Every single time I mention on twitter or on here that the Buccos of Suckitude are one win away from .500 ball, they lose.

The last time I wrote it Ronny Cedeno once again mangled a throw to first, which again started the tailspin and the crash and burn and just like that, bases loaded, Padres come from behind, Buccos lose. God. I hate that Ronny Cedeno and his apparent ability to throw the team into a death spiral with one bad play.

Bitter, party of one. I know.

Last night Ryan Doumit and his scary beady soul-dead eyes hit a freaking grand slam and the Buccos beat the Padres to bring themselves once again one win away from .500 ball.

They’ve won their fifth road series so far this season. Contrast that to the fact that they won FOUR road series ALL OF LAST YEAR, and you can see this is Big News.

BUT. It seems it will never happen if we keep talking about the POSSIBILITY of it happening.

So everyone needs to shut up.

The first rule of Pirates baseball is that we do not talk about Pirates baseball until they hit .500 ball.

No talking about it. No tweeting it. No blogging it. Zip it.

Got it?

This post never happened.

[jedi mind trick hand wave]


  1. bluzdude
    May 5, 2011 1:15 pm


    (This is not the Pirates Post you are looking for…)

  2. other Brian
    May 5, 2011 1:15 pm

    It’s not just you, the guy over at Sully Baseball writes something nice about them and they lose the next game. I’ve petitioned him to stop posting about them and he put up this post.

    I was going to the game Friday, but now I know they will lose.

    go bucs

  3. Virginia
    May 5, 2011 1:15 pm

    [ ]

    *** ****** ** *** ***** **!!

  4. BB
    May 5, 2011 1:29 pm

    SILENCE! I KILL YOU! Off to google videos of Achmed!

  5. bucdaddy
    May 5, 2011 1:32 pm

    We’ll see where we’re at when August gets here.

    Meantime, you’re right:


  6. Paul
    May 5, 2011 1:38 pm

    Until they’re like 20 games over .500, and there is only 1 game left in the season, I will not believe they are going to finish the season above .500. It’s safer that way for my sanity’s sake.

  7. burghbaby
    May 5, 2011 2:34 pm

    Well, every time I say they suck and all hope is lost, they go on some sort of weird winning streak. So… the Suckos suck and all hope of ever seeing .500 ball is lost.

    You’re welcome.

  8. Butcher's Dog
    May 5, 2011 2:59 pm

    When The Team Not to be Mentioned finishes the season in The Sport Not to be Mentioned, we’ll all have a big banquet. And there’ll be plenty of crow to go around. Haters and doubters can begin filling out those little order cards specifying how you’d like yours prepared.

  9. Magnus Patris
    May 5, 2011 3:12 pm

    If the Pirates only play on the road, they’ll be a Wild Card contender. Maybe we should paint over all the “P”s at PNC Park; drive them around in a bus blindfolded for 4 hours and tell them they are playing away. Half the people who go cheer for the other team anyway. Either than or we need Dr. Bill Stiles “with an I not a Y”.

  10. Dan (Not Onorato)
    May 5, 2011 4:15 pm

    What post?

  11. unsatisfied
    May 5, 2011 8:58 pm

    they’re still shitty.