Random n’at

1. “A spoonful of Nutella helps the Nutella go down,” will be the fifth chapter in my forthcoming book I Have My Deepest Thoughts While Licking the Inside of the Nutella Jar.

Pre-order now at all the fake book webstores!

2. Someone needs to tell these people that there is another choice between kill or keep. It’s not often that I read an article that makes me choke down bile. This one did it.

God bless all you parents out there trying to conceive.

3. The Wall Street Journal brands Pittsburgh as the Steal City and it’s not because we’re a city of thieves!

Pittsburgh, once written off as a dying steel town, has turned into one of the most resilient office-rental markets in the U.S., prompting a flurry of building sales as some longtime owners take profits.

It’s a good look at the good and bad in Pittsburgh right now, and as always, I find that the good in Pittsburgh always outweighs the bad.

4. I have been asked not to write about Those Who We Shall Not Discuss until they are above … you know, now that they’re once again at … you know … the first time they’ve been there this late in the season since 1999. 12 years.

Apparently some of you think I’m a curse.

Kiss my grits, n’at, but I shall test out your theory and shut up until … you know.

Can I at least just warn you that space on my bandwagon is filling up fast? I only have room for like two more saucy wenches and three more drunk yinzers.

Also, can I just point out that Ronny Cedeno isn’t sucking too hard anymore? And that our new catcher isn’t too hard on the eyes?

Let’s go, … you know!

5. Things I tried at McDonalds!

Rolo McFlurry: Meh.

Frozen Strawberry Lemonade: Meh.

Sad panda. Happy cottage cheese butt.

6. I saw a sign that Englebert Humperdinck would be performing in Greensburg and I was all, “You mean like from The Princess Bride?!”

7. The Pirates Charities are raising money for Prader-Willi Syndrome, the disease Clint Hurdle’s young daughter suffers. Pledge per wins and if you pledge enough, receive autographed gifts by players and/or coaches.

(h/t Natalie)

8. The New Kids on the Block and the Backstreet Boys are in town for their concert and one Jonathan Knight is certainly enjoying himself:

Don’t ask me to explain the Pitt vs. Burgh line. I think he’s on drugs or something.  Or really really stupid.

I fully expect his next tweet to be, “Crazy tall skinny chick chasing me down on foot. Send help.”

(h/t @lisamh77)

9. The Golden Ticket Raffle benefiting Junior Achievement is back and woo-wee. Lookit the prize:

* full season of Pittsburgh Steelers games (if there is a season)
* full season of Pittsburgh Penguins games
* full season of Pitt Panthers Football games
* full season of Pitt Panthers Men’s Basketball games
* full season of Duquesne Men’s Basketball games
* full season of Penn State Football home games (4 tickets)
* tickets to the 2nd and 3rd round NCAA Division I 2012 Men’s Basketball Tournament games at CONSOL Energy Center

Tickets are $50 here, each with four chances to win! Scroll down and click on the Golden Ticket logo.

10. If you’re not reading the comments from The Duke of Fug’s minions over at this post, you’re missing out. So much awesome as they defend his doughy flesh, call out my cottage cheese ass (‘allo, Gov’nah! I’m not a professional athlete. Take my shot, bitch.), and defy us to play football with a broken foot and nose. They forgot to mention his ouchie thumb.

Also, shout out to the guys on the thread just aghast that we women would dare make a comment about Ben’s fleshy physical fitness.

Oh, come cry to me when Christina Aguilera or any female celebrity not a size zero isn’t considered a giant fat ass and then we’ll talk. He’s a professional athlete. His physical form is fair game, I think.

11. Finally, a new post up at Pittsburgh Magazine, this one checking in on the status of those New Year’s resolutions I made in January.

I’ve knocked a few off the list. Failed at others thus far. Drank lots of tequila. Hate boats.

Plus, any post that features an Arrested Development clip and jetpacks is a must-read.



  1. Mrs. McBeam
    June 15, 2011 4:21 pm

    I guess Ben isn’t trying to get in shape for the (cross fingers) season or his upcoming nuptuals.

  2. DG
    June 15, 2011 4:32 pm

    I get all warm and fuzzy inside when somebody comes to Pittsburgh for the first time and declares it “so nice”.

  3. Lynnetta
    June 15, 2011 4:46 pm

    Who thought that NKOTBSB was a good idea? Come on. The first time I read that a couple months back I thought it was a mis-type. New Kids on the Backstreet Boys? Really?

  4. Anon
    June 15, 2011 5:27 pm

    I would have been happy to go through today without ever encountering the linked bile-inducing article. I know the world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows and kittens, but I’m not sure what the point was in highlighting that.

  5. Cassie
    June 15, 2011 5:46 pm

    You know, there’s such a thing as BIRTH CONTROL.

    Times like these I wish I owned a sterility wand so I could save the world from idiots breeding.

  6. unsatisfied
    June 15, 2011 6:47 pm

    #4 — they’re still….well, you know.

  7. Me
    June 15, 2011 7:23 pm

    Do I take up two places if I am both a saucy wench and a drunk yinzer?

  8. grrrrrrrrrrrrr
    June 15, 2011 8:05 pm

    #2 makes me so angry … and I thought I got PO’ed when I saw pregnant women smoking! have to stop thinking about it now so i don’t cry and/or puke.

  9. Silica
    June 15, 2011 9:06 pm

    That story makes me sick. I don’t buy the excuse either- if he was smart enough to think up the lie he told to try and cover it up, then he was smart enough to know that was an actual option. And to not go that route when you know you could…ugh. As soon as I finished reading I had to cuddle my two month old.

    God bless that poor child.

  10. Noelle
    June 15, 2011 10:23 pm

    @Me. I love this. Saucy wench AND drunk yinzer! We should start a secret society…

  11. Rich D
    June 16, 2011 8:36 am

    Re: The team that shall not be named & record of same.


    Thank you,


  12. troysussaves
    June 16, 2011 8:42 am

    34 and 33. It’s time…

  13. emilie
    June 16, 2011 8:50 am

    Saucy Wenches would make a GREAT band name. : )

  14. bluzdude
    June 16, 2011 9:14 am

    RE Saucy Wenches:
    Reminds me of a favorite old Far Side cartoon, where someone stands before a Viking King holding a giant wheel with a handle at the axel. The caption says, “You fool! I said ‘Bring me the wench!‘”

    Lastly, the Sterility Wand just makes good sense. Personally, I would wear it out down at the Ravens’ Stadium.

  15. Jaime
    June 16, 2011 9:16 am

    The no-talking ban worked!! There really is a Santa Claus!!!

  16. Col
    June 16, 2011 9:30 am

    What is rolo?!

    Also, I be a saucy wench!

  17. red pen mama
    June 16, 2011 9:58 am

    I wish like hell I hadn’t clicked to read #2. that just… the rant I have brewing in my head about pro-choice, pro-life, birth control, and adoption. AND EDUCATION — not just about S-E-X. It’s not pretty.

    However, on the other end, the Benny defenders (Benny’s Bunnies?)… priceless. I wouldn’t have expected the turn those comments took, although one of the things I love so much about That’s Church is the fact that the comments so often go into unforeseen territory.

  18. Sue
    June 16, 2011 10:07 am

    The Princess Bride reference almost made coffee come out of my nose…..

  19. Pensgirl
    June 16, 2011 3:12 pm

    Just wanna make sure I understand how we’re categorizing everything these days:

    Pittsburgh: More Burgh than Pitt
    William Pitt: More Pitt than Burgh
    will.i.am: Neither Pitt nor Burgh

  20. JB
    June 16, 2011 3:13 pm

    Unfortunately, crazy right wing terrorists are doing everything in their power to take away rights to birth control, women’s reproductive health care, and abortion. Never an excuse to kill a baby, and those people must be held accountable, but if the legislatures continues in the direction it is headed, prepare to read many more of those headlines.

  21. Holy Crap!
    June 18, 2011 9:58 pm

    OMG, JB — such respect for the truth and such powers of reasoning!! Let me get this straight: People would kill more children after giving birth if it ever became illegal to kill them before birth?!!

    Prolifers ask: What’s the difference?

    (Location location location)

  22. Megs
    June 21, 2011 5:38 pm

    #2 – as an adoptive parent (not because we couldn’t conceive, but because its how we want to grow our family), this reminds me to pray for adoption in general. The horrible peer pressure on teens to keep their babies (“if they TRULY loved them”) instead of placing for adoption (“you must hate your baby”) needs to be turned around.

  23. Samantha
    June 24, 2011 10:21 pm

    Hmm…all the Ben boy lovers are on here!

    Get in shape! You’re an athlete! The whole team who showed up at that waterpark were all out of shape. Other teams are probably laughing at ours because an athlete doesn’t let himself go!