A Mendenhall post from My Happy Place

Sunshine!

Rainbows!

Cotton ball clouds!

Bunnies!

Nutella!

Puppies!

Strewn pigeon carcasses!

Welcome to My Happy Place: Where Pigeons Come to Die! Margaritas on the house in honor of Cinco de Mayo!

Have a seat over there on a smooth boulder by the Waterfall of Serenity and the Pool of Enhanced Calm, right next to all my self-united husbands (but step off!) and grab a baby bunny to hug and then listen up!

You there, get off of my unicorn and put down my baby koala bear.

And don’t nobody touch any of my Zima. Or my David Conrad.

Okay.

Let’s talk about the latest in the Rashard Mendenhall Sucks at Twitter saga.

Yesterday, after countless national media outlets picked up the story, almost every one of them focused on the Bin Laden tweets and nary a one mentioning the misogynistic tweets — WHOOPS! We don’t use words like mysoginistic in My Happy Place!

For penance, I’ll stare at Joe Manganiello’s bare abs for three minutes.

[three minutes pass]

Okay, punishment over! As I was saying, the media had a field day, some of the more right-biased of them calling Rashard a Bin Laden sympathizer, which, that’s going a bit far, I think.

In response to the uproar, Rashard deleted his tweet about his disbelief that an airplane could bring down a skyscraper.  He deleted his tweets about oral sex. Someone should explain to him that you can’t put toothpaste back into the tube once it’s out (h/t Sue Sylvester). It’s out. It’s out forever.

And then he promptly started a blog to explain himself and he quoted scripture AGAIN. Except he only explained his stance on celebrating Bin Laden’s death, which again, VALID.

Not that I’m a judge of what’s valid and what’s not when they come to opinions, but I can certainly opine on which opinions a Steeler should tweet on a verified Twitter account. That’s what I mean by “valid.”

Does that make sense? Drink a Zima. NOW does that make sense?

(I thought I told you not to touch my Zima. And you there making the eyes at Matt Lamanna? [awkward kung fun moves])

Like, you have an opinion that death shouldn’t be celebrated? Tweet it on your verified account as a Pittsburgh Steeler.

You have an opinion that perhaps the planes didn’t really bring down the towers and that makes it sound like those American soldiers in the Middle East that are Steelers fans are fighting a war on behalf of you and your freedoms for a bogus reason. DON’T TWEET IT.

You have an opinion that respect = oral sex. DON’T TWEET IT.

If there’s a chance that Rooney is going to personally call you and tell you to delete the tweet, DON’T TWEET IT.

Not because you don’t have the RIGHT, but because of the consequences of saying those things while you’re employed by the Steelers — Losing respect of some of your female fan base. Bad publicity for the team. Forcing Rooney to release a statement in support of the troops.

Rashard wrote an apology, which was the right thing to do:

I apologize for the timing as such a sensitive matter, but it was not meant to do harm. I apologize to anyone I unintentionally harmed with anything that I said, or any hurtful interpretation that was made and put in my name. It was only meant to encourage anyone reading it to think.

It worked. A lot of people now THINK he’s a douchebag.

WHOOPS!

Whose abs shall I stare at in penance for using the word douchebag in My Happy Place?

Daniel Sepulveda? Please rise.





15 Comments

  1. bucdaddy
    May 5, 2011 10:48 am

    BAM.



  2. Julie
    May 5, 2011 10:56 am

    Ooohhhh….Daniel Sepulveda’s abs…..



  3. Dana
    May 5, 2011 11:20 am

    That picture of Joe Manganiello just put me in MY happy place. Where I’m surrounded by waterfalls of tequila and everyone refers to me as “Her Royal Highness.”

    I would be fired if I tweeted stuff like that. Although I would probably have a boyfriend real quick if I shared that I equate oral sex to respect.



  4. Pghgirl
    May 5, 2011 11:31 am

    I say instead of lighting more fires for discussion about this idiot, we start promoting the awesome blog of the Steeler’s draft pick Baron Batch – http://baronbatch.blogspot.com/.

    He’s not related to Charlie but something about that last name connects to athletes that can speak properly, write responsibly & be articulate! Wow, what a concept!



  5. AngryMongo
    May 5, 2011 11:47 am

    The World Wide Web: Enabling Stupidity Since 1991.



  6. Butcher's Dog
    May 5, 2011 11:48 am

    The Happy Place is much easier to find on the morning after the Caps have been swept and the Flyers and Wings are in (hopefully) inescapable 3-0 holes. And the Bucs won, returning home one game under 500. And the strange bright light in the sky will undoubtedly be explained, breathlessly, on all local newscasts this evening. As usual, just sayin’.



  7. facie
    May 5, 2011 12:00 pm

    Right on, Ginnny!

    When I read his “apology” yesterday, I could still read/see his lovely tweets about oral sex (via clicking on his profile and then his web page from there; I don’t use twitter). Interesting that he has now removed them.

    I don’t consider it an apology because he did not really address the very things that offended people (other than sort of mentioning the hearing only one side part). But whatever. He is not the first athlete to say something stupid and most certainly won’t be the last.

    I miss Pens hockey. Sigh.



  8. Joe K.
    May 5, 2011 12:26 pm

    Rashard said he was encouraging people to think, and look at us here! We’re thinking and posting on the internet!

    How one should forgive enemies is actually an interesting theological topic. I’m eagerly awaiting Mendenhall’s master’s thesis on the issue.



  9. Not_from_Pittsburgh
    May 5, 2011 1:29 pm

    Maybe Rashard should do something to make up for what he said, like attend one of them NFL USO Tours to the middle east in support of our troops. People might forgive him if they see he isn’t secretly wearing a towel on his head and a dress.



  10. red pen mama
    May 5, 2011 1:33 pm

    Would you mind terribly if I went to your angry place to write a post about the problem I’m having that he apologized for sounding unpatriotic but not for sounding like a mysogynist prick?

    And then I’ll come back and gaze at Joe Manganiello abs. Okay? Thanks.



  11. red pen mama
    May 5, 2011 1:36 pm

    oops. “misogynistic”

    Are Tyler Grisham’s abs around here somewhere?



  12. Magnus Patris
    May 5, 2011 3:06 pm

    #5 AngryMongo Amen!



  13. Lisa
    May 5, 2011 4:09 pm

    Great blog– but, on to more important things, like where did that Daniel Sepulveda picture come from?

    I’m still holding my breath at the hotness.



  14. mairinpgh
    May 5, 2011 4:26 pm

    “Someone should explain to him that you can’t put toothpaste back into the tube once it’s out (h/t Sue Sylvester). It’s out. It’s out forever.”
    – Excellent glee reference, b.t.w. Very timely & meta!



  15. The Right Honorable Member for, The Very Reverend Mother Her Duchal Serene Highness, Dr. Hortense Sussudio Fuckerfaster said
    May 8, 2011 5:31 am

    To be fair, Rashard Mendenhall has a verified twitter account as Rashard Mendenhall, it exists separately of the Pittsburgh Steelers Sports inc. .
    You may only care that it exists, because of the Pittsburgh Steelers, but that is on you, not him. Part of the reason he has enough followers to bother getting verifed, may be because of interest in him such as yours, or his college career, and the carryover into the NFL, but that is not the same thing.

    I still find it ironic, that people are basically saying RM should watch his lip, because they will have his job. These are people who often are the same that objected to his defense of Adrian Peterson, who compared playing in the NFL to slavery.(h/t william rhoden, for the book that provides the underlying thesis for that statement, which gets left off most discussions)

    Perhaps I personally would be more willing to entertain complaints about his opinion on his own and no one elses preferences in romantic partners and sexual proclivities, if folks didn’t come across as so damned self-entitled, happy place or not.