Monthly Archives: August 2011

T-Shirt winners and a new giveaway!

Random.org selected comment #176 from reader Matt who wrote:

Great shirts!

MATT! It’s no fun if you don’t play along! Tsk.

And also comment #75 from reader Megrcam51 who wrote:

I am still rocking my Rainbow bright pj pants!

Rainbow Brite! Now there’s a blast from the past.

Bitch stole Punky Brewster’s look.

The winners have been contacted via email.

If you didn’t win, you can buy a shirt from Fresh Factory here.

You also can enter this new giveaway for a free fine art photography print of Pittsburgh!

What: Karie Lynch, the local photographer who runs the Spackle the Gap shop on Etsy has generously agreed to grant one lucky winner their choice of an 8 x 10 print of any image in her shop. She will then mount it and double-matte it to an 11 x 17 size for framing. That is a gorgeous size for hanging in your home or office, or for putting away to gift this holiday season.

Some of her prints include these (click for embiggens):

Heinz Field, her most popular:

Kennywood, one in a series of three Kennywood prints:

And this one, Pittsburgh Crossroads, which I also love:

OMG. WE GET IT. IT’S ONE WAY!

To Enter: Leave a comment. One comment per valid email address. You have until Friday at noon to enter at which time Random.org will select the winning comment number and I’ll then post the History Center ticket giveaway. So you have something so say, describe briefly or in great detail the most embarrassing picture in existence of yourself.  Mine? You’ve already seen them. ALL OF THEM.

If your comment goes to spam, take a hi-res photo of it and email it to me. No, don’t do that. Chillax. I’ll pull it out of spam for you.

Good luck!





Here lies Jane Orie’s political career. RIP.

If Jane Orie and Steely McBeam had a scare off, who would make you pee your pants first?

Jane Orie was charged with a slew of new crap yesterday including perjury, tampering and forgery, surrounding the allegations that she doctored documents presented in her trail earlier this year. And by doctored, you recall, we mean literal cut and paste like the AMISH version of cut and paste. Scissors and real live paste like you eat in kindergarten.

Despite the fact that the judge invoked Ray Charles in realizing signatures were doctored and despite the fact that she is the only person who could have benefited from the doctored signatures and incredibly pertinent hand-written notations that she testified she herself wrote, she is weepily proclaiming she has done nothing wrong and her brother and lawyer are claiming the only reason 15 new charges have been filed complete with an abundance of evidence is because of a political vendetta.

Good luck with that. I’d be Kool-Aid-Manning the walls to the DAs office if he HADN’T brought these charges.

You’ve got to read the affidavit yourself. After reading it, I’m just aghast that anyone would think they can get away with this stuff.

Possibly the saddest part is that Jane Orie had a real chance to be found innocent of her original charges, but is now faced with fifteen new ones that make her look desperate to cover up her prior misdeeds, however seemingly inconsequential, with ALL NEW AND IMPROVED misdeeds.   Like covering dog vomit with a pee-stained rug.

These new charges come with much more solid proof than the original ones, particularly the perjury charges in light of the questioned existence of a quasi-campaign office Orie testified did not exist. Guess what? IT DID EXIST! Add to that evidence from the U.S. Secret Service and the discovery of the original documents without the handwritten notations and you’ve got yourself some real good proof.

In summation, ladies and gentlemen, Jane Orie iz screwed.

Let’s recess for lunch.





The State of the Bandwagon: Poop.

Look. I’m not saying I’ve got my lighter out or anything, I’m just saying you might want to start practicing your tuck and roll maneuvers because this free-fall they’re in right now is seriously making me also consider writing them a poop-smeared letter.

That’s all.





Gotham has a new villain.

While the Petunia Desperado continues to lay low knowing we have a picture of her and while the Enthusiastic Rogue Tree Pruner hasn’t been heard from in ages, probably planning an epic pruning of some untidy North Shore trees, and while the ninjas remain invisible and the taser-resistant drunks are probably in a warehouse somewhere drinking Buds and tasering each other to build up their resistance, a new villain has kicked down the door to Gotham and made himself known.

The Sharply Dressed Penny Thief.

[bloody murder scream!]

Police are looking for a sharp-dressed man who broke into a western Pennsylvania dollar store but who, apparently, stole only pennies.Uniontown police say surveillance video shows a man breaking into Family Dollar on North Gallatin Avenue shortly before midnight Sunday.

Police say the man can be seen kicking out the bottom of a glass door to get into the store and then going to a cash register, which was empty.Police say it appears the only thing the man stole was some pennies held in a red plastic shot glass on a cashier’s counter.

The pennies were apparently there for anyone who might need them to make exact change.

Someone tell Lukey to get Batman on the batphone.

We’re looking for a sharply dressed man who in my mind is wearing a purple pimp suit and is possibly hanging around wishing wells, because, srsly, that is the only damn place a penny is good for these days.

Be on the lookout! [swishes cape and runs off in dramatic fashion]





A question.

Why does the PLCB bother spending craploads of money on full-color, multi-page glossy Sunday newspaper inserts advertising their fall sale on wines and spirits when there IS NO OTHER GOSH DARN PLACE IN THE ENTIRE STATE OF PENNSYLVANIA FOR US TO BUY WINES AND SPIRITS?!

It’s like they don’t even understand what a monopoly is.

[shakes cute little fist]