Random n’at

1. Today’s posting will likely just be this Random n’at, because I’ll be spending this hazy, hot, and humid day at Kennywood trying to ward off heat stroke and the resulting hallucinations. “Do my eyes deceive me or is that a 13-year-old girl wearing a bra top, tiny shorts and four-inch high sandals?”

Seriously, you guys, who lets their kids leave the house like that?

2. News quote of the year so far, right here:

“I could’ve died yesterday when it was on the news,” she said.” Unless he’s grunting and texting on the front porch, how can you know?”

The things people will say to the media.

3. Let’s see, a few weeks ago there was the Franklin middle-schoolers who put pins and needles (ACTUAL pins and needles) in their classmates’ cupcakes. Then there was the kindergartner who gave out bags of heroin to his classmates. Now there are the two Ambridge students who beat the snot out of a younger student, injuring him badly, recorded it, and put it on YouTube.

At what point is moving to farm country in the middle of Podunk, USA and homeschooling my kids not an overreaction to this bullshit?

4. Pittsburgh is the 13th most well-read city in the nation, according to Amazon.com.

Smarts. We haz ’em.

(h/t Amy)

5. If you’re a meter parker in the City of Pittsburgh, better start saving your dollah dollah coins!

It’s about to get pricier come June 1, thanks to our faltering pension.

In the city’s downtown, meter prices will rise to $3 an hour, up from $2.In the South Side, Strip District and Oakland, the hourly rate will double to $1.

What might be a bigger change for some people is the fact that meters will now stay active until 10 p.m.  Current enforcement stops at 6 p.m.

Dear City Council, I am not liking that new 10:00 p.m. thing at all because it is seriously going to hurt downtown eateries who use the after 6:00 p.m. free meters as a lure to get diners to visit for the dinner hour, which is already slower than the suburbs and the South Side.

This is going to make things even harder for us downtown restaurant owners, thankyouverymuch.

Way to be dedicated to a vibrant downtown after working hours.

And now, here’s a frowny face.  :(

6. Dear residents, this is just one of the many reasons why you shouldn’t open a fire hydrant. Buy a hose.

Love, me.

7. All kinds of celeb news sites covered the fact that Emma Watson wore a pink sports bra to work-out in Pittsburgh. But the one you want to read is The Superficial’s account because they somehow managed to work “Ben Roethlisberger” and “rape mask” into theirs.

It will never end. Ever.

8.  Dear God, has EVERYONE GONE MAD!?

Police in Westmoreland County are looking for the driver of a Prius who attacked a motorcycle driver with a metal pipe while he was driving down the road.

There goes my belief that only tree-hugging peace-lovers drive Priuses.  Apparently angry assholes do too.

It’s not enough the he ran the motorcycle off of the road; it takes a special kind of angry to whip out a metal pipe and start beating the rider too.

9. Troysus went to the Indy 500 and well, let’s just look at his beautiful face and enhance our calms:

That’s the face of calm. The face of peace. The face of a man who will never whip out a metal pipe and beat you about the head with it.


  1. PittinDC
    May 31, 2011 11:17 am

    If it makes you feel any better, in DC, they also upped the amount and the time to 10 pm on the parking meters – though we pay even more than $3 an hour – and it certainly hasn’t changed how I go out in the city at night. People around here complained, but they learned to adapt. I will say that putting credit card readers on all of the meters has been helpful, because carrying around 80,000 quarters is just a pain.

  2. Magnus Patris
    May 31, 2011 11:44 am

    When I was a kid, Ambridge was a nice little town. Now it has turned into a huge sh!thole. It’s a shame. Even the one thing they had going for them, Nationality Days, which used to feature churches and organizations selling food and crafts in a family friendly atmosphere, has now turned in to a flea market with a bunch of foul-mouthed kids like the ones in the video M-Fing each other so that you can’t even walk down the street with your kids or parents without being embarrassed. Sad.

  3. Suz
    May 31, 2011 11:51 am

    Please report back, in detail, everything that you had to eat at Kennywood today. Oh, and stay hydrated!

  4. Megan
    May 31, 2011 12:01 pm

    Having lived in FL for 11yrs, and still visiting folks, I find it very hard to believe that Miami, Gainesville and Orlando beat Pittsburgh in the well-read category.

    Thanks for the Troy pics!

  5. MattDC
    May 31, 2011 12:08 pm

    #8 Westmoreland Prius – “Police said they are looking for a silver Toyota Prius with a black right front fender and Ohio registration.” Either Jim Traficant is back as the angry environmentalist, or Dennis Kucinich is kicking off the 2012 campaign with his “No more Mr. Nice Guy” approach.

  6. Rege
    May 31, 2011 12:18 pm

    Parking enforcement until 10PM? Sheesh. Must be a elaborate plan to catch the white whale of Pittsburgh…..

  7. tw
    May 31, 2011 12:30 pm

    Please, please eat one corn dog, some potato patch fries w/cheese and a funnel cake for me! Oh how I miss the ‘burgh. :(

  8. bucdaddy
    May 31, 2011 12:39 pm


    I would only ever need three words:

    Potato. Patch. Fries.

    There’s anough calories there for two days at Kennywood, except I’d have to eat them again the second day.

  9. jdp
    May 31, 2011 1:07 pm

    Franklin resident looking for a home in podunk(er) but thinking cybercharter school

  10. Cassie
    May 31, 2011 1:18 pm

    My daughter dresses herself. If it’s not her Crosby tee, it’s her over-sized Goat Races shirt and olive drab cotton shorts.

    She also wears green knee high socks and pink sneakers.

    She’s the exact opposite of what’s up in fashion, but at least she’s not a hoochie mama.

  11. Gina
    May 31, 2011 1:23 pm

    I am disappointed in the BeaverCountian website for posting that video. It;s bad enough that the idiot kids recorded it, but I think it’s irresponsible for them to post it. Putting it out there for people to see is giving those little assholes what they want.

  12. Suburban Nor'Side Girl
    May 31, 2011 2:26 pm

    The interwebz give us many good things – like your blog :-), checking the radar for thunder storms w/o having to wait for Julie Jumbo, pics of Troysus – to name just a few. Unfortunately, it also gives psychopaths a place to display their psychosis. Wouldn’t it be great if metal pipe guy met up with the Ambridge kids. . .

  13. Shibori
    May 31, 2011 2:35 pm

    I know a friend who drives a company truck for a local gas drilling company that had a group of hipsters in a Prius intentionally try to run him off the road on I-79. Luckily in the battle of giant pickup truck vs. hipsters in Priuses, the pickup truck will usually win.

  14. unsatisfied
    May 31, 2011 3:46 pm

    @#5 mattindc — traficant’s toupee/dead animal on top of his head would not allow him to fit into a prius.

    so, I doubt it’s him.

  15. MattDC
    May 31, 2011 4:15 pm

    @Megan — Agreed. Might have been a rankings mix up between “well-read” and “well-fed”.

  16. stellabella
    May 31, 2011 4:30 pm

    “At what point is moving to farm country in the middle of Podunk, USA and homeschooling my kids not an overreaction to this bullshit?”

    Did it four years ago and haven’t looked back. Ok, not Podunk, Pa…but Northern Allegheny Co on some acreage. Yep, I could send my kids to NA, but I don’t. We’ve done cyberschool and now homeschooling.

  17. Ginny's Dad
    May 31, 2011 11:18 pm

    Seems to me that increasing the enforcement time from 6pm to 10pm will not affect revenues appreciably because they will be offset by the extra costs incurred by hiring more enforcers or paying overtime.

  18. Jesse
    June 1, 2011 12:29 am

    I was just thinking the exact same as Ginny’s Dad – that half of the surplus revenue they will make from this silly increase in parking rates will be used up for some worthless metermaids. (Think about it.. they have to pay their salary (probably some overtime if they’re going til 10PM), they have to pay for the sexy car they cruise around in, and they have to pay for gas and maintenance of that car.)

    It’s a typical democrat’s answer to a financial problem. The solution is never to cut costs, but always to raise revenue. Got news for you all… the governments revenue comes directly out of your pocket. Every time. They can disguise it however they like, but when it comes down to it, the little guy always pays more.

    If the people that ran government would go to a few business classes, they might begin to realize that everybody else in the world who wants to make money, has to account for supply and demand and can’t just make up newfangled ways to generate income. Reference: Chrysler and GM (shoulda gone under, if not for our socialist government).

    And who’s paying for GM to stay afloat? You and me, sir!

    Obama’s bailout of the Detroit is just a large scale bailout of Pittsburgh’s overpriced city pensions.

  19. Butcher's Dog
    June 1, 2011 7:53 am

    @#1: Who lets their kids leave the house like that? Well, check back with us in 10 years or so, give or take a year, and let us know how successful you were in stopping your daughter from leaving like that if she takes her mind to do so. Or, alternatively, stop her from stripping down to look like that the instant she got out of your sight. Just sayin’.

    @Jesse: “…account for supply and demand and can’t just make up newfangled ways to generate income….” You mean like Wall Street speculators who kick the shit out of the price of oil with “futures” stuff when, according to most reports, demand is constant and supply abundant? Newfangled ways like that?

    By some accounts the kid doing the beating in the video (making and posting of such should be a crime; you can’t yell “Fire!” in a crowded theatre, and posting this stuff only encourages it more) is going into the juvie justice system. That means he may soon be introduced to several who will ‘splain to him in terms he can understand what getting your ass kicked really means. The sooner the better.

  20. bucdaddy
    June 1, 2011 9:18 am

    All this craziness and none of it in Fayette County. For a change.

    I guess if you live long enough, there has to be ONE day like that.

  21. spoon
    June 1, 2011 9:21 am

    Active until 10pm? As if anyone stays downtown past 6.

  22. Donncha
    June 1, 2011 2:40 pm

    I give up. Why doesn’t the city just announce plans to tase anyone entering Downtown between 6 and 10 p.m.? If you want to empty your town, do it directly.

  23. Burgh Bird
    June 2, 2011 12:30 am

    Don’t the extra 4 hours of pay for meter readers invalidate any of the benefits of collecting till 10?

    And yes, the world has gone mad. Apparently, every driver in Western PA has lost the ability to use their brakes before plowing into houses, buildings, and people.

  24. kejad
    June 2, 2011 2:03 pm

    Really? When downtown is virtually empty in the evenings, demand for parking is way down, and you’re going to raise prices from $0 to $3? Does anyone in this city understand the basics of supply and demand? DC can get away with it because DC is busy from 6 a.m. until midnight.

    The real advantage of connected electronic meters with card readers is that they enable the city to do something closer to real-time pricing. No parking on a Saturday because of downtown events? $10/hr! Loads of empty spaces on summer afternoons? $1/hr! Sticking with coin-fed meters and antiquated pricing practices keeps Pittsburgh right where it’s always been: about a decade or two behind more forward-thinking cities.

  25. Julia
    June 2, 2011 4:23 pm

    Last night, my boyfriend and I went to South Side Works for dinner and a movie, and didn’t arrive until 6 pm. Not knowing meter enforcement would now be until 10 pm (I checked news stories, it wasn’t made public until the day before), we didn’t feed the meter and went on our way. Got back to the car at 10 pm, and there was a $20 ticket stuck to the windshield. So, looked up the P-G article in which Authority ED David Onorato said that “enforcement will be light” early on, and that meters wouldn’t even be equipped to handle the extra change now required for at least 10 days. Plus, the sign on the street still said parking was enforced only until 6 pm. I’m appealing the ticket at Pgh Parking Court at the end of June. It’s bullshit. I’d be curious how much overtime they’re paying in these first few weeks targeting people who are at meters past 6 pm? And I wonder what their projections are for revenue from violations. Oh, they’ll make money off this little venture of theirs, but it won’t be from a simple increase in enforcement hours or money needed to feed the meter. It’ll be from fines and penalties, and believe you me, they’ll be out in force after 6 pm now because we’re all easy targets. Bunch of a-holes if you ask me.

  26. MadMax
    June 2, 2011 5:19 pm


    Heads up! Pgh Parking Court? Ever see documentaries of Nazi trials??

    1) They are DESIGNED to be soo fucked you don’t fight, and just pay the ticket.

    2)The hours are only weekdays, daytime on 4th Ave, so you A) Miss work B) pay expensive DOWNTOWN parking when you FIRST appear!!

    3) EVERONE LOSES at the first appearance! They have senile, former magistrates who will tell your 80 year-old grandmother she’s guilty (when she isn’t) and you have to APPEAL!

    4) Another trip downtown, on weekday, pay parking, miss work…[getting the picture yet?]
    and you get a slightly younger (55-65) local political hack, and if you indeed have a good case, threaten to call KDKA, WPXI, Andy Sheehan, Jane Pitt, you MIGHT, I repaeat MIGHT get your wrongful in the first place ticket dismissed!

    Good f’ing luck!!