott
    May 4, 2011 10:08 am

    Eric, I briefly thought your comment said “All great people were born this way”



  33. Joe K.
    May 4, 2011 12:31 pm

    I miss big hair.