We need all our everything.

By reaching .500 ball last night on an Andrew McCutchen walk-off home run in the 12th inning (video here), the Pirates now have to go back six years to find the last time that happened this late in the season.

That’s not that long a time.

However — and please read that however like this: HOW.EVER!!!!!!!!!

This from MLB’s Jenifer Langosch:

If the Buccos win today, that’s the latest they’ve been OVER .500 ball since last century. Last millennium.

They win today; they’ve broken the curse. That’s how I’m looking at it, shut up thank you very much let me have this the bongo drums in my head are driving me so insane I’m considering puncturing my own ear drum. Today is important. We need everything we can to get this win.

We need prayer and fasting and juju and voodoo and balls on sticks and a double double toil and trouble brew of every gross thing you can find. If I may, start with cloacas.

We need to whip a million good Karma Boomerangs out there and pray that at least one of them returns to us with a Pirates win on its back.

We need to rub the Clemente Wall for luck and beseech the ghost of Robert Clemente, who once helped pull the Pirates out of years of humiliation.

Drape ourselves in the Jolly Roger. High-five the Pirate Parrot. Kick Steely McBeam in the nuts.

Any given year, a MLB team takes on the Pirates and they’re most likely all, “We’re playing the Pirates today. LOL. Let’s give ’em a pity run.”

This year, it’s probably more, “We’re playing the Pirates today. So … yeah. Let’s do this.”

We get this win and it will be, “We’re playing the Pirates today. The magnitude of their suck has been greatly diminished. Play to win.”

That’s how I’m looking at it. Yeah, it’s not playoff ball. Yeah, we’re getting this excited about simply being COMPETITIVE. But there’s a line where the suck ends and the not sucking begins and I’m saying that line is going to be crossed tonight. One win.

My bandwagon is filled to the top with drunk and raucous wenches and yinzers who may soon be able to take the rose-colored glasses off to find that the world of Pirates baseball is suddenly rose-colored all by itself.

Get on while there’s still room. I promise not to drink and drive, but it’s a horse-drawn wagon, so really, the worst I could do is damage a mailbox. I’ll aim for Lukey’s.

Let’s go, Bucs!

P.S. Bonus video of McCutchen being creamed following yesterday’s win:

YouTube Preview Image

 





29 Comments

  1. John Franco
    June 9, 2011 11:29 am

    It shouldn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. In all honesty, this year barely matters to the development of the Pirates we expect to contend in 2012-2015. Sure, it’s good for the players on the team to get a taste of winning and experience meaningful baseball. But at this point it’s still 90% about player development and 10% about winning. Does it really matter if the Pirates end their sub-.500 season streak at 18 or 19?

    We all know this to be true, but when you’re in the middle of it, you can’t help ignoring rationality and rooting for this team to WIN, dammit. It’s fun. It’s exciting. People are paying attention again.

    So maybe in the end, it DOES matter, because it’s getting people on Ginny’s bandwagon a year earlier than expected. That may not matter if Alvarez never learns to be a 30+ HR guy or McCutchen doesn’t sign a long-term contract, but it can’t hurt.



  2. Krissy
    June 9, 2011 12:08 pm

    It’s fun, darn it! But I like to imagine after a game like last nights that the other team is sitting in the locker room stunned wondering how on earth did we lose an extra innings game to the Pittsburgh Pirates? (Emphasis on the Pittsburgh Pirates) Especially after what happened in the 10th inning, too. It’s fun and I don’t care if they win the pennant. Seeing winning baseball is enough this year! (emphasis on winning and this) I’m so glad I forked over the cash to be able to listen on my phone at work.



  3. Paul
    June 9, 2011 12:13 pm

    Gotta pace ourselves though. I was thinking this last night. There is still 103 games left to play. Maybe they could win tonight and then baseball could go on strike for the rest of the season. Then, streak over!



  4. Beatrice
    June 9, 2011 12:18 pm

    Great post!



  5. Joe K.
    June 9, 2011 12:22 pm

    Winning is always more fun than not winning.

    THIS COULD BE THE YEAR!



  6. unsatisfied
    June 9, 2011 12:22 pm

    they’re still shitty.



  7. Cassie
    June 9, 2011 12:30 pm

    It’s times like these I finally don’t feel ashamed to be a Buccos fan. My family in Minnesota make fun of me often and send my kids Twins gear with a note saying, “Let the kids learn what a winning team looks like.”

    Ouch.



  8. Paul
    June 9, 2011 12:44 pm

    #6 – tell me that’s a Major League quote.



  9. Dan (Not Onorato)
    June 9, 2011 1:42 pm

    @ Paul….yes…anytime Ginny talks Pirate baseball…you can count on that from unsatisfied



  10. bucdaddy
    June 9, 2011 1:56 pm

    “My bandwagon is filled to the top with drunk and raucous wenches and yinzers who may soon be able to take the rose-colored glasses off to find that the world of Pirates baseball is suddenly rose-colored all by itself.”

    As one who has been supporting the team through good times and (mostly) bad for 45 years, I have very mixed feelings about this.

    So I’d like to ask longtime Penguins fans who go to lots of games: Besides being considerably larger, of course, is the fan base in the arena these days considerably different from the fan base when the team was terrible not that long ago? What’s the Bandwagon Effect been like there?

    Figure that’ll give me some idea of what I have to look forward to at PNC in a year or two.



  11. Arlette
    June 9, 2011 2:05 pm

    Just moved here last year from Cubs territory, so I’m used to heartbreak. It’s fun to see this team turn around!



  12. JennyMoon
    June 9, 2011 2:11 pm

    Let’s Go Bucs!!!



  13. Paul
    June 9, 2011 2:21 pm

    Thanks @Dan (not Onorato). In my defense, I don’t pay a lot of attention to the comments here.



  14. empirechick
    June 9, 2011 2:40 pm

    @bucdaddy – in my opinion, the true ‘base’ is not much different, except that the rest of the seats are now filled by wanna-bes. Being a Pens fan is the hip thing now, so there’s lots of obnoxious drunk and trampy 20-somethings and their too-cool boyfriends who don’t really care about hockey and feel the need to text constantly while making a ridiculous number of bathroom/beer runs when the play is going on. At least that’s what I see around my seats. The move to Consol has made that much worse – I can’t wait until the novelty of the new building wears off.



  15. Dan (Not Onorato)
    June 9, 2011 3:12 pm

    I agree with empirechick…its a hip thing to do in this town right now…add a new building and the “interest” in the team increases.

    I admit, I jumped on the bandwagon around ’91 but Ive been on ever since. I remember seeing Fleury as a rookie getting shelled with what seemed like 100 shots at home in front of 4,000 people.



  16. Dan (Not Onorato)
    June 9, 2011 3:15 pm

    oops hit send too early….

    In my opinion, Pitsburgh isnt necessarily a “hockey town” but I think its a “hockey town for the time being”

    People will goto a competitive team. And if the Pirates are close to .500 at the end of the season I think it will be great to watch and goto games



  17. Butcher's Dog
    June 9, 2011 3:25 pm

    When @unsatisfied makes his knee-jerk comment to anything posted about the Bucs, that’s what makes me think he’s really bojack on meds. Sometimes on meds.

    And now, unsatisfied, please define “shitty” for us as it pertains to the Bucs. Because what I see is better pitching, better defense, more passion from the manager on down, a coaching staff that (among other things) turned last-year’s 2-10 Charlie Morton into this-year’s 6-2 (to date) version, and the penchant for late-game productivity. That last factor alone shows they’re not complacent. Andrew and Cedeno cadillac it once and the next day they’re pined. There’s accountability there that hasn’t existed since Jim Leyland ripped Barry Bonds a new asshole. It’s one thing to toss remarks out there, but I think it’s time to back it up or stick it. Just sayin’.

    @bucdaddy: right now Consol is peopled by one of two groups…season ticket holders (or people friends with such) and student rush ticket buyers. There aren’t any 5 or 10 game plans; you’re pretty much all in or you’re watching on TV. I don’t see the Bucs fanbase getting that rabid that every game gets sold out. But what I’m seeing on TV is a lot more kids, mostly high school and younger, and less Pens/Steelers black and gold stuff and more Pirates gear. I think that shows that the fan base is growing and getting a bit more committed. True, the Bucs are giving away a ton of those shirts being worn, but some of them cost some money. That’s one thing about the crowd at a Pens game; they’re sporting a metric shitload of expensive shirts.

    By the way, send a couple of those drunk and raucous wenches Mercer County way. We need the influx of energy.



  18. Magnus Patris
    June 9, 2011 3:29 pm

    Took Primoris Filius to the game last night for his “graduation from 2nd grade” treat. Highlights of the game:

    #3 1 hitter from Maholm
    #2 McCutchen’s walk off homer
    #1 Baseball autographed by KDKA’s Bob Pompiani.

    Hey, there were no Pirates on the field and the kid wanted something. Seriously it was a great game and the kid has a renewed faith in baseball.



  19. pghfaninphx
    June 9, 2011 3:37 pm

    Since I finally got to see two entire Pirates games (from the ‘Burgh, now living in Phoenix), it’s been great to see them win. Love to also see the fans wearing Pirates gear, staying in their seats into the 12th inning and jumping up and down at the game-winning homerun. It’s also great to see that gorgeous baseball stadium, as here they have an aircraft hanger with billboards and A/C. I saw a lot of sweat on those Diamondback players – they’re not used to real weather!



  20. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    June 9, 2011 4:31 pm

    @bucdaddy — While I’m loathe to use Philadelphia as an example for anything sports-related, the Phillies are a good example of going through a pretty decent bad spell and now being consistently successful with a good number of “bandwagon” fans. I did toss this out to a couple of friends who have been Phillies fans since childhood and are long-time season ticket holders for the Phils. They are also Cryers season ticketholders. Their comments were that there are more “douchey drunks” and “unbearable” bandwagon fans at the Cryers games and they miss the old days for hockey, but with the Phillies that “douchey drunk” segment is much smaller and it really hasn’t changed the overall atmosphere too much other than longer lines and a learning curve with trying to remind the bandwagon fans to wait until there’s a stoppage in play before getting up to go to the concession stand or come back to the seats.

    This is one of my major pet peeves at PNC Park. People getting up in the middle of an at bat. The announcement the Bucs make at the beginning of every game is a joke, especially since the ushers continue to sit fans with absolutely no regard to what is going on down on the field. In Seattle, the ushers actually stand at the top of each row with little signs saying “Please wait here until there is a stop in play. Thank you.” At hockey games you’re asked to wait. Drives me nuts. {I know there are emergencies with small children from time to time, but I’m talking about the adults here.)



  21. PittsburghSmith
    June 9, 2011 4:35 pm

    I did drape myself in the Jolly Roger after they beat the Phillies last Saturday. I just HAD to rub it in to all the fans in red!



  22. unsatisfied
    June 9, 2011 4:52 pm

    1) @paul — you, sir, are correct.

    2) @dan — I aim to please.

    3) @b-dawg — see the 1st 2 items. then, calm down, be less serious and check this out: http://youtu.be/CuWQfMGjZF4

    as far as the succos are concerned, I will be as happy as those asian groundskeepers at the end of “major league” when they finally win the pennant.

    passion doesn’t win titles — talent and good managing do.

    getting over .500 should not be the target. ev. er. just ask the yankees, red sox, and, hell, even the cleveland indians.

    time to go take my meds…thanks for the reminder. where’s the tylenol?



  23. Bram R
    June 9, 2011 5:13 pm

    I don’t remember being very excited about baseball in 1999.

    But it’s like, yeah, okay, I’ll start trying my best to get back into that early 90’s mindframe about the Bucs. If not now, when?? Tell me, who bats cleanup these days, this young Master McCutchen?



  24. Jaime
    June 9, 2011 6:36 pm

    Since we all know Ginny’s track record, looks like history won’t be made tonight :)

    But, after watching the game last night, I have to admit that I am actually excited to watching the Buccos this season. The tortoise wins the race. Too bad our race is 20+ years long. LOL!



  25. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    June 9, 2011 6:49 pm

    @Bram — Neil Walker has been the clean-up batter, with McCutchen hitting third, except for Tuesday because Walker was given the night off.



  26. Bram R
    June 9, 2011 8:00 pm

    Thanks. And who’s the closer, this Joel Hanrahan? What’s his theme song is what I want to know? The one thing I was kind of fond of last year, the game that I went to, was the Octavio Dotel lights and sirens.



  27. Sam's Dog
    June 9, 2011 11:23 pm

    @ Dan(not Onorato), SRSLY? Pittsburgh not a hockey town? Having had a partial season ticket plan the year they played poorly enough to draft Mario, and a full season ticket holder for several years after that including both early cup years I have to disagree. The Pens have always had a loyal fan base and the electricity in the building from those long suffering fans in’91 was something you could literally feel. Yeah, there will always be a bandwagon, but I think you are off base here.



  28. Bulldog
    June 10, 2011 8:46 am

    Well I guess the outcome of Thursday’s game was pre-ordained by this posting. I was hoping the streak would have been broken though.

    Please, please, please Ginny, do not write another post about them until they are at least a couple of games OVER .500 ball. :-)