I only run from spiders, snakes, murderers, mice, clowns, howler monkeys, tidal waves, pigeons, boats, zombies, The Dread Lord and scientologists. This just in … I’m a wuss.
The point being, I don’t run. Like, I don’t put on running shoes and, you know, run for pleasure. In fact in my book (entitled I Have my Deepest Thoughts While Licking the Inside of the Nutella Jar), “running for pleasure” is the same as saying “lighting my hair on fire for pleasure.”
EXACTLY THE SAME.
My good friend Mike the Butler only runs marathons and that’s why he’s once again participating in a relay in this year’s Pittsburgh Marathon, along with Jim Lokay of KDKA, Jim Shireman of Sportsocracy, and a fun duo of hot chicks named Dudders and Adrienne. Or as I call them in my head, “Legs and The Ginge.”
Is that mean?
Anyway! They’re all hoping to not die during the race and to also raise money for the Mario Lemieux Foundation as they did last year.
If you have a few dollah dollah bills to share (how funny was Lester last night on Chuck making it rain coins in the limo? Brill.), please donate to their cause … FOR SICK KIDS!
They only need like $200 more to reach their goal of $1,000, so I literally do mean it only would take a few dollars on your part to help get them to $1,000.
Once they hit $1,000, I’ll share another embarrassing picture from my youth with you, okay?
Here’s a sneak preview of the MUSTACHE OF ROCKET SCIENCE AND ABJECT GIANT-HAIRED HOTNESS ON HER HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION DAY.
The best part is the way my mother used to have her kitchen decorated. Wait’ll you see it. The blind will weep.