“I only run marathons.” — Mike Woycheck

I only run from spiders, snakes, murderers, mice, clowns, howler monkeys, tidal waves, pigeons, boats, zombies, The Dread Lord and scientologists. This just in … I’m a wuss.

The point being, I don’t run. Like, I don’t put on running shoes and, you know, run for pleasure. In fact in my book (entitled I Have my Deepest Thoughts While Licking the Inside of the Nutella Jar), “running for pleasure” is the same as saying “lighting my hair on fire for pleasure.”

EXACTLY THE SAME.

My good friend Mike the Butler only runs marathons and that’s why he’s once again participating in a relay in this year’s Pittsburgh Marathon, along with Jim Lokay of KDKA, Jim Shireman of Sportsocracy, and a fun duo of hot chicks named Dudders and Adrienne. Or as I call them in my head, “Legs and The Ginge.”

Is that mean?

Anyway! They’re all hoping to not die during the race and to also raise money for the Mario Lemieux Foundation as they did last year.

If you have a few dollah dollah bills to share (how funny was Lester last night on Chuck making it rain coins in the limo? Brill.), please donate to their cause … FOR SICK KIDS!

They only need like $200 more to reach their goal of $1,000, so I literally do mean it only would take a few dollars on your part to help get them to $1,000.

Once they hit $1,000, I’ll share another embarrassing picture from my youth with you, okay?

Here’s a sneak preview of the MUSTACHE OF ROCKET SCIENCE AND ABJECT GIANT-HAIRED HOTNESS ON HER HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION DAY.

The best part is the way my mother used to have her kitchen decorated. Wait’ll you see it. The blind will weep.





15 Comments

  1. Cassie
    May 3, 2011 12:33 pm

    Good for them! Next year I plan on running for the Lemieux Foundation, just couldn’t get everyone on our relay team involved. Jerks. I’ll just call them expendable and move on.

    Mike sounds like my brother in law. He just decided on a whim to run this year’s marathon (which will be his fifth) and just started training last week. To which I say “WHATEVS. I’ll take my five mile leg of the race and do the best I can!”

    People who run marathons are my personal heroes.



  2. bucdaddy
    May 3, 2011 12:35 pm

    I’ve noticed you almost never see people smile while they’re running.

    Life’s too short, people.



  3. Virginia
    May 3, 2011 12:36 pm

    Amen.



  4. NewMan
    May 3, 2011 12:43 pm

    According to old math, I pushed it over $1K, WHERE’S
    the pic?



  5. TheJim
    May 3, 2011 1:04 pm

    Thank you, Ginny! I’m pretty excited because I called dibs on Mike’s post-race beer if he doesn’t make it!



  6. Lauren
    May 3, 2011 1:35 pm

    I was like Hines Wart during my first marathon. I smiled a big cheesy grin the whole time because I figured the panting alternative wouldn’t look cute in the pictures.

    I’ll look for Mike along the route as I’m running the full actual marathon and tell him to move faster : )



  7. Lauren
    May 3, 2011 1:35 pm

    Ward. Oops.



  8. Dudders aka Legs
    May 3, 2011 1:44 pm

    Because of your assistance we had to change our goal to $1,500! We are so thankful for all the donations!

    Maybe you could use your power of influence to convince the Jims and Mr. Woy to start posting photos of their own if we reach our new goal. I think most of us would enjoy embarrassing, I mean older, photos of the boys!



  9. hello haha narf
    May 3, 2011 2:56 pm

    you and michelle should have had another contest…i already donated via her site.
    xoxo



  10. Nipper
    May 3, 2011 3:15 pm

    Man up, Whoa-check, and run the whole thing.



  11. Butcher's Dog
    May 3, 2011 3:37 pm

    @bucdaddy with apologies to Lauren: anyone who smiles while running a marathon is missing something. Most likely a couple of screws. Did it once, never need to do it again.



  12. Lauren
    May 3, 2011 4:49 pm

    @Butcher’s Dog Fully aware that more than a few screws are loose : )



  13. Jim Lokay
    May 3, 2011 7:10 pm

    Thanks for the extra boost, Ginny — it’s much appreciated!



  14. rebelliousflaw
    May 3, 2011 8:39 pm

    Bet I could make you run if I told you there was some of my peanut butter icing at the end. And, I LOVE that you call the dynamic duo “Legs and The Ginge.”



  15. Dudders aka Legs
    May 4, 2011 11:33 am

    @rebelliousflaw I only run for beer and Dudders!