Bringing sexy mullets back.

I have a new post up at PittsburghMagazine.com, this one about the recently revived possibility, however remote, that Jaromir Jagr might return to the Penguins, or at least the good graces of the Penguins and by extension, the city of Pittsburgh.

You recall, do you not, that time I cornered Jaromir behind the Civic Arena, got his autograph and we made out?

Okay, I made part of that sentence up. Guess which part.

A snippet:

When Jagr was playing in Pittsburgh, he was a child, really. A young man new to the country, new to the language, driving around town in his Trans Am with his luxurious, luxuriant, lustrous, silky smooth mullet flying in the wind—not to mention a gambling problem on his back.

Now, he’s a weathered, experienced, more mature hockey player. A 39-year-old man possibly finishing out his career in the Kontinental Hockey League, his team based in Siberia. No, really. Siberia. Where punchlines go to die.

Read on to learn how I managed to work “punching baby seals” into a post about Jaromir Jagr.

Skillz all up in the hizzy, fo’ sho’. [throws signs]

 





20 Comments

  1. Suz
    May 11, 2011 1:18 pm

    I’d welcome him back with open arms.



  2. bucdaddy
    May 11, 2011 1:54 pm

    At WVU we’re way ahead of you on the mullet front. This photo doesn’t do “head coach in waiting” Holgorsen’s freak flag justice, but it’ll have to do:

    http://www.msnsportsnet.com/staffDirectory.cfm?func=view&staffID=2248

    Oh, wait, you said sexy mullet. Never mind, then.



  3. Dan (Not Onorato)
    May 11, 2011 1:56 pm

    Sign him to a contract and let him fight for a roster spot in training camp.



  4. bluzdude
    May 11, 2011 1:59 pm

    Back in the 90s, I SO wanted to be Jagr. Was my favorite Pen, by far. I don’t like how he got booed over a misunderstood quote. He deserved better than that.

    (As for being a less-than-effective captain? That’s fair game.)



  5. Cassie
    May 11, 2011 2:02 pm

    Business up front, party in the back.



  6. Aileen
    May 11, 2011 2:46 pm

    My favorite Jaromir Jagr story has nothing to do with hockey. I was at a wedding at the Pittsburgh Athletic Club in Oakland in 1992 and he crashed the wedding reception.

    He could barely speak English, was dressed in jeans and had the famous mullet, but people surrounded him like stinkbugs. I have no idea who he was with or who brought him in – and no one bothered to ask.



  7. Ry Co 40
    May 11, 2011 2:48 pm

    love jagr!!! but… sign him on for a day, let him retire as a pen, retire his number, then close the book on his (nhl) career…



  8. Susie
    May 11, 2011 3:25 pm

    I love your blog!!



  9. Butcher's Dog
    May 11, 2011 3:30 pm

    Sexy Mullets would be a good band name. Just sayin’.



  10. Sooska
    May 11, 2011 3:35 pm

    I was one who thought the continuing boos were ridiculous. His effort during the playoffs was unmatched and JJ is still the 2nd best player the Pens ever had. The current crop has yet to prove their “best” although they are on their way. In any case, even with that ugly mullet, that has to be THE worst photo of Mario, Jr. in the world.



  11. tw
    May 11, 2011 9:32 pm

    Ginny here’s a Jagr story… my roommate had a crush on him so on his 21st birthday we went to the sports bar where he was making an appearance. Long story short, due to our extra package of camera film (yes, it was that long ago) for someone desperately in need we got to go into his private birthday room where about 20 or so people partied it up. Unforgettable. He only stayed in the room about 20 minutes after we got there but still unbelievable. We got pix and everything with a great story to tell the folks when we got back home. And too cute, but he was wearing his tie around his head in the pix that we got. If I find the picture I’ll have to send you a copy. :)



  12. bucdaddy
    May 12, 2011 1:33 am

    Sooska,

    I’m trying to follow. You mean:

    1, Lemieux
    2, Jagr
    3, Crosby

    Or …

    1, Crosby
    2, Jagr
    3, Lemieux

    Seriously?

    Where does Pierre Larouche fall on your scale?



  13. bucdaddy
    May 12, 2011 10:55 am

    Cassie @5,

    But is it really Business up Front on Jagr up there? That looks like “’80s hair band in the front and … ’80s hair band in the back.” He just needs a microphone and a red headband and he’s singing for Loverboy.



  14. Lee
    May 12, 2011 12:41 pm

    bucdaddy, took the words out of my mouth. Jagr is not #2 overall. That’s crazy.
    It’s also crazy to bring him back.
    Please, Pens, Please don’t bring him back here. Please. Let him come home, play nice in the golf tourney, get back into the good graces of the teams and fans and then retire his number. And retire this conversation.



  15. NAM
    May 12, 2011 2:48 pm

    Sorry, but I have to agree with Lee. While I would not boo him, because he certainly did his part for the team while he was here, I wouldn’t be anxious to see him back.
    Certainly welcome him with open arms to the alumni events, but I hope the Pens focus more on resigning some of the current players, and working with the “new crop” in Wilkes Barre.



  16. Lee
    May 12, 2011 3:13 pm

    Exactly. We can’t keep bringing back almost 40-year-old players from our 90s teams and continue to be ‘shocked’ when they play like they’re 40.
    We have other concerns to handle this offseason.
    Also, it must be said that he can retire as a Penguin without us having to pay him to play. Barrasso anyone?



  17. Anon
    May 12, 2011 3:20 pm

    True story – in the very early 90’s I worked at Sarris’s. Jagr dated (briefly, I think) the very-traitional owners’ daughter. When Jags came to pick her up one night, Frank (RIP) the owner offered him 20 bucks to go get a haircut first! (And if you’d ever met Frank, you’d know this is *just* like him!)



  18. bucdaddy
    May 13, 2011 1:42 am

    Jagr came all the way to Canonsburg for some tail?

    Vastly overpriced Sarris is somehow a tourist mecca. The senior citizens down here run bus trips there, swear to chocolate-covered pretzels.



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